The Blame Game

Dear Professor,
  I just wanted you to know that if I don't get at least a B in this class, my parents won't pay for my tuition anymore. I really don't want to have to drop out of school and flip burgers for the rest of my life just because of your class. I just thought you should know about my situation.

Dear Professor,
  I hope that my grade won't be lowered just because I was absent for three weeks. I think my absences shouldn't count against my grade because I always had a good excuse for not being in class. It's not my fault if my alarm clock doesn't work. And besides, as long as I get the homework done, does it really matter if I'm in class?

Dear Professor,
  I'm writing to let you know that I'm going to report you to the department chair if you don't raise my grade. You weren't always clear in your instructions to the class, so that's why I didn't do very well in my assignments.

Dear Professor,
  I don't think you calculated my grade correctly. It really shouldn't be that low. I didn't buy the textbook for this class, but I got most of the information from Wikipedia. That's pretty much the same, isn't it?

Dear Professor,
  Did I get a C because I was sleeping in class? I wasn't really sleeping. I was just concentrating with my eyes closed.

At the end of the term, I always get a handful of "grade complaint" e-mails from students who are so SHOCKED because they didn't get the stellar grades they felt they were entitled to. (What really bugs me is when they say, "You didn't give me the grade I deserved." Hearing that makes me want to go out and steal someone's snowman.)

I always write detailed feedback on their assignments, and I talk to students regularly about their progress in my classes. That way, there are no surprises at the end of the semester. Nevertheless, I still get grade complaint e-mails from students who are always convinced that I did something wrong. What bothers me is they don't take responsibility for their own work (or lack thereof).

When I was in college, I got a D on a major math test. Although I excelled in my English classes, I was so bad at math that the sight of a calculator was enough to make me run away screaming. I went to my math professor for help and set up extra appointments to go over stuff in class that I was struggling with. I also got help from math tutors, and I spent hours on my homework. By the end of the semester, I ended up with a B as my final grade.

And fortunately, I do have some students who are like this. They try hard, and they ask me, "What can I do to raise my grade?" and not "I think you made a mistake with my grade." (But I do hear that statement a lot.) When students ask me the first question, it shows that they're taking responsibility for themselves and that they're taking the initiative to work hard and earn good grades. And that is something.

I'd like to say that I never played the blame game. But I have, and sometimes I still do. For example, I've been feeling upset lately because I haven't made as much progress on my dissertation as I should have by now. It would be easier to place the blame on anyone else but myself.

"It's not my fault I didn't finish a draft of my dissertation. The department puts a lot of pressure on the graduate students to accomplish a lot of things in a limited amount of time."

"I couldn't work on my draft. I had to go to the gym every other day, and it's important to work on my health. Going to the gym had NOTHING to do with all the cute guys who work out there. I barely even notice them."

"How could I do research when I had appointments with students, papers to grade and classes to teach? I can't just ignore my students, because how are they supposed to learn if I don't teach them? Not to mention I don't want to end up on one of those rate your professor websites. Again."

"Since I don't earn enough to live on as an instructor, I had all these extra projects to complete for my website job. What, am I just supposed to tell my employer no? I do that and I lose that extra paycheck."

"I can't help it if I didn't get as much work done as I could have. I've been working on a very intricate plot to rule the world, and I should be able to carry it out within the next two years or so. I've been busy."

It would be very easy to blame anyone or anything but myself. And sometimes things really were beyond my control. But one thing I've learned about growing up is that I have to accept responsibility for my mistakes and not blame them on someone else. Like I wrote in an earlier post, I can't make excuses, and I can't keep blaming other people. How else will I learn from my mistakes, so that I can get it right the next time around?