Monday, August 11, 2014

I Feel Old (and Young)

1. I feel old when I realize that a ten year old knows more about all the apps on a smartphone than I do (especially because I keep accidentally taking pictures of myself with my phone).

2. I feel young when I give up my seat on the train for an elderly woman, and I think about what it'll be like when I'm her age and people give up their seats (I hope) for me.

3. I feel old when I can't understand half of what my students say. For example, it took me a long time to figure out that "totes" meant "totally", "cray-cray" meant "crazy", and IDGAF meant "I don't give a (well, you get the idea)."

4. I feel young when I see the older professors on campus and listen to them talk about their decades of teaching experience.

5. I feel old when I listen to the undergrads talk about their plans for the future, because they haven't yet considered all the roadblocks that life is going to throw in their way.

6. I feel young when I see elderly people walk slowly on the sidewalk, and I feel grateful (though I also feel guilty for feeling grateful) that my legs are still strong enough to get me from one place to another with ease.

7. I feel old when I see children running and shrieking on the playground. They run because they're playing games and having fun. I run in order to burn calories.

8. I feel young when I think about how many years it'll be before I can retire. I used to think I NEVER wanted to retire, but too many frustrating experiences in academia made me rethink that.

9. I feel old when I see people in their twenties hanging out in bars, and I think, "While they're sleeping until noon tomorrow, I'll already have been up for five hours and gotten all my dailies done, like laundry."

10. I feel young when I listen to pop music and sing along and dance to it.

11. I feel old when I look in the mirror and see the lines under my eyes and the white hairs on my head, and I run (counting calories all the way) to the drugstore to buy anti-aging cream.

12. I feel young when I reread my favorite books from my childhood and remember all the reasons that I loved (and still love) them.

13. I feel old when I look at online dating profiles and realize that I'm about ten years too old for all the arrogant, middle-aged creeps who only want twenty-two year old girls, reject all the women who aren't in their twenties, and refuse to accept the fact that THEY'RE getting older (even though most of the girls don't want them BECAUSE those guys are so much older).


What about you? When do you feel old (or young)?

10 comments:

  1. Love #7. I've thought that all the time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Melanie,
      I miss the playground. Exercise was much more fun when I was a kid, and I didn't even realize I was exercising.

      Delete
  2. You make the best lists. The alternating between feeling old & young is brilliant. Let's see...I feel old because TOMORROW I take my baby girl to college. I feel young because I totes still get the giggles recalling the antics of my own college days (praise the Lord that baby girl has a far better head on shoulders than I did at that age).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Nicki,
      Thanks! I'm obsessed with organizing stuff, hence the lists. Wow, sending your daughter to college is a big deal; tell her good luck for me! I wish I could say that I can remember my own college antics; I was a nerd who spent most of her time in the library.

      Delete
  3. #7, 8 and 9 really resonated with me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi eemusings,
      Thanks! I must admit that I kind of envy the people who can afford to take early retirement. If I did that, I wouldn't have to squeeze fiction writing into my schedule; I could devote my life to writing instead.

      Delete
  4. Yep, I totally understand. My younger cousins have to explain to me how to use other types of social media and I wonder how a ten year old could figure such things out, when me (28) can't. Just remember one is only as old as you feel. Stick to the things that make you feel young.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Murees,
      Even though I don't know how to use several forms of social media, I'm glad that I didn't grow up using it; my childhood would have been very different.

      Delete
  5. I remember when I was one of the youngest people in the office. Now I'm not the oldest, but I'm now old enough to be the mother of most of our new hires. The first time I felt old is when a group of them stop talking about their previous night's escapades when I walked into the room.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Savvy Working Gal,
      I'm almost old enough to be the mother of my students, which makes me feel old too. I hope that I can still feel young even when it's decades from now, even if there are other aspects of my life that make me feel old.

      Delete