The Fifth Time Around

I've decided to try online dating again. This is my fifth round of online dating. I tried okcupid and match.com two years ago, and then last year I was a member of eharmony. This past winter I joined chemistry.com. Not that I'm keeping count or anything. It's not like I'm BITTER that I'm still trying or anything.

I put off online dating for the past few months because something was holding me back. For one thing, I couldn't understand why so many guys would sign up for online dating memberships if they weren't going to write anything about themselves in their profiles. I also didn't want to get e-mails that said stuff like "Nice boobs" and "You look a lot like my mom" again.

I also was just enjoying being single. It was nice to not be checking my e-mail several times a day, and when I did check it, it was nice to read my messages without cringing. I liked being on my own and doing what I wanted to do.

But I do want to get married and have a family someday, and that's not going to happen if I keep hiding myself away or if I don't make an effort.

So I'm giving okcupid another try. Mainly it's because okcupid is free; I'm pretty broke and I can't afford to sign up for a paid membership right now. Okcupid is not as conservative as eharmony and chemistry; on the latter sites, you're more likely to find people who are looking for serious relationships. There are people like that on okcupid too, but you're also likely to find people who are looking for something "casual" (cough, cough).

Eharmony and chemistry actually don't take up as much time as okcupid, because they pick the matches for you based on their questionnaire; therefore, you only see the people that the website thinks you're compatible with. In other words, they choose the matches for you and send you about half a dozen profiles to review every day. On okcupid, on the other hand, there are people who are matched with you based on how you responded to the personality questionnaire, but you can look at everybody's profiles.

Still, I went ahead and filled out okcupid's questionnaire. It reminded me of one of those magazine quizzes, where you know which answers will get you the higher score, even though those might not be the answers you'd choose if you were being honest. Here are a few examples of the questions as well as the answers I would have given if I was being 100% honest.

How much can intelligence turn you on?
If he starts laughing like Beavis or Butthead, I'm out of there.

If you don't do anything at all for an entire day, how does that make you feel?
Are you kidding? That would be MADNESS, I tell you! Have you not MET me before?

If you had to name your greatest motivation in life thus far, what would it be?
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of chocolate.

Do you generally smile at little kids who cross your path?
Yes. Unless they're sneezing, coughing, or holding something slimy and wriggling, in which case I run in the opposite direction.

How often are you open with your feelings?
I wish I could be very open with my feelings, particularly with the people who try to cut in front of me in line, the people who say, "Excuse you," and the people who have never heard of breath mints.

Is it a requirement that you communicate with your significant other every single day?
No, especially because he might catch me during one of my rants against the 587 people that I am currently annoyed with, and then he might run in the opposite direction.

I've been on okcupid for about a week so far. I've been exchanging e-mails with two guys who seem nice enough (technically there were four, but two of them pulled disappearing acts, which wasn't very nice. A POX on both of them, I say!). I have a date with one of them coming up soon. Maybe I'll have better luck this time.

On the other hand, I just got a "wink" from some guy who didn't write anything in his profile; several guys who are "seeing someone" have viewed my profile, and there are too many guys who post pictures of themselves wearing nothing but their underwear. Not to be a prude or anything (even though I totally am), but I just figure that there's a time and a place for everything. And I think that an online dating profile is one place where you should keep your pants on, you know?

Okcupid allows members to create their own questions for other members to answer. If you could create your own question for this dating website, what would it be?