Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Things Students Say, Or, How To Make Your Teacher Explode

1. I know I'm an hour late, but I won't be counted as absent, right?

2. Why should I take my headphones out? My iPod's not even on.

3. I have to keep my Twitter page up during class. My followers need me.

4. Since I registered late, I feel I should have an extension on all the assignments.

5. Do I really need to buy the book for this class?

6. My tuition pays for your salary, so that makes me your boss.

7. Can't we just watch movies in class every day? It's pretty much the same as reading the books.

8. I think I should get an A because I stayed awake during class every day. And it was not easy.

9. I think we should be allowed to text people during class because it's not like we're making any noise.

10. I think you were being too hard on John when you told him he couldn't read comic books during class. That's not good for his self-esteem.

11. When you make us come to class every day, you're violating our constitutional rights.

12. It's not like I plagiarized the whole book.

13. Why should it matter if I turn the work in on time as long as I do it?

14. I have to leave class forty-five minutes early today. Hello? Tonight's the season premiere of Gossip Girl and I want to be home in time for it. But I won't be counted as absent since I stayed for the first five minutes of class, right?

15. I don't deserve this grade. You must have made a mistake.

16. Sorry I missed the last five classes. Can you just send me an e-mail and tell me what I missed?

17. Can you write a letter of recommendation for me? It's due tomorrow so can you have it done by tonight?

18. This is so unfair! Why do we even have to do all this reading in English class anyway?

19. Why can't I use my friend Jane as a source for my research paper? She's totally an expert on pop culture. She's seen, like, every episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

20. Can't you just tell me what to write so that I'll get an A?

I really don't think it's a coincidence that my hair started turning white the first year I started teaching.


  1. #6, did you ask for a day off and a better healthcare package? How about a raise?

    #8, I'm sure you didn't slap this student, but I'm sure you wanted to.

    #12, explain how that works in a court of law.

    #'s 15, 16, and 17, have happened to me.

    Life changes a lot for these students when they get jobs, I'm sure. And then there are the students who work so hard. Bless them.

  2. I read this outloud to my partner, who is a Psych professor. Instead of just laughing like I thought he would, he started to cry because he was glad to know he wasn't the only one.


  3. LOL

    wow, this all sounds very familiar in one way or another. i got a similar email to #16 today (cept he only missed 1 class). he wanted a summary--i told him everything you need is on the syllabus.

    we SO don't get paid enough to put up w/some of this ;)

  4. Hi Theresa,
    I only wish I could be there to see the look on students' faces when they realize that they can't treat their bosses like that and they can't act like that in the workplace.
    It does always irk me when I get asked for a recommendation letter at the last minute. I don't mind writing them, but I need enough time.

    Hi Geophrie,
    It is good to know that I'm not the only one. Sometimes I feel guilty for getting so frustrated, but I'm only human.

    Hi Catherine,
    We DEFINITELY don't get paid enough. And I never understood why they think it's okay to e-mail us to ask about the class after they were absent. It's bad enough that they missed class in the first place.

    Hi prernatutors,