Inside Jokes in Academia

Today I went to a conference for English teachers. I didn't really want to go, but my department said it was mandatory, which is the academics' way of saying, "You have to do it or you will get whapped in the head with a giant eraser."

The conference consisted of several workshops and lectures, with such fascinating topics like "The History of the Comma," "The Sins of Syntax," and "Why the 5-Paragraph Form is the Devil's Work".

I was tired and grumpy about being there, so I was really only half-listening to the discussions. While everyone was eagerly asking questions and taking notes, I was concentrating on sleeping with my eyes open.

The speakers made several jokes, most of which I didn't get but which everyone else thought were hilarious. It felt like the time I went to a Star Trek movie and sat stone-faced while all the Trekkies laughed at the inside jokes.

I felt a little hypocritical, because I often scold my students for not paying attention during class, but I wasn't paying much attention to what was going on. Here are a few samples of what I got out of it:

Speaker: And so according to Professor Blah Blah, the discourse of the blah blah blah....

Audience: Hahahahahaha!

Me: I wonder if it actually is possible to die of boredom.

Speaker: Blah blah blah and he thought he was supposed to use a semicolon, but he was actually supposed to use a comma!

Audience: Hahahahahaha!

Me: Oh, to be a fly on the wall of this room. Then I could fly on out of here.

Speaker: Blah blah pedagogy blah blah the art of writing research papers is truly blah blah blah.

Audience member: When I taught at another school, everyone blah blah and it was all MY idea and blah blah and all my students LOVED it and blah blah blah.

Me: That is the SEVENTH time that person has spoken up this HOUR. I know you're in love with the sound of your voice, dude, but COME ON.

Going to conferences is part of the academic package. But although I definitely recognize the value of learning from experienced teachers, I can honestly say that I've learned the most about teaching from my students. Being in the classroom with them taught me what works and what doesn't. I think it's a little like learning how to speak a foreign language. It's one thing to learn from a textbook and lectures; it's another thing altogether to live in the country where the language is spoken.