All this time I've been focused on just getting my errands done as quickly as possible without head-butting anyone who gets in my way. But I could have met my soul mate, at least according to this article.
One errand that is good for finding "the one", according to this article, is grocery shopping. It says, "When you see a hot guy pushing a cart filled with family portion style meals, forget him. He's not single. He's likely to be a well-trained husband. Single guys carry baskets and hang around the frozen pizza aisle!"
The only thing is that I've always been a morning bird rather than a night owl, which is why I prefer to get my grocery shopping done before 10 A.M. I'm able to do this since I usually teach in the late morning and have office hours in the afternoon, and my website job is done in the evenings and on weekends. Most of the people shopping at the supermarket when it's that early are elderly people. I don't want to sound like too much of an ageist, but I really just don't want to date someone who's at least fifty years older than me, you know? I just don't know how all of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends deal with it (And I'd rather not know, frankly.).
I suppose I could go grocery shopping later in the day, when more guys are getting off of work and are stopping in to buy dinner. I tried that in the past, and one of two things usually happened. I became impatient and stressed out by all the long lines and people cutting in front of me, to the point that I would have whapped them in the head with my box of Froot Loops if I had any less self-restraint.
The other was that I'd often see couples and groups of people shopping together; they'd be buying lots of food for meals that they'd cook together, or they'd be buying beer and junk food for parties. I always felt like they could tell that I was alone because of the single-serving meals that I bought, and it just made me feel lonely. Of course, there's loneliness in the morning crowd too; some of the elderly people will stand in line and chat with the cashiers for a few minutes. I'm less impatient with them holding up the line than with the younger people; I have the feeling that they strike up conversations with the cashiers because they're lonely. I might end up like them someday, a lonely old woman who just wants someone to talk to.
The article said that you could also meet a potential mate at the bookstore; it said, "While you're browsing, check to see if there's more than a bestseller you fancy devouring!" I did go to Unabridged Bookstore recently. It's a really great bookstore that's in East Lakeview, my favorite neighborhood in Chicago (I wish I could afford to live there).
However, East Lakeview is also known as Boystown, which means that a gay guy is more likely to meet a potential match at Unabridged than I am. Not to mention I'm happiest in bookstores; it always thrills me to be in a room filled with other people's words and ideas. When I'm at the bookstore, I'm usually more focused on finding an interesting book to read than anything else.
But there was a guy at Unabridged who caught my eye that day; when he looked at me, he suddenly looked up and then looked away. So I looked up too, and I realized that I was standing in the erotica section, as evidenced by the book covers featuring pictures of half-naked people. Oops. (I don't read erotica; I know it's a legitimate and popular genre, and a lot of people do enjoy reading and writing it. But I always fear that if I buy one of those books I'll run into one of my students or one of the nuns from my church at the same time. That's also the reason that I feel self-conscious when shopping for new underwear.)
Another tip the article gave was this: "Wherever you go, walk the walk! Men find a woman's walk sexier when she adopts the natural human stride, a loose, gentle gait and swinging arms." But I happen to be a total klutz. The last time I tried walking like that, I ended up running away from a dead rat and nearly knocked over some guy in the process. So that one's a no go as far as I'm concerned.
I figure I'll try online dating again in a few months, but not anytime soon. Right now I still need to focus on my dissertation prospectus; I wrote a new draft and gave it to two of the people on my committee. I'm hoping they'll like this new draft better this time so that I won't end up feeling as devastated as I did the last time I turned in a draft; I was devastated because my mentor said that I'd done it all wrong. Also, even though I really do want to meet someone, I kind of like being on my own right now.
What do you think? What do you think are some good places to meet potential matches, other than online dating sites? If you've already found "the one", how did you meet him/her?
I met my boyfriend in a bar. I also met my last boyfriend in a bar. The one before him was also met in a bar. I happen to be very comfortable in bars and so are the men that I date, haha.
ReplyDeleteI did once get asked out in a bookstore. I was in the bookstore for a long time, perhaps an hour, reading a book in a corner because I was too cheap/indecisive to buy it. And this guy came up to me and asked if I wanted to get a drink with him. I was underage at the time and also totally flabbergasted by his moxie, so I said no. But it does actually happen.
And here in the UAE, it's totally normal for Arab men to ask out Arab women at the mall. They just go up to one and ask for the woman's number. And it surprisingly works for them.
Hi mmarinaa,
DeleteI don't like going to bars because I don't like drinking alcohol; when I do buy a drink, I just keep thinking of how I could have bought coffee or soda instead at a cheaper price. And anyway, most of my friends don't go to bars anymore, and I don't feel comfortable going to bars on my own. I wish I could be like Samantha Jones in Sex and the City (though I don't think I'd want as many dates as she gets), because she was always able to walk into any bar or club on her own with total confidence.
Those articles are such nonsense, in my experience (but who knows, maybe its a cultural thing)
ReplyDeleteHi Gia,
DeleteI don't think I've ever actually followed the advice in those types of articles, but I like reading them anyway. That's partly why I got a free subscription to Cosmopolitan with MyCokeRewards points. :)
People really meet like this? Wow. I like the old standby: become a guy's friend and see what happens. Friendship is a great foundation for romance.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily,
DeleteI think that it's mostly people on TV and in the movies who meet in bookstores and grocery stores; you always see guys (and sometimes girls) striking up conversations in those places. But at most of the places I've been to, whether they were bars or the bookstores, people check each other out but rarely talk to each other. I guess they're hoping that other people will make the first move.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI've always met my romantic interests through other people or at work/school. My two long-term relationships, which includes the one I'm in now, were totally unexpected though. So, I always think it happens when we aren't looking for it to happen.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, speaking of "store" encounters, my parents met at a department store, where my mom worked at the time. My father asked her out, and they ended up married (now for 30 + years).
Hi Charles,
DeleteMeeting someone at work isn't an option for me, since most of the people I work with are my own students. And most of the other English teachers are women; most of the guys are in relationships.
I like your parents' story; that sounds sweet. I worked in a clothing store for a long time, but most of the guys who shopped there were with their girlfriends.
I can't imagine meeting someone in a grocery store. It always puts me in a foul mood! Hm... I've met men on the bus before! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Talli,
DeleteActually, being on the bus puts me in a bad mood, particularly if it's really crowded and there's no room to move or sit and everyone keeps shoving each other. Being at the grocery store is okay if they're giving out free samples of good food. :)
I have not found "the one" at all. But I did meet a guy at a grocery store once. He worked at Trader Joe's at the check out line. Which gave me the one and only oportunity to use this pick-up line "I was hoping you'd check me out, I mean my groceries." He was incredibly sweet and we dated for several months. I had a guy try to pick me up at Barnes and Noble once. Another while shopping at Goodwill. It doesn't just happen on TV, haha it happens in my blog too! These pick-up stories make for the best entries. My most ballsey was when I just started taking to a guy on the street who had a banjo over his shoulder. We dated for 2+ months.
ReplyDeleteHi New York Cliche,
DeleteI love your pickup line at Trader Joe's; maybe I should use it sometime, because I've seen some cute guys working at some of the grocery stores in Chicago. I wish that you could be my wingwoman when I run errands, because you obviously have better luck than I do when it comes to meeting guys.
hm... I've flirted with the idea of moving to Chicago...if I ever do, I will totally be your wing woman!
DeleteI think the places you can meet a match are limitless. The easiest was back when I was in school, mostly college. I'd get to know guys in my class, become their friend, and sometimes we'd end up dating briefly.
ReplyDeleteI met my husband on Facebook, about 6 and a half years ago. We went to the same college but didn't know each other in person. He messaged me saying he noticed we had some of the same interests, would we want to get together sometime? But... I turned him down! A few months later, I felt bad and messaged him again. We started dating a month later. :)
Besides online and at school, I've heard of people meeting guys while taking a walk around their neighborhood (walking a dog, if you have one).
Hi Shelley,
DeleteSorry about my late response; I thought I had already written back, but I checked and realized that I didn't! Sorry! Anyway, I like your story about how you met your husband through Facebook. That almost makes me reconsider my position on not joining Facebook. :)
I'd love to have my own dog, but my apartment building won't allow dogs; many buildings in Chicago don't allow them. I've stopped to pet other people's dogs, but one thing I've noticed is that a few guys won't actually let people come near their dogs. They say it's because the dogs are shy/antsy around strangers, but more often than not the dogs look friendly and want to be petted. And I should know because I had my own dog for twelve years until she died from old age. But oh well.
Ooh, here's something - don't ever not go out when you're single. I was working at a coffee shop ten years ago, and came home from a morning/day shift utterly wiped. There was message on the answering machine from a friend who said she was going over to a guy friend's house and I could come too.
ReplyDeleteIf I hadn't gone, I wouldn't be married today!
You should try online dating now. :)
ReplyDeleteI would say, don't try so hard. I haven't met the "one" yet, but the guys that I have met that either were love interests for a short period of time or who became good friends were guys that I met through (1) mutual work functions outside of work, (2) at a friend's party (3) at my church (4) at school, and (5) volunteering. Since school is out of the picture nowadays you just have to be in places where people of similar backgrounds are. If you don't like drinking that much then maybe it doesn't make sense to meet someone at a bar, even if it worked for other people.
ReplyDeleteI would say, get with your girlfriends and do stuff that you find fun. If a guy is interested, HE will find YOU, not the other way around (I know I know, sounds archaic), but when I have pursued the guy it hasn't worked; when he pursued me it was a lot more fun!!
Hi Lissa,
DeleteSorry about the late response; I haven't been blogging much the past few days, so I haven't had a chance to visit my blog. As far as meeting guys goes, I actually haven't really been trying to meet anyone lately. I've decided to focus on my dissertation, fiction writing, and teaching instead; I figure that is enough to keep me busy, at least for now.