1. I think that the work of Jane Austen, Ernest Hemingway, and Richard Wright is more important than the work of Judith Butler, Jacques Derrida, and Karl Marx.
2. While you are listening attentively, taking notes, and asking intelligent questions at lectures and workshops, I am checking my watch for the thirtieth time and thinking, I'd rather explain string theory to the Kardashians than be here. Actually, I'd rather let the Kardashians explain string theory to ME than be here.
3. When I sit quietly at my desk in the office that the teaching assistants share, I try not to hear about the parties and outings that you plan together. And I try not to let it bother me that I'm never invited.
4. I feel much happier writing fiction and creative nonfiction than I do writing a dissertation that hardly anyone will ever read (even though I know that there's a chance that hardly anyone will ever read my fiction and creative nonfiction).
5. Oh, my dissertation? I've written about a hundred and fifty pages of b.s. so far, and you?
6. When you laughed at me for staying in the office to work on a Friday night, I never told you how I was tempted to pour soda all over your books and papers after you left.
7. I really do think it's great that you've won awards for your work. The last time I won an award was when I worked in retail, for being a fast and efficient worker.
8. The only people who think I'm doing a great job are my students.
9. I've burst into tears in the ladies' room and started stress-eating Starburst on more than one occasion.
10. I'm always nervous and stressed before I have to meet with my professors, and I'm even more stressed after I've met with them.
11. Sometimes grad school feels like junior high all over again with its "cool kids" and its "cliques", and I'm the weird outcast all over again. Back then I was smart and I earned good grades; at least I had that. But in graduate school, I usually feel like I'm anything but smart.
12. I gave up on trying to be included in the grad school cliques a long time ago. When I'm away from grad school, I go bike riding by the lake when it's warm. I write in cafes and take one-night classes at StoryStudio. I dance at the gym. I go to book signings and other literary events, where I meet authors (last week I got my picture taken with B.J. Novak, aka Ryan from The Office, at his book signing for his collection of short stories!). I read books without any footnotes in them. Those things make me happy, and they give me something to look forward to when I'm at school.
How about you? Do you keep secrets from the people that you work with? Do you still encounter cliques now that you're an adult, or were they left behind once you left school?
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21 hours ago
I've recently discovered that the mom's in my small town are very cliquey. Fortunately, I'm so far from the 'cool' crowd I wasn't even aware of it, and don't care that I'm not a part of it. ;) My best friend has been my best friend since middle school, and I'm good with that.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a few close friends to be with when the cliques drive you crazy. :)
Hi Rachel,
DeleteI do have some close friends, though I don't get to see them that often due to work. I think it's more difficult to make friends in graduate school than it is in college partly because most of us don't live on campus. When we're done with classes and other meetings, we usually go our separate ways.
When I was in grad school, I felt much like you do now. The worst years of my life were junior high and grad school. I hope the end is near and you get to enjoy life beyond intimidating professors and cliques.
ReplyDeleteHi Theresa,
DeleteI think I'll feel much happier and less anxious once I finally finish graduate school; it feels like I've had this weight on my shoulders for years. The day I finally complete my degree cannot come soon enough.
I think I lost more brain cells in grad school from lack of sleep and eating vending machine burritos than I did bearing children. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
ReplyDeleteHi Leslie,
DeleteGrad school makes me feel like I've lost brain cells too. I've also bought way too many sodas from vending machines. I didn't even like coffee before I went to grad school.
I work in a small company and there's still cliques. I've given up caring. I go to work, get my job done, and go home.
ReplyDeleteHi Kari Marie,
DeleteI think that grad school might be a little easier if there weren't any cliques. Like you, I just stay long enough to get my work done; then I can move on to the other things in my life that make me happy.
Hey. I feel you on #1 and #4 especially. I am currently in a distance MA in English, and most of the work I do is on theoretical approach to literature and not the actual reading of literature itself. I often feel happier writing creatively (if my personal journal counts too) and more productive. I don't have any physical association with my fellow grad students since I am a distance student and don't experience the cliquey-ness, but I do feel isolated. I'm glad you write your blog. I would much rather read you than most of what I read for school.
ReplyDeleteHi Charles,
ReplyDeleteWow, thanks! I'd say that writing in your journal definitely counts as creative writing, especially because people often feel freer to express themselves in their journals. Some of the critical theory I've studied has been interesting, but I really do prefer studying literature; I wish that more time could be spent studying literature instead of theory.
It's been many years since I've witnessed a clique, so I'm always surprised when I do. It's like--oh yeah, I remember these.
ReplyDeleteHi Melanie,
DeleteI was surprised too; I thought I wouldn't have to deal with cliques once I became an adult. But at least now that I'm older it's easier to pursue my own interests. One thing I've learned is that it's actually cool to be "different."