Snubbed

When I first moved to Small Town, I didn't know anyone there or even anyone who lived in that entire state. That's why I was very grateful to Small Town Guy, who introduced me to his circle of friends. They have all been very kind and welcoming to me. We regularly go out for dinner together, or we hang out at a bar in town. Whenever it's someone's birthday, we either throw a party for that person at someone's house or take them out to dinner.

Recently, a person new to Small Town joined the group. I'll refer to her as New Girl. She is attractive, successful, and only a few years younger than me. I thought it would be nice if we became friends. 

But every single time I've tried to talk to her, she moved to talk to someone else within minutes or even seconds. For example, last weekend I attended a party at someone's house. New Girl was there, and I sat down beside her and struck up a conversation. I barely said three sentences to her before she quickly got up and stood next to someone else on the other side of the room.

I don't expect her or anyone else to spend the entire time talking to me, or even half the time, and it's not like I follow her around all the time, because I don't. Still, it would be nice to have a conversation that lasts more than a couple minutes (or in this case, more than thirty seconds). I wondered if maybe I had done something to offend her. It's not like I told her about how I can name any Britney Spears song in five notes or less. I didn't tell her about all the times that I deliberately sneezed and/or coughed on people who cut in front of me. I didn't tell her about how I wish I could put Kick Me signs on the backs of Trump supporters. 

Instead, I was friendly and polite to her, and I asked her questions about herself. But she acted like she didn't want to talk to me. New Girl does not, however, act like this with anyone else in the group, at least not from what I can tell. She is also very friendly to Small Town Guy. 

I arrived at the party after they did, so I can't be sure, but I am fairly certain that they came to the party together. Maybe he just gave her a ride, or maybe she came as his date; either way, I found myself clenching my fists under the table. I haven't harbored any feelings for Small Town Guy in a long time. I've accepted the fact that he and I will always just be friends.

It's not like I listen to Adele's songs in my spare time, weeping, "Her lyrics just speak to me!" Instead, I listen to country songs like this one (hey, I live in the South now, and I'm about three "y'alls" away from driving a pickup truck):


Months ago, when I first developed feelings for him, somehow I knew it wouldn't end the way I wanted it to. I thought that was just my low self-esteem talking, but maybe it was my heart's way of telling me that he wasn't the one.

Still, the idea of him with someone else, especially someone like her, stung a little.

From now on, I will not snub New Girl (the way it feels like she's snubbed me) or be mean to her. Maybe I'm wrong about her. Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive. But on the other hand, I won't go out of my way to talk to her anymore. If she's not interested in talking to me or being friends with me, that's her prerogative. But at the same time, being around her reminded me of being around some of the girls from high school. That night at the party, I felt like the wallflower I was back then, when my classmates voted me "Most Likely to Become a Nun."

What about you? Have you ever dealt with someone that all of your friends liked but whom you were unsure about? Have you ever dealt with someone who snubbed you?