Thursday, February 17, 2011

The (Un)Real Me is similar to eharmony in that members are required to fill out a long questionnaire before signing up. But to the best of my knowledge, has never rejected any prospective members like eharmony has. Eharmony says it's because the person's answers supposedly make it more difficult to find that person a suitable match on the site. I think that getting rejected from an online dating site can be disheartening (fortunately, that didn't happen to me); they might as well say, "You're just going to be SINGLE FOREVER! You will NEVER be in one of our commercials, so just GIVE UP NOW!"

I don't really remember most of the questions on Chemistry's personality test, but they were mainly stuff like "How do you organize your socks?" and "What kinds of vampire methods do you prefer in the bedroom?" (I am not making those questions up. Maybe the second question is meant to show how the website is open to everyone, including people who drink blood and sleep in coffins.)

After you take the test, the website assigns you a personality type. There are several personality types, according to, including Builder, Negotiator, Explorer, and Director. According to the website, I am a Builder. Although Builder is my "dominant personality type", my "secondary type" (meaning I also show elements of it, not that I have another personality like Sybil does) is Explorer. There's even a full-page description that defines my personality. It's actually accurate in many ways.

For example, tells me, "You are detail oriented. You follow the rules. And you tend to respect customs and traditions." I think that being detail oriented comes with being a writing teacher. My job training means that I grieve over grammatical errors, wringing my hands and sobbing, "Does NO ONE proofread anymore?"

I do follow the rules most of the time, because I don't want to end up on Cops and have a bunch of police officers and cameramen chasing me through parking lots while I throw things at them. On the other hand, if someone cuts in front of me in line, then all bets are off because then they're just asking to...Hmmm. I guess I shouldn't finish that sentence.

The website also says that I am "popular" and that I have "people skills". That's true, especially because I now know how to curse out inconsiderate drivers (especially the ones talking on their cell phones) in three languages. Chemistry also says that my friendships are important to me and that I spend time "developing and nurturing these social networks". Actually, I've lost more than one friend because I spend more time working than I do socializing. It might also be because not a lot of other people want to receive dictionaries for their birthdays. (But it's such a practical gift, and an educational one! I mean, who wouldn't want to be able to use words like "balderdash" in everday conversation?)

A Builder also has a "spontaneous side", which is true for me. On the rare occasions I go to my favorite restaurant, I order the same thing every time (why spend money on something you've never tried before, especially when you could end up throwing up in front of other customers?). I arrange my work schedule so that I can watch new episodes of Criminal Minds every week. I've had the same haircut for four years. I usually wear dark colors so that if I spill food or coffee on myself it'll be less noticeable and then people won't recommend that I start wearing bibs.

Okay. So maybe I'm not that spontaneous. But the other day when the barista at Starbucks asked if I wanted to upgrade my usual order of a grande Frappuccino to a venti for just fifty cents more, I said yes. And if that's not spontaneous, I don't know what is!

What do you think of personality tests? Do you think that despite all their differences, people can actually be categorized according to personality types?


  1. I love those personality assessments. They never tell you anything bad. And you can totally pick and choose what you want. "Why yes! I AM quite easy going and optimistic. Flaky, however, doesn't sound right. They must have skewed the data a little bit on that one..."

  2. I used to take quizzes in girly magazines all the time. The ones that were like, "Which member of Hanson are you most likely to date?" and stuff. So silly, but so much fun. I also pay attention to my horoscope. I don't rule my life by it, but if it says I'm going to have a 5 star day, I try my best to have a 5 star day.

  3. "How do you organize your socks?" What? Oh yes i forgot that the way i organise my socks is directly linked to how i am in a relationship. Seriously that's psychology going a little too far. If they put as much effort into their match making as they do thinking up ridiculous questions you're onto a winner.

  4. Hi FreeFlying,
    It is true that they never mention anyone's personality flaws on the site, though I guess that kind of makes sense. I was actually thinking of writing a post about how you can sometimes still tell what the guy's flaws are just by reading his description of himself in his profile.

    Hi Anna,
    Sometimes I take those quizzes too. I must admit that I often peek at the answers just so I can get a better score. :)

    Hi Alice X,
    Some of their questions make sense, like whether or not marriage and/or children is a top priority. But it doesn't really matter to me how a guy organizes his socks, as long as he wears them. Unless he's wearing sandals, because then that would just look weird.

  5. I love taking those tests. I especially love The Birthday Book which basically gives every day a type. Love it. But when it comes to relationships and matching people, I don't know. The Man and I are completely opposites yet I get along with him more than anyone I've ever dated. What does that mean? I couldn't tell you.

  6. Hi Hannah,
    I think it's good to date someone who's different from you, because I think it often makes things more interesting. I've dated guys who were similar to me and guys who were different, and somehow I usually liked the ones who were different better.

  7. You should read this article:

  8. Hi mmarinaa,
    Thanks for the link! Those were interesting questions in the article; I'll have to keep them in mind. I thought some of the questions were funny. I'm curious to see how guys would react if I asked them those questions.

  9. When I think of Builder I think of a construction site! Explorer brings to mind that web browser I try not to use!

    I hope that works for you but if it doesn't don't be too concerned. Seems that there are a lot of silly questions on that site going by your examples. :)

  10. Hi notesfromnadir,
    Some of the questions on the site's personality test made me feel like I was applying for a job or something. I think that real chemistry isn't based just on a list of common interests but also the feelings people get from being around each other.

  11. "The website also says that I am "popular" and that I have "people skills". That's true, especially because I now know how to curse out inconsiderate drivers..."

    That's why I follow your blog - because of your people skills!

    And yes, getting a different type or size of coffee is definitely spontaneous.

  12. Hi Theresa,
    I usually just get the same size of coffee. Getting the larger size makes me even more hyper, which tends to freak people out. :)
    As far as dealing with inconsiderate drivers, I'm thinking of learning more languages just so I'll have more options when I have to yell at them.

  13. I'd be scared to take the personality test in the first place just because I'm so self-conscious I don't think I could handle any negative feedback.