Wednesday, August 2, 2017

When a Troll Is Someone You Know

Recently I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and came across a post from a former high school classmate of mine who'd served in the military. They wrote about President Chump's (oops, I meant President Trump. Or DID I?) ban on transgender people in the military.

HS Classmate wrote a long post about how they felt the ban was fair and the right thing to do, and listed all the reasons that transgender people deserved to be discriminated against. They argued that transgender people belonged in mental institutions, not the military.

I learned from firsthand experience that it's never a good idea to argue with people on the Internet. But this time I couldn't hold my tongue. I wrote on HS Classmate's post that it wasn't fair to discriminate against people, that they weren't mentally ill, and that they deserved to be treated with respect.

I thought of the transgender people I'd met in Chicago, who were funny, kind, talented, and beautiful. I thought of the transgender student in my class this year, who confided in me about how they'd been kicked out of their house by their parents after coming out as transgender. I thought of the transgender people who sang and danced on floats in the Pride Parade in Chicago and how no one there made them feel ashamed for being who they were.

But HS Classmate kept ranting about transgender people. When I shared an article on FB that discredited several of the claims they made about them, they filled up my Facebook page with several condescending retorts and more lengthy rants. I informed HS Classmate that no matter what they said or posted, they would never change my mind.

HS Classmate claimed that they had a right to their beliefs, and several of their FB friends agreed with them and joined in on attacking my comments that defended transgender soldiers and insulted me personally, though they'd never met me. HS Classmate didn't tell them to back off, of course, but seemed to revel in the attention.

I know that everyone has a right to their beliefs, including that person. But I still think it's wrong to use your beliefs as justification to discriminate against other people and deny them rights that they should be (and are) entitled to.

Now that I'm moving to College Town, I'll be living just a few hours away from the small Midwestern hometown where I grew up, where this person still lives. It's possible I'll run into them, and I'm willing to bet that they'll try to get me to talk about this. If they do, I'll say this:

"You have a right to your beliefs, and I have a right to mine. For example, my belief is that you're a Trump-supporting, InfoWars believing, Breitbart reading, conspiracy theory spouting, gay bashing, transgender hating BIGOT who's never been discriminated against a day in your life and is so threatened by people who aren't exactly like you that you feel the need to try to control them and put them down for being who they are. But again, that's just my opinion. So, how've you been since high school?"

One of my other high school classmates asked this person what impact transgender soldiers had had on their service in the military when they were on active duty. But HS Classmate didn't respond, perhaps because they didn't have a valid response to it.

The whole thing made me angry, and I unfollowed (but did not unfriend) this person on Facebook. If and when I do see them again and if they argue with me about this issue again, I might "accidentally" spill a hot beverage on them and/or "accidentally" make them trip and fall. But I digress.

What about you? How do you deal with people whose political views differ from your own?"

12 comments:

  1. Uggggggggggggh seeing that would piss me off so much. I've never personally encountered anyone spewing that viewpoint which is good because I'm not very good at confrontation. Actually I did end up unfollowing a blogger because his posts actually started to make my blood boil. I left a comment that tried not to be confrontational but still stating the fact that I was angry, but it honestly didn't make me feel better because I wanted to say worse things (with swears. lots of them). I had a feeling doing that would just give him more fuel. But I unfollowed his blog after that because I just did not need these posts popping up on my feed pissing me off all the time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sarah,
      I know what you mean; I was definitely pissed off by what HS Classmate wrote, and it still bothers me now. But you're right about giving people like that more fuel. That's why I stopped responding to this person's posts, though it was clear they wanted to continue the debate. I think that it's admirable that this person served in the military, but that doesn't give them the right to say that transgender people shouldn't serve; it bothered me that they believed in all these stereotypes but didn't mention ever having met a transgender person or sat down and talked to one of them.

      Delete
  2. To be honest, I avoid people who discriminate against others, or those with extreme political views. I don't want anything to do with them. I'm negative all on my own, I don't need other's bad vibe too. I'm proud of you for standing up. Sorry they attacked you online. You stood up for those that couldn't defend themselves in that argument. I applaud you. If you run into that person again, refer them to a good psychologist. Clearly they have deeper issues. Wishing you well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Murees,
      You're not negative! And thanks for your support, as always. One reason I'm facing my next move with a little trepidation is because several of those people who insulted me online live in that area, including HS classmate. But I don't plan on socializing with them, so at least there's that. I think that today's political climate has been especially controversial, largely because the President has deliberately stirred up tension, though I think it was simmering below the surface for a long time.

      Delete
  3. I dislike confrontation, so I tend to avoid discussing politics etc on social media. It feels, as you noted yourself, that the opinions have less importance than the attention received. If I felt someone was being hurt by prejudice, I'd speak up

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Annalisa,
    Actually, not long after I posted my comments on HS Classmate's page, another former classmates sent me a message thanking me for what I wrote; this person is part of the GLBT community and didn't like that other person's homophobic posts either.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have found myself spending less and less time on FB for this very reason. I am like Annalisa and really hate confrontation so I end up unfollowing people more often than not. I can't deal with the discriminatory or extreme political posts. Kudos to you for standing up to this poster!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Julie,
      Thanks! The political posts from various FB friends are one reason I dislike FB; I can't deal with them either. We get enough (in fact, too much) political news from TV and online news sites. I don't like confrontation either; that's why I chose not to become a lawyer, which is a career I originally considered before teaching.

      Delete
  6. I actually do unfollow and unfriend people. Usually, I'm a live and let live sort of person, but the rise of the orange one has led to an increase in bitterness and anger on both sides, and I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Misha,
      I like your phrase, "the rise of the orange one". :) You're right about him too. I don't think there's ever been another president that's been this controversial. And he's impossible to ignore, it seems, especially because despite the media's contempt for him, they continue to provide news about him 24/7. Of course, he never fails to provide endless material for the news.

      Delete
  7. I find it very weird and frustrating that this
    "I still think it's wrong to use your beliefs as justification to discriminate against other people and deny them rights that they should be (and are) entitled to" isn't a given for everybody. What are these people so threatened by that they need to put down other human beings? It's mindboggling and very scary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Deniz,
      I know, right? I don't know why these people feel threatened. My high school classmate who was trolling Facebook with those bigoted posts claimed that they thought transgender soldiers were "mentally ill," which is why they thought they shouldn't be serving in the military. But I'm willing to bet that they've never actually sat down and talked to a transgender person or tried to get to know one; HS Classmate would rather rely on prejudice and bigotry to form their opinions instead.

      Delete