You Know You're Getting Older When...

1. You spend more time drinking coffee instead of beer.

2. You say things like, "When I was your age..." and "Kids today..." and "I can't believe people are piercing that now."

3. The sugary cereals that you enjoyed when you were a kid now make you physically sick. (This happened to me the last time I ate Froot Loops. That same night, I had a nightmare that the Kardashian sisters attacked me. Coincidence? I think not.)

4. On the rare occasions that you go to dance clubs, you keep saying, "It's so LOUD in here!" and "Is that girl wearing shorts or underwear?" and "I don't think what they're doing is even legal!"

5. You say to yourself, Thirty is the new twenty, as you fall asleep before 10 P.M. on a Friday night.

6. You get mad at certain men your age who only want to date women who are ten years younger.

7. You replace your piggy bank with a retirement fund.

8. You subscribe to Good Housekeeping instead of Cosmopolitan.

9. When you were a teenager, you thought twenty-two-year-olds were old. But now that you're older, you look at twenty-two-year-olds and think, They look so young.

10. When you were younger and you dated a guy you really liked, you thought, I wonder how he feels about me. When you're older and you date a guy you really like, you think, I wonder how he feels about me...and I wonder how he feels about having kids.

11. If you're single, people keep asking you when you're getting married and remind you that your biological clock is ticking, as if you can't hear it pounding in your head EVERY SINGLE DAY.

12. If you're married, people ask when you're going to have kids, when you're going to have more kids, or when you're going to take their advice about how to raise your kids.

What about you? What makes you feel older?