Looks Matter

I don't get excited anymore when I start communicating with a new guy on eharmony, because so many guys have disappeared by the time we got to the third phase of communication, which consists of open-ended questions and comes right before regular e-mails. I was communicating with one guy this week, and surprise, surprise! He disappeared by the third phase. This is the TENTH time this has happened!

This picture accurately describes how I feel right now:

Another thing that is bugging me about online dating is the large number of guys who don't post any pictures on their profiles; instead, they'll put "request photo" where their pictures should be. Interestingly enough, many of these guys describe themselves as "physically fit".

I started a discussion forum a few days ago on 20 Something Bloggers about whether looks matter in dating, and I asked if anyone would respond to a personal ad without a picture. Pretty much everyone said no, and I have to agree with them. As I've stated in an earlier post, no physical attraction is pretty much a dealbreaker for me.

A couple people on the forum, though, were critical of me. One guy said, "How is this even a question?", which made me feel bad about asking. But I think that it is important, because everyone has their own ideas about physical attraction, and not all of those ideas match up with each other. Another guy criticized me for not putting my own picture up on my blog, but I think that there's a big difference between putting a picture of myself on my blog and putting one up on my dating profile. And I have several pictures of myself on my profile, and I told him so. Although what I really wanted to do was get a wooden mallet and...No. I can't do that.

Anyway, looks aren't everything, but they do matter to some extent. Yes, personality is more important, because even the best-looking guy can turn ugly if he does something like treat a waiter rudely or flirt with another girl on our date.

But let's be honest. When you see someone walking down the street, you don't think, "I bet that person is very honest and funny!" No. You think, "Nice hair," or "Nice eyes", or "Okay, I think I'm going to pass out now, because DAMN!"

What do I find attractive? It's hard to say. I like to think that you don't get to choose who you fall for; it just happens. On the one hand, I do think George Clooney is cute.

But then again, who doesn't? (And if you think he isn't cute, I'm afraid I'll have to get out my wooden mallet again.)

But on the other hand, I also think Justin Long is cute, and he's pretty much the opposite of George Clooney.

And there are a lot more guys who look like Justin Long in real life than George Clooney. And frankly, it's not like I look like Heidi Klum either.

But if I look at a picture on an online profile and feel the urge to run in the opposite direction, then I figure I should keep looking. I do read through each profile, but I've found that the guys who don't put up any pictures of themselves don't have a lot of information written on their profiles either. The guys who do have pictures up often will write several paragraphs worth of details about themselves, and those are interesting to read. But the guys who don't have pictures will use just a few words to describe themselves, and I have to say that in this case, less is not more.