Monday, June 14, 2010

You Know There Won't Be a Second Date When...

1. Your date flirts with the waitress. Twice.

2. You end up talking about the weather for at least a third of the date.

3. You or your date starts talking about an ex.

4. You order anything garlic-flavored or onion-flavored for dinner, even though you know you forgot your mints at home.

5. You keep thinking about the reruns you're missing.

6. You and your date spend more time looking at other people than each other.

7. You check your watch at least fifteen times.

8. One hour into the date, you already know that you won't be waiting by the phone for your date to call.

9. Your date spends 85% of  the evening talking about sports, which you have 0% interest in.

10.You visit the restroom in the restaurant and immediately look for a window that you can escape out of.

11. You think up imaginary blog titles about your date, such as "How I Almost Fell Asleep While Talking" and "Maybe I SHOULD Just Stay Single".

Not all of these things happened on my dates with two different guys last week (though some of them did). I did say I wouldn't reveal a lot of details about either date, but, well, I changed my mind. It's not like I'm giving away ALL the details about either date, and anyway, writing about a select few things that happened is therapeutic in some sense, I think. And I will say that these things have happened on previous dates I've been on.

One thing I've learned from dating is that it gives me a better sense of what I want and what I don't want. I want a guy I never have to talk about the weather with. And as far as those two guys from last week go, they were nice, but...

And that's the thing. If you think, they were nice, BUT... then you know that you don't want a second date. But I'm not sorry I went out with either guy. I figure that at the very least it's a good learning experience, and not, you know, an excuse to buy ten pints of ice cream and sweats in three different colors.


  1. Good for you. Even though you have not found the one you click with yet, you are getting something from the experience. Have fun!

  2. My favorite is thinking of reruns you're missing. :)

  3. that list is funny!

    and i think you've got a really good outlook on the process - that you're getting a better sense of what you want and don't want.

    plus, i'm sure you are getting some major inspiration for scenes in your novels!

  4. #12 You know there won't be a second date when you write disparagingly about the first one on a blog. ;)

    God for you for getting out there though. It's good for your writing at least, right?

  5. Go you!!! You are so right; dating teaches you what you want and don't want out of a guy. Funny post and great blog :)

  6. You had me laughing and cringing and laughing. Did you see the 30 Rock episode where she thinks she's met her future husband (high after a root canal), but their first date is a disaster? This post reminded me of that.

    I guess when you go through a lot of bad first dates, it makes the ones that have second date potential that much sweeter. Hope you get those soon!

  7. Hang in there; it'll work out well in the end.

  8. When you're thinking about missing reruns you know that you're on a date w/ a first timer and only timer!

    Better luck next time. I'm rooting for you to find someone who will talk more about literature & less about sports! :)

  9. I think this is one of the reasons why I don't like dating and never have. I'm more of a friends first type of girl and if you start off dating, you have all these expectations and crap. Ugh. No thank you.

    Sports is boring! I'm glad I found a guy who has the same amount of interest in sports that I do...little to none. :) Although, he'll never understand my obsession with food.

  10. Hi Lyrix,
    You're right; I am getting something from the experience. I just hope that I do eventually find someone I click with.

    Hi Mei,
    Teehee, thanks! What can I say? I never get tired of watching Frasier reruns.

    Hi mi,
    Yes, I think that these dates could serve as inspiration. Maybe I'll meld all the dates together into one of the "unsuitable suitors" that often show up in chick lit.

    Hi Rebecca,
    I think it could be good for my writing. By writing about it, it's easier for me to express how I feel about it.

    Hi Saumya,
    Thanks! Hopefully the next date I go on won't prompt me to make another list like this one.

    Hi Theresa,
    I hope I do meet someone with second date potential soon too. And not just second date potential, but third date potential, and fourth date, and...

    Hi Mohamed,
    Thanks for the encouragement. Hopefully it will work out.

    Hi notesfromnadir,
    It'd be nice if he liked to read too, but I don't mind if he likes sports. Just as long as he doesn't mind that I don't want to talk about sports for hours.

    Hi Palindrome,
    Oh, that would be nice to meet someone who likes to talk about food. Some of those famous chefs are cute... :)

  11. LOL oh I am agonizing with you on these dates! They sound interminable. Laughing about how you looked for a window to escape from in the restroom! Better luck next time :)

  12. Hi KarenG,
    Unfortunately there was no window. There was an emergency exit nearby, but I figured I might cause a little commotion if I used it.

  13. Aww, sorry it didn't go well. Kiss those frogs!

  14. May I make a suggestion?

    Meet them for coffee first.

    Sitting through an entire meal with someone you have no chemistry with is torture.
    You can always extend a coffee date into a meal if things go well...and you can learn enough from a coffee date to know if you want to learn more about them...or NOT.

    But you sure have gained a lot of fodder for your chick lit! ;) All in the name of research!

    Some day I'll tell you about a dinner a had with a funeral director...and how I escaped. It's epic.

  15. Hi Shannon,
    But then I might get frog breath. :)

    Hi Lola,
    That's a good suggestion. And now I'm really curious about that dinner with the funeral director! Interesting...
    I did go on a couple coffee dates last year. But typically the guys I've gone out with were the ones who suggested dinner, so I figured I might as well go along with it; it usually means free food. :) (Not that that's the only reason I go, of course.)

  16. Oh my goodness, I love this. We have entirely too much in common here not to share insights, suggestions, horror stories, etc.! I'd like to add another one to your list: 12. You wonder if you could somehow manage to get your phone out of your purse and send a "Get-Away Phone Call Needed Now!" text to the first person in your Contacts list without being caught in the act. I'd love to get your insight on my shenanigans.

  17. Hi Melanie,
    That's a good one! I bet a lot of people could benefit from the get-away phone call; maybe someone should start some kind of telephone service to help people in situations like that.