Monday, September 12, 2011

The Fifth Time Around

I've decided to try online dating again. This is my fifth round of online dating. I tried okcupid and two years ago, and then last year I was a member of eharmony. This past winter I joined Not that I'm keeping count or anything. It's not like I'm BITTER that I'm still trying or anything.

I put off online dating for the past few months because something was holding me back. For one thing, I couldn't understand why so many guys would sign up for online dating memberships if they weren't going to write anything about themselves in their profiles. I also didn't want to get e-mails that said stuff like "Nice boobs" and "You look a lot like my mom" again.

I also was just enjoying being single. It was nice to not be checking my e-mail several times a day, and when I did check it, it was nice to read my messages without cringing. I liked being on my own and doing what I wanted to do.

But I do want to get married and have a family someday, and that's not going to happen if I keep hiding myself away or if I don't make an effort.

So I'm giving okcupid another try. Mainly it's because okcupid is free; I'm pretty broke and I can't afford to sign up for a paid membership right now. Okcupid is not as conservative as eharmony and chemistry; on the latter sites, you're more likely to find people who are looking for serious relationships. There are people like that on okcupid too, but you're also likely to find people who are looking for something "casual" (cough, cough).

Eharmony and chemistry actually don't take up as much time as okcupid, because they pick the matches for you based on their questionnaire; therefore, you only see the people that the website thinks you're compatible with. In other words, they choose the matches for you and send you about half a dozen profiles to review every day. On okcupid, on the other hand, there are people who are matched with you based on how you responded to the personality questionnaire, but you can look at everybody's profiles.

Still, I went ahead and filled out okcupid's questionnaire. It reminded me of one of those magazine quizzes, where you know which answers will get you the higher score, even though those might not be the answers you'd choose if you were being honest. Here are a few examples of the questions as well as the answers I would have given if I was being 100% honest.

How much can intelligence turn you on?
If he starts laughing like Beavis or Butthead, I'm out of there.

If you don't do anything at all for an entire day, how does that make you feel?
Are you kidding? That would be MADNESS, I tell you! Have you not MET me before?

If you had to name your greatest motivation in life thus far, what would it be?
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of chocolate.

Do you generally smile at little kids who cross your path?
Yes. Unless they're sneezing, coughing, or holding something slimy and wriggling, in which case I run in the opposite direction.

How often are you open with your feelings?
I wish I could be very open with my feelings, particularly with the people who try to cut in front of me in line, the people who say, "Excuse you," and the people who have never heard of breath mints.

Is it a requirement that you communicate with your significant other every single day?
No, especially because he might catch me during one of my rants against the 587 people that I am currently annoyed with, and then he might run in the opposite direction.

I've been on okcupid for about a week so far. I've been exchanging e-mails with two guys who seem nice enough (technically there were four, but two of them pulled disappearing acts, which wasn't very nice. A POX on both of them, I say!). I have a date with one of them coming up soon. Maybe I'll have better luck this time.

On the other hand, I just got a "wink" from some guy who didn't write anything in his profile; several guys who are "seeing someone" have viewed my profile, and there are too many guys who post pictures of themselves wearing nothing but their underwear. Not to be a prude or anything (even though I totally am), but I just figure that there's a time and a place for everything. And I think that an online dating profile is one place where you should keep your pants on, you know?

Okcupid allows members to create their own questions for other members to answer. If you could create your own question for this dating website, what would it be?


  1. Once again, you've made me chuckle. Good for you for putting yourself out there! I can't wait to hear what happens.

  2. Nice boobs? Seriously? I never cease being amazed...

    Okay, how about:

    Do you use deodorant?
    Do you bathe at least once a day?

    Can you tell I don't like BO?

  3. Why oh why would someone write "you look like my mum"...

  4. Hi E.R. King,
    It's kind of scary to put myself out there, because I don't know what will happen. But I hope that it will be worth it in the end.

    Hi Talli,
    Actually, one of the questions on okcupid's questionnaire asked members to indicate how often they took showers. I suppose personal hygiene is important, because I wouldn't want to date someone who only showers sporadically. That could be a problem.

    Hi Tom,
    I'm not quite sure. I think the guy meant it as a compliment, but it just came off sounding weird.

  5. On okcupid like everywhere else that are a lot of weirdos, somebody asked if I died my hair???

    Anyway I met my boyfriend on there, so there are also some lovely people.
    Best of luck :)

  6. Hi smigolphar,
    That's great that you met your boyfriend on okcupid. I have heard of some success stories, but I'm still not so sure if I'll be successful. I have noticed a few guys' profiles with fake pictures, though, and by fake I mean they're pictures of famous actors. Sheesh.

  7. I think if you actually put the answers you were thinking, you'd find the right guy for you.

    I was just trying to get my sister to try on-line dating. I think it's hard to find the right person incidentally through friends and work.

  8. Hi Theresa,
    I kind of wish I could have put done my honest answers, but the questions were multiple choice, unfortunately.
    It is hard to meet people through friends and work, which is why I think more people are doing online dating these days. I wish I could just meet a guy the regular way, though, because it'd be less time-consuming than online dating.