When I was finishing my dissertation, I gave up writing almost everything else, including the novels and short stories I was working on. I didn't blog as often as before. Even when I went to coffeehouses, I didn't write in my journal like I used to; I immersed myself in cups of coffee and heavy library books.
Now that I'm finally done with my dissertation (insert joyful music from gospel choir here), it's hard to get back into the writing groove, which is one of the reasons I haven't been blogging as much. I go to coffeehouses to write, and instead find myself checking Twitter several times an hour, where I see Tweets like #CancelYourEngagementZayn, which was trending on Twitter yesterday (apparently some One Direction fans are irate that one of the members is engaged and think that acting like obsessive stalkers will make him break off his engagement and marry one of them, which would only happen on the bizarro planet that they live on). Other times I see Tweets from people ranting about whatever it is they're "offended" by at the moment (Tweets like that make me want to leave Twitter altogether).
Instead of writing, I often find myself making paper airplanes that I try very hard not to throw at the guys who blast videos from their cell phones. Or I roll my eyes at the hipsters with their ginormous headphones.
At home, I sit down at my laptop to write, and instead I check my e-mail to find yet another rejection letter from yet another school. It's been disheartening to be rejected by so many schools, though I know that for every one full-time, untenured faculty position available, there are at least a hundred (or two hundred) applicants vying for it. I feel discouraged, because I spent too many years in grad school. I lost almost everything else that mattered (my twenties, most of my friends, potential boyfriends), and now I feel like it was all for nothing.
There is one school here in Illinois that said they MIGHT hire me, but only if the budget allows it; they can't let me know anything for sure until the end of the month. In the meantime, instead of writing, I've been applying for part-time faculty jobs (the low pay worries me, because then I won't be able to pay my rent AND my minimum student loan payment each month). I've also been considering jobs in retail again (insert primal screaming here) if I can't find any adjunct jobs.
When my professors turned to me after I successfully defended my dissertation and said, "Congratulations, Doctor!" I didn't even feel relieved as I thought I would. I felt worried because I didn't have a job lined up yet.
So needless to say, I've been preoccupied. If I knew what was going to happen this fall, I could relax. But since I don't yet, I can't stop worrying.
At the same time, I still want to write. But it's been so long since I've worked on my fiction and creative nonfiction that it's hard to get back to writing it.
What about you? Have you ever taken a long break from writing? What kinds of things did you do to get back into the writing groove?
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3 days ago
Maybe working on some writing would help with the stress? Or at least be a distraction from the job hunting.
ReplyDeleteI've been out of my writing groove for a very long time (about 10 months I think). I have no idea how to get back into it. I've figured out a few things but it's hard to actually get back into writing/editing.
Hi Sarah,
DeleteOne thing that helps me is keeping my journal with me most of the time; I usually carry it in my purse. That way, if I see/hear anything weird/funny/interesting, I can write it down. Then I can use it as a writing prompt later. I got the idea from one of my former teachers.
Congrats on finishing your dissertation!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you need to unplug. Turn off your cell phone. Temporarily delete your Internet icon on your laptop (just don't empty the recycling bin) or hide it so you won't be tempted to click on it.
Good luck with your job search!
Hi Chrys,
DeleteThanks! And you're right about unplugging; I bet that writers who used typewriters got a lot more writing done, because they didn't have the Internet to distract them. That's why I prefer to write in my notebook in cafes, because I can focus on the blank page instead of Youtube, Twitter, etc.
To be honest, I'm not surprised you're struggling to write with the worry of everything else. It would be great to advise you to write as a distraction, but I know it wouldn't work for me. I think writing in your journal is a brilliant idea though, and might inspire something longer. Keep smiling, and keep applying :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Annalisa,
DeleteI figure that even if I don't find something good this year, it'll hopefully be better the next time I go on the academic job market, now that I have my Ph.D. It is hard to write with the fear of unemployment weighing down on me, but sometimes writing in my journal does help. And thanks for your advice! I appreciate it. :)
Congrats on finishing the dissertation!
ReplyDeleteHi Gia,
DeleteThank you!
Usually doing something completely opposite of writing helps me get back into the writing zone. I can't believe I'm actually suggesting this, but maybe a nice sweaty work-out would be a good distraction? Or, watch a ton of your favorite movies, just to relax and unwind. Creativity and stress don't play well together. Though, I do understand, who can relax when they're possibly facing unemployment. It sounds like you just need a bit of fun to distract you from reality for a few hours. Don't give up hope. A job will come along. Cheering for you!
ReplyDeleteHi Murees,
DeleteI have been working out more lately; when I was immersed in my dissertation, I wasn't able to go to the gym as often. Now, regular exercise does make me feel a little better. As far as fun goes, I did go to the Taste of Chicago today, which is a local food festival; that helped take my mind off things for a while. And thanks for the advice!
Congrats Doctor!!!!! That is fantastic! And don't worry about writing, your brain probably needs a nice healthy break. Read those fat library book and enjoy!
ReplyDeleteHi Libby,
DeleteThanks! I think I do need a break. And it will be nice to read something without dozens of footnotes in every chapter.
I'm praying that the Illinois job pans out for you. I remember you saying that you want to stay there.
ReplyDeleteAlso, congrats Doctor!
As for me, I've not written fiction since 1 May, because of my publishing efforts. So I do have a major writing slump to overcome in the near future.
Usually, I start by rereading my projects (to pick up the storylines again) and then set myself low daily writing goals that I increase the next month and the next until I'm back to my usual writing habits.
Hi Misha,
DeleteThank you! I appreciate it. I hope I do get the local job; unfortunately, I won't find out until the end of the month, though I keep anxiously checking my e-mail for any news, just in case.
I think I'll try your strategies. It's been a long time since I've read my manuscripts from start to finish, so maybe that'll get me inspired to write fiction again.
I had a forced break from writing for a couple of years, many years ago, when no ideas would come. I was scared, cos I worried that I'd lost the inner spring/talent for good. Luckily haven't had a dry spell like that since. Now I feel guilty about not editing every day! Writing itself comes easily, since I jot down ideas and scenes whenever and wherever. But focusing and getting some solid edits done...Now that involves willpower.
ReplyDeleteHi Deniz,
DeleteEditing is definitely hard; I once started an entirely new manuscript just to avoid editing the first manuscript I started. Editing is tough because I have to "let go" of several lines or even pages that I really like.
Dry spells in writing are scary, but the fact that you overcame it shows that your inner talent was still there.