Just Relax

I've been feeling stressed, anxious, and frustrated lately because of my dissertation. I can't stop beating myself up over the fact that it will take me an extra year to finish, especially because several of my classmates will be finishing this year. It's hard to listen to them talk about the jobs that they've already started to apply for, as well as the articles that they've published and the presentations that they've made at conferences.

It makes me feel like all the hard work that I've done over the past several years doesn't mean much, because I haven't accomplished as much as they have. On the other hand, there are several other classmates who will also be taking an extra year to finish their dissertations.

There has been more than one weekend where I didn't see sunlight at all (I'm like the Academic Vampire who feeds on footnotes) because I spent the whole time cooped up indoors, working.

Now it's fall and I realized that I didn't go to the lake at all this past summer. Every year that I've lived in Chicago, I go out and sit by the lake and watch the water move and think about things, sometimes for hours. It's something that has always calmed me. But because I was so busy working, I didn't go to the lake at all and now it's too cold to sit out there.

So I've been trying to find other ways to relax. (It's not possible for me to completely relax due to the fact that I have a Type A personality; I've even woken up with my hand waving in the air, because I was dreaming about grading papers.) Here are a few that I've considered:

1. Posting a sign that says "LOUD PEOPLE SUCK" on my window for all my neighbors to see, or waking them up at 5 A.M. with a megaphone and yelling, "Attention, all annoying people. If you don't like being woken up this early, then remember this the next time that you let your friends stay over or turn your TV on at top volume until 2 A.M. on a Tuesday. Otherwise, next time I'm going to start SINGING."

Okay. Obviously, I wouldn't do this, because it might not be the best way to relieve stress (though it would be a good way to make enemies). But it would make me feel at least a little better.

2. Go to a yoga class and resolve to make it through the whole class without accidentally falling onto anyone else while we're doing one of those "poses" or silently wondering if my butt looks big in my yoga pants.

3. Watch a TV show that does not include sociopathic serial killers, good-looking crime scene investigators who somehow find it necessary to explain everything they're doing to their colleagues, or twentysomethings who throw temper tantrums and get into bar brawls in order to get attention. (You'd think that if people who get into bar fights as often as some people on TV do, they would learn not to wear short dresses, because then they'd be much less likely to flash people when they start fighting.)

Side note: What show can I watch then? Glee? I tried watching that show, but even though I always liked those old Hollywood musicals, I've never really liked Glee. The people on that show are too darn enthusiastic. When I'm in a bad mood because I had to stand next to someone on the train who has never heard of mouthwash, the last thing I want to watch is a bunch of people who are so happy that they can't stop dancing. And somehow watching lawyers prosecute criminals or cops catch the bad guys makes me feel better, especially because the bad guys in real life often don't get caught or punished.

4. Join an online dating site again earlier than I originally planned, since I was going to put it off for a few months until after my dissertation committee approves a draft of my dissertation. But maybe going on dates will help get my mind off of my work, and it could give me something to look forward to. Maybe I'll even meet someone nice.

Or maybe I'll become even more stressed, anxious, and frustrated by guys who apparently have never heard of the word "discretion" when it comes to writing e-mails to women that they've never met.

5. Writing in coffeehouses, especially early in the morning, because most people aren't up yet and it's still quiet. This is the one "relaxation technique" that works for me. Even though writing is technically "work", it's different because it's something that I do that's just for me, and it's something that I enjoy doing. Even though I'm not published yet, and even though I occasionally envy the successful authors who have already "made it", that doesn't take away the pleasure of writing for me.

What about you? How do you relax?