Tuesday, October 24, 2017

What Not to Put in Your Tinder Profile

1. If you're only going to post one picture of yourself in your profile, don't put a picture of yourself with your guy friends and then not indicate which one is you. What if I swipe right on your picture, thinking that you are one of your better-looking friends? That would just be awkward.

2. If you're only going to post one picture of yourself in your profile, post a picture of your FACE, not your back, your car, your dog, a blank wall, a package of flushable wipes (some guy really did post that, along with a picture of breath mints, but nothing else in his profile), etc.

3. If you're only going to post one picture of yourself, make sure that the viewer can SEE you, so don't post a picture of yourself standing fifty feet away from the camera.

4. If you post nothing but a picture of two hooks that are intertwined and a profile headline that reads, "Wanna hook up?" I'm DEFINITELY going to swipe left.

5. It's okay to post shirtless pictures of yourself (I guess), if you at least have other pictures of yourself wearing clothes. But I'm not looking for a hookup, so I'm going to swipe left if you post nothing but a picture of your bare chest because that immediately tells me what YOU'RE looking for. I know that a lot of people join Tinder specifically looking for hookups, but I really would like to get to know a guy before he takes his clothes off. (The bare chest makes me think of peacocks showing off their feathers to attract a mate, and the female mates like me are all, "Meh.")

6. I'm also going to swipe left if you write that you're married and looking to have "quiet fun on the side" or if you write that you don't want to meet anyone in real life but are just looking for a chat partner to "spice things up" for you.

7. Don't post a picture of yourself with a woman who's kissing you, has her arms around you, or has her legs in your lap. Like, don't you have any OTHER pictures of yourself?

8. If you're only going to post one picture of yourself, show your whole face, not just the side of it. For some reason, I've seen lots of profiles where the only picture of each guy shows nothing but one side of his face. I don't believe that looks are all that matter. I just want to know what you look like so that if we set up a date, I can find you among all the other guys and not have to say, "Um, could you guys all turn to the left right now so that I can see the side of your face? 'Kay thanks."

9. It's one thing to post a picture of yourself with a cardboard cutout of a celebrity. It's NOT a good idea to post a picture of yourself with a cardboard cutout of Nicki Minaj, cupping her breasts. (I swear I'm not making that one up.)

I joined Tinder a couple days ago. Now that I'm more or less settled in College Town, I'm ready to start dating again. I chose Tinder because years ago, I already tried the other major dating sites: okcupid, eharmony, match.com, chemistry.com, and plentyoffish (on that site, some loser offered to be my "financial benefactor", even though I never said ANYTHING in my profile about wanting money from my dates, which I DON'T).

It seems like Tinder is the big dating app these days, though I've heard that it primarily started out as a hookup app. On the other hand, I know two women from Small Town who met their boyfriends on Tinder, and one of them is still with him, a year later. I figure that I'll give it a shot, at least for a few weeks.

On Tinder, you're shown a bunch of pictures from guys' profiles, and unlike the other dating sites, the guys don't typically write much (or anything) in their profiles. I did write a short bio in my profile (where I also indicated that I was not looking for a hookup), and I always pay more attention if the guy actually makes an effort to write something. You can swipe right if you like someone, or swipe left if you don't. If you and the person you like both swipe right, then Tinder lets you know that you made a match. Then you're left to instant message each other. You can only message people that you match with.

So far, I've gotten twelve matches and exchanged messages with five of them. But I'm not sure yet if they'll lead to anything. As I've learned in the past, just because someone shows interest in you on an online dating site, it doesn't necessarily mean you'll get to go on a date with him. Of course, I'll keep you all updated either way. Fingers crossed...

Have any of you ever tried Tinder, or do you know anyone who has?

19 comments:

  1. Good for you for trying something new. I haven't done online dating yet. I hope you find a nice few guys.

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    1. Hi Murees,
      Thanks! If you're interested in online dating, you could try the Bumble app. I haven't tried it yet but a friend of mine did; she said that what makes it unique is that men can't contact women unless women contact them first. I'm going to try it if Bumble doesn't work out.

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  2. I don't think I'd ever try Tinder, but I did try eHarmony. LOL And I was surprised at how many guys had profile pictures of themselves next to a girl who they tried to crop out. Umm...really?

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    1. Hi Chrys,
      Haha! I've seen pictures like that, including one that may or may not have been a guy's wedding picture with his (ex?) bride cropped out of it. But at least they included pictures; I still don't fully understand why so many guys do not include pictures of themselves in their profiles.

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  3. At the very least, you'll get some great stories to share with us. But hopefully, you meet someone great. Good luck, and enjoy :-)

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    1. Hi Annalisa,
      Thanks! I must admit that one of my reasons for trying Tinder was because it would give me something new to write about; I've never tried Tinder before, after all. So far it's definitely very different from the other dating sites I've tried, but jury's still out on whether it'll work for me.

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  4. Looking forward to reading about your experience on Tinder!

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    1. Hi Romance Reader,
      Thanks! And I'll definitely be blogging about it; I've been on Tinder for less than a week and I already have several things to write about. :)

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  5. I actually met my wife on match.com and we've been married 11 years, so there's at least one success story there. No Tinder back then. Hopefully it goes well for you!

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    1. Hi Nick,
      Thanks! And that's wonderful that match.com worked out for you and your wife; when I tried it, I ended up dating guys who were better at writing interesting e-mails than making conversation in person.

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  6. All of that seems like good sense-- who would want a guy who would put a picture in of himself with another girl?

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    1. Hi blackandwhitepublishingco,
      I know, right? And I also saw one profile where the guy had pictures of himself wearing a wedding ring, though he said that he was single. He might actually be telling the truth, but the wedding ring was the first thing that caught my attention.

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  7. LOL that sounds like common sense, but apparently sense ain't that common.

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    1. Hi Misha,
      Tell me about it! The one that bugs me the most are profiles without pictures (they probably have girlfriends or as one other commenter previously suggested, are "just looking"), but common sense would tell them that they're more likely to get responses if they post at least one picture of themselves.

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  8. Your list is so funny and brought back memories of the various dating sites I've tried. I haven't tried Tinder as I got to the point where I couldn't stand the thought of trying another site. I hope you will enjoy it and even better meet a good match. Either way I'm sure you will end up with great stories. :)

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    1. Hi Julie,
      Thank you! And I know what you mean; I didn't have a good experience with the last two dating sites I tried (plentyoffish and match.com), which is partly why I took a long break from dating. And I definitely have a lot to write about; I would have posted about it this week but I've actually been busy messaging matches on Tinder and I've gone on some dates too. :)

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  9. Oh my. Truthfully? If I was looking for someone to date, I'd go through church or recommendations from friends--people who know my expectations. I was the one matching all my friends up on dates way back in the day, so it only makes sense that I didn't last long in the dating market. I set my brother up with his wife. That was my big win. Of course, that was back before the internet exploded. I hope Tinder works out. Seriously! I hope you find someone fabulous, and that in the meant time, you have a ton of fun.

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    1. Hi Crystal,
      I did try meeting people through church; years ago, I joined a youth group made up of 20-somethings my age and ended up falling for a really great guy. Unfortunately, he fell for someone else in that same group. I wish you could be my matchmaker; it sounds like you're really good at it. And thanks! I've met some interesting people, and it actually has been kind of fun.

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  10. Oh, is *that* how it works? Neat idea for an app. Good luck!

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