So I've been thinking about rejoining okcupid. It probably won't be for another month at least, because online dating (and just dating in general) takes up a lot of time that I don't have right now. I also can't help thinking of all the pros and cons of online dating.
CON: Thinking of all the guys I met and didn't like makes me dread the thought of another bad first date.
PRO: Since it's summer, there are more date options, like watching movies in Grant Park or going to a neighborhood festival.
CON: Since it's summer, that means I'll wear a short-sleeved/sleeveless top on the date. That also means that it'll look a lot more conspicuous when I keep checking my watch if my date's favorite topic turns out to be himself.
PRO: If I rejoin okcupid, it won't cost me anything since this dating site is free.
CON: Going on dates can be expensive. Two of the guys I had coffee dates with waited until after I'd paid for my coffee before they came up to meet me for our dates.
PRO: It's fun to get interesting e-mails from nice guys who want to date me.
CON: It is not fun to get e-mails that say stuff like, "Your profile says that you're Catholic. Exactly how Catholic are you?" and "My ex-girlfriend was a total drama queen, so hopefully you're not like her," and "Is there any part of your body that's not real? Just checking, haha! But seriously?"
PRO: Even if online dating doesn't work out, at least it gives me material that I can use in my writing, as several people who have read my blog have pointed out to me.
CON: Speaking of material, I should probably come up with new excuses if I end up on dates with guys I don't like. Excuses like "I think I'm going to be leaving the country and I have no idea when or if I'll be back," and "I want to have kids and I'm thirty years old, so I need to get pregnant really soon," and "I don't really feel like going out for drinks. Want to go shoe shopping with me instead?" might not always work. So I need to come up with new excuses to end the date early, just in case.
To be honest, I kind of like being single right now. I like not cringing when I read my e-mail; I like not spending too much time reading profiles. I like being able to do what I want on my time off, instead of setting aside time for dates that go nowhere.
But on the other hand, I do want to fall in love, get married, and have a family someday. I don't know if any of that will ever happen for me, but I haven't given up hope yet.
What do you think? In your opinion, what are the pros/cons of dating and/or being single?
I'm one of those people who parade as a realist whilst keeping the hopeless romantic gagged and drugged in the basement.
ReplyDeleteI think that dating is wonderful, it makes you feel like you don't repel people, that you're interesting and people are interested in you. But I, like you, enjoy being single - for the moment.
I think there's a time and a place for everything, and if you're enjoying your single life at the moment then I think you should ride it out till you're absolutely desperate to be back on the dating scene.
I'm one of the few people I know that hasn't tried online dating yet. It's not that I'm afraid of it - it just seems like a big headache. Love is one of those things you can't force. In my experience, the perfect date always seems to come along when I've gotten myself to a place where I'm content to be single.
ReplyDeleteBut anyway, if you do chose to get okcupid, good luck and I look forward to reading your stories!
Hi Elaine,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice! I think I will put off online dating for a while, because it's one less thing to worry about. But I keep hoping that I'll find a guy who is fun to be with, so I'll try again eventually.
Hi lalalalauren,
Thanks! I was reluctant to try online dating at first too. But it's difficult for me to meet guys, since most of the people in my graduate program are either women or in relationships. Online dating gives me the opportunity to meet people I might not have met otherwise.
But online dating can definitely be a headache sometimes; it's been stressful for me in the past. I just hope that it'll be worth it in the end.
Well, I met my husband online (Craigslist, actually) so I'm a little biased.
ReplyDeleteBut I definitely had to work my way through a lot of bad dates (aka hilarious stories). Like the guy who said that he thought I was attractive. I said thanks and, less than three minutes later, cracked up when he said, "I mean I'm not looking for MODEL pretty..."
He didn't understand why women might find that offensive. Luckily, I wasn't very into him, so it just went into my "funny story" repertoire instead of my "asshole date" file.
Hi Abigail,
ReplyDeleteThat guy sounds like a jerk. Unfortunately, I've met guys like him, the kind who don't think about what they're going to say before they say it. I once went on a date with a guy who insulted me because he thought I wasn't dressed up enough for the date. But on the other hand, guys like them help us to figure out what we don't want.
"Exactly how Catholic are you?" That's such a loaded question!
ReplyDeleteWhat amazes me is the guys who waited until after you paid for your coffee. Whew, that's cheap!
It's good that you're enjoying your solitude right now. You can get more writing done.
Hi notesfromnadir,
ReplyDeleteI think that if I was doing the online dating thing right now, the only stuff I'd be writing would be e-mails to potential dates. Online dating can be very distracting. But it has given me an idea for a new story, so that's something.
I'm never sure what to answer when it comes to that Catholic question. It's not like I expect the guy to have the same beliefs as I do, though it is nice if he does.
You should set up a caffeine fund on your sidebar!
ReplyDeleteSome of your cons made me laugh.
As a married person, I can say that I miss the independence I had. It's not like I'm chained or anything. But it's not the same when you don't have to answer to anyone. Kids make me even more accountable for my time.
Then again, my husband is willing to fork over some hard cash for coffee dates.
Hi Theresa,
ReplyDeleteA caffeine fund would be awesome; maybe I could set up an M&M fund too. :)
Once or twice I suggested getting coffee after going out for dinner with a guy; I was never sure whether I should pay for the coffee since I suggested it, especially if the guy already paid for dinner.
I agree with the caffeine sidebar fund! If Julie from Julie/Julia can do it, so can you!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I tagged you in a game of blogger tag today. No tag-backs!
Hi Anna,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tag! It'll give me something to write about for my next blog post, which will go up next week. I plan to catch up on blogging now that my summer job is going to be over soon.
It would be awesome to do a caffeine sidebar fund. Then I'd have more money to buy pizza that isn't frozen. :)
My experience with online dating has been ... well, worthy of writing a book. I've had a lot of guys offer and/or expect sex, a lot of people pretending to be someone they're not, and in general, a lot of ... awkwardness and creepiness.
ReplyDeleteI'm still a "member" of eHarmony, but I'm hoping that reality pans out soon, because this online thing is just ... crawkward ;)
Your pros/cons are totally legit, though :-)
Hi KLo,
ReplyDeleteYou should totally write a book about online dating; I think it would be interesting to read about other people's perspectives on it.
I was on eharmony for a few months, and theoretically they matched me with guys who were compatible with me. I say theoretically because I didn't connect with the guys I went on dates with.