The (Un)Real Me

Chemistry.com is similar to eharmony in that members are required to fill out a long questionnaire before signing up. But to the best of my knowledge, chemistry.com has never rejected any prospective members like eharmony has. Eharmony says it's because the person's answers supposedly make it more difficult to find that person a suitable match on the site. I think that getting rejected from an online dating site can be disheartening (fortunately, that didn't happen to me); they might as well say, "You're just going to be SINGLE FOREVER! You will NEVER be in one of our commercials, so just GIVE UP NOW!"

I don't really remember most of the questions on Chemistry's personality test, but they were mainly stuff like "How do you organize your socks?" and "What kinds of vampire methods do you prefer in the bedroom?" (I am not making those questions up. Maybe the second question is meant to show how the website is open to everyone, including people who drink blood and sleep in coffins.)

After you take the test, the website assigns you a personality type. There are several personality types, according to chemistry.com, including Builder, Negotiator, Explorer, and Director. According to the website, I am a Builder. Although Builder is my "dominant personality type", my "secondary type" (meaning I also show elements of it, not that I have another personality like Sybil does) is Explorer. There's even a full-page description that defines my personality. It's actually accurate in many ways.

For example, chemistry.com tells me, "You are detail oriented. You follow the rules. And you tend to respect customs and traditions." I think that being detail oriented comes with being a writing teacher. My job training means that I grieve over grammatical errors, wringing my hands and sobbing, "Does NO ONE proofread anymore?"

I do follow the rules most of the time, because I don't want to end up on Cops and have a bunch of police officers and cameramen chasing me through parking lots while I throw things at them. On the other hand, if someone cuts in front of me in line, then all bets are off because then they're just asking to...Hmmm. I guess I shouldn't finish that sentence.

The website also says that I am "popular" and that I have "people skills". That's true, especially because I now know how to curse out inconsiderate drivers (especially the ones talking on their cell phones) in three languages. Chemistry also says that my friendships are important to me and that I spend time "developing and nurturing these social networks". Actually, I've lost more than one friend because I spend more time working than I do socializing. It might also be because not a lot of other people want to receive dictionaries for their birthdays. (But it's such a practical gift, and an educational one! I mean, who wouldn't want to be able to use words like "balderdash" in everday conversation?)

A Builder also has a "spontaneous side", which is true for me. On the rare occasions I go to my favorite restaurant, I order the same thing every time (why spend money on something you've never tried before, especially when you could end up throwing up in front of other customers?). I arrange my work schedule so that I can watch new episodes of Criminal Minds every week. I've had the same haircut for four years. I usually wear dark colors so that if I spill food or coffee on myself it'll be less noticeable and then people won't recommend that I start wearing bibs.

Okay. So maybe I'm not that spontaneous. But the other day when the barista at Starbucks asked if I wanted to upgrade my usual order of a grande Frappuccino to a venti for just fifty cents more, I said yes. And if that's not spontaneous, I don't know what is!

What do you think of personality tests? Do you think that despite all their differences, people can actually be categorized according to personality types?