Sunday, July 31, 2016

The Worst Day

I haven't blogged in a while because I've been dealing with a lot of problems, one of which included calling 911 for help.

One day I decided to get takeout after several days of my own cooking. It was raining hard when I went out, but I'd driven through thunderstorms before and thought it would be okay. I was wrong.

When I drove out onto the main road, it quickly became flooded, to the point that it was like driving through a river. I tried to pull into a parking lot, but all of a sudden my car stalled. Then my car started filling up with water. I tried to open a door, but even more water rushed in.

Meanwhile, the car kept weaving back and forth in the water. I was afraid that other cars might hit it. I kept thinking of those movies where the main character is trapped in some kind of container and the water keeps rising. I got so scared that I called 911 for help. A cop showed up a few minutes later, and she and another guy literally had to pull me out the window and help me across the street.

Once the water levels decreased, a tow truck driver brought my car to the dealership. I had to call my insurance company, who sent an adjuster out to look at the car. He said that the car was totaled and I would have to get a new one.

I spoke to my mother on the phone several times, and she kept berating me. She said that this was karma for the fact that I was a bad person.

My father was not as angry, but now he tries to micromanage my driving. For example, I have to drive out to their state (a nearly ten hour round trip) for the second time this summer to take care of their dogs while they travel. He keeps calling to tell me when and where I should drive, even though the last time I followed his instructions, the trip took two hours longer than it should have.

He said that I didn't have a right to be upset over driving there again. My father claimed that the fact that I have had to go to their state several times a year to take care of their dogs, give up my school breaks, take unpaid time off from my jobs (and lose a lot of money in the process) was nothing compared to the sacrifices that he and my mother made over the years.

A few days after I got a new car (the same kind, only a newer model), I was backing out of a parking space at the bank and accidentally hit a car that was driving out. (If I was in a cartoon, that would have been the moment I took out a sledgehammer and hit myself over the head with it.) The other driver was nice about it (but let's see how nice she is if and when she files an insurance claim), but she ended up with a small dent in her door and I got a small scratch on my bumper.

To make matters worse, someone apparently took pictures and a video of me being pulled out of my car window during the flood. They not only posted it on Facebook but it ended up in the local paper, so that random people in Small Town keep asking me, "Was that you?"

I have, however, learned several things from this. One is to always check the forecast and make sure there are no flash flood warnings. Two is to always be careful in parking lots and when driving in general. And three is to accept the fact that although they did help me with the down payment for my new car (which I appreciate, and which I will repay), I cannot rely on my parents for emotional support. They reacted the same way when I was hospitalized two years ago: they berated me, blamed me (my doctors said it wasn't my fault), and tried to micromanage my treatment (if I'd followed their advice and not my doctors', I would have needed brain surgery and possibly gone blind).

I am an adult and will not allow them to control me, though that doesn't stop them from trying. My mother keeps reminding me about how the Bible says that children should honor their parents. But I think that I deserve respect too, and I refuse to bow down to either of them.

What about you? Have you ever gotten in a car accident or had to call 911?

18 comments:

  1. Ughhh that's so scary! Glad you got out of that ok. Floods are no joke! (Sorry about everyone's reaction...people are dumb.)

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    1. Hi Gia,
      There was another flash flood warning recently, so I stayed home rather than try driving again. I still get nervous when it starts raining when I'm out on the road.

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  2. Sorry you've had such a horrible time. Glad you're okay, and help arrived quickly :-)

    As this is an anonymous blog, I feel safe saying this (and if I overstep the mark, please feel free to remove this comment), but your parents do not sound like nice people. They should be the first to offer you comfort and sympathy, especially at a time when you are probably still shaken by what's happened. You do so much for them (re the unpaid leave and breaks) and they seem to just expect it. I would love for you to one day have a rock solid reason (or lie, a big fat solid lie) why you cannot help them.

    Again, apologies if this oversteps the mark.

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    1. Hi Annalisa,
      You're not overstepping at all! You're right about my parents. I think it's one of the reasons I became a Type A neurotic workaholic. I was always careful to avoid mistakes, because I knew that if I made a mistake it would be over-analyzed and over-criticized for years to come. I've tried to accept that they will never change, but it still makes me angry sometimes. Other people asked if I was okay after the flood; my parents did not.

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  3. Just curious, why do you put up with your parents' shit? Why do you have to dog-sit for them? You owe nothing to them and I think it's selfish of them to remind you of how much they sacrificed for you. They made you after all. It's not like you asked to be born. My parents sound a lot like yours except I set the terms or our relationship a long time ago. I refuse to be pushed around. Currently, I'm taking a break from them and I feel better than ever.

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    1. Hi nomdeplume,
      Sometimes I wish I could take a break too, but I know that they would just keep calling and/or show up at my door. They know that I love their dogs, so they keep trying to make me feel guilty if I say I can't go there. I just think it's unfair that they've done a lot of traveling over the years, and I've hardly gone anywhere.

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    2. You don't have to answer the phone and the door can be locked!

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    3. Hi Annalisa,
      Trust me, that wouldn't be enough to stop them.

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  4. I agree with Annalisa. I would suggest you set boundaries. You're an adult with your own life and if you don't want them pushing you around, you don't have to take it. Just because they're your parents doesn't mean they're exempt from common decency. Respect has to be earned. My mom has spent her entire life bending to her own mother's will and now she's unhappy and resentful. You deserve better than to end up that way. Your first obligation is to yourself. :)

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    1. Hi nomdeplume,
      Thanks for the advice. They wanted me to take time off from my job this past school year so that I could take care of their dogs again. But for once I said no, because this was a new job and I wanted to make a good impression on my employers. If they had their way in everything, I'd be pursuing the career they wanted for me and married to the guy they liked (a guy I never liked).

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  5. That flooding incident is so scary! I have nightmares about that kind of thing. I'm glad you're okay. You were smart to call 911 when you did.

    I wish I could take your parents' heads and knock them together. At least they'll be gone when you're spending time with the doggies. It sucks when you realize your parents' limitations. Just keep reminding yourself that they're the ones w/ the problem, not you. Hey, maybe while you're there, you can print out lines of scripture that talk about kindness and compassion and set them around the house, in drawers, etc., for them to come across in the weeks after you leave.

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    1. Hi Nicki,
      According to my parents, I'm the one with the problem, which is why they always feel the need to "correct" me. My mother sends me lines from the Bible occasionally, though they're not about kindness or compassion.
      I'm much more careful about driving now. If the weather looks bad, I stay home.

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  6. Yikes! Those are some pretty scary times. Lame parents. We do slave my oldest, but not intentionally. Actually, when I ask him to stop doing things for us, he complains. Guess he's just a good kid...and hopefully his siblings will follow in his footsteps. I hope you have another source for your emotional support. If not, here. *Offers a cheese prop*

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    1. Hi Crystal,
      More moms should be like you. :) I think that my parents are partly why I started writing. My writing became an emotional outlet for me, because it was a place where I could finally express myself.

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  7. That sounds so scary. I would've been panicking. I'm glad you're okay. And the fact that you need a new car now is also horrible. I know how bad and stressful that can be, especially if you don't have the means.

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    1. Hi Chrys,
      I know, right? My car payments are higher now, and my insurance payments are going to go WAY up due to the car accident at the bank. I'm going to have to work more hours, sighhh....

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  8. I'm sorry you had to go through that and that your parents are so cold. Always remember, it is not your fault. Shit happens to everyone. You are not a bad person. You are always there for me to give an encouraging word, right when I need it most. You are awesome. I'm not a parent, but how I see it, children are a blessing. At least your parents still have each other. If you only had one parent left, yeah, I would understand the guilt trip. I had to call the South African version of 911 several times. Mostly because people kept trying to break into our house. I'm sending you plenty of hugs. Don't let all this crap get you down. Keep your head up.

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    1. Hi Murees,
      I appreciate your support; it helps. That's scary that people tried to break into your house. Ever since I started living alone after college, I always checked my locks twice. Even in Small Town, I still get nervous sometimes. And now I'm even more nervous about driving, but at least it's made me be extra careful on the road (and in parking lots).

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