Monday, August 26, 2013

Act Like an Adult

At a wedding I attended a few years ago, a female friend of my parents turned to me as soon as the ceremony ended and asked, "So, when are you going to get married?"

The kid in me wanted to say, "I don't know. When are you going to get your mustache waxed?"

But as an adult, I said something vague, like, "I just haven't met the right guy yet."

Even though I'm thirty-two, I don't always feel like an adult. Maybe it's because I still carry a bookbag instead of a briefcase. Actually, when I first started teaching, I bought a briefcase, but it was hard to carry it because of all the heavy textbooks I used in my classes.

Maybe it's because I'm still buying school supplies, like notebooks, pens, and candy to throw at the loud students in the library.

I have long hair, and it grows pretty fast. So I have to get it cut every six weeks. But I haven't gotten a haircut in three months because I spent the money at Starbucks. 

My iPod playlist also resembles that of a teenage girl, because it includes songs by Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Britney Spears, and One Direction. What? Their songs are catchy and fun to work out to! Have you ever tried to work out to classical music? I'd probably fall asleep on the treadmill!

Side note: Please don't stop following my blog because of my taste in music. I'd promise to never post a video by one of my favorite musicians, but then I'd just be lying.

Even though I'm thirty-two, I still don't know how to put on makeup. Every time I go to Macy's, I try to get up the courage to approach one of those cosmetics salespeople and ask them for tips. But they all look so polished and fashionable that I end up walking right past them every time. I tried watching a few of those Youtube videos on how to apply makeup, but I got depressed because the girls in those videos all had better hair than mine.

Every time I go to a cafe, there are always at least two or three people who think that their laptop bags need their own separate table. As an adult, I either ask them politely to move their bags so that I can sit down, or I find another table. But the kid in me wants to fling their bags across the cafe and yell, "How do you like me NOW?"

When I walk around outside, I can't help admiring the pretty dresses and high heels that women my age wear. I keep thinking that I should stop wearing jeans, T-shirts, and sneakers all the time and dress like a woman in her thirties. Maybe then when I go to the nail salon and ask for a pedicure, the ladies won't stop and ask, "Wait, are you over eighteen?" I do dress up when I teach, but that still doesn't stop some of the students from saying on the first day of class, "Wait, are you the teacher? We thought you were one of us." (On the other hand, I think that once I get older, I'll want people to think I'm younger.)

I've been watching a lot of Youtube videos where people show off the ways that they decorated their homes; my favorites are the ones posted by House and Home and Spaces. Even though I've lived in my own apartment for more than ten years, I still have pictures up on the wall that I decorated my high school locker with. (But at least I finally threw away those Backstreet Boys posters.)

Being an adult is sometimes more difficult than I thought it would be when I was younger. It means that if I mess up, I have to take responsibility for it. It means that if someone hurts my feelings (like when my dissertation committee tears apart my drafts, which is what I'm afraid is going to happen when they read my latest draft), I can't hide in bed and cry; I have to let it go and move on. It means that I can't always do whatever I want, because I'll have to deal with the consequences.

On the other hand, I do like some of the perks of adulthood. I like that I don't have to eat my vegetables unless I want to. I like that I can stay out as late as I want (even though I usually fall asleep before midnight). I like that I don't have to hide my copies of Cosmopolitan anymore (my father still tries to make me cover my eyes every time there's a kissing scene on TV). I like that I can live on my own, pay my own bills, and make my own decisions.

Also, even though some of my students initially think that I'm younger, once they start missing class regularly, sleeping or texting during lectures, or making up excuses for why their work was turned in late (or not at all), I definitely feel old.

What about you? What do you like/dislike about adulthood? What makes you feel like you're still a kid? What makes you wish that you were still a kid? 

24 comments:

  1. I was one of those people who always looked way younger than my years which used to really bother me. I never wore makeup in my 30s because when I did it just looked like I was playing dress up and I felt silly. Really tho there isn't a darn thing I dislike about adulthood. I love not being a kid. My teen years were horrible and turning 20 was my favorite birthday of all. (that of course was a long long time ago)

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    1. Hi Karen,
      I definitely would not want to be a teenager again; I think that living through high school once was more than enough.
      Every time I try to put on makeup it ends up looking wrong. I wish I had a personal stylist who would pick out my outfit and fix my hair and makeup every day.

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  2. I'm married with four little kids, and sometimes I still feel like I'm 'playing house.'
    My grandma used to say that as you get older you expect to feel wiser, but really you pretty much always feel like you're seventeen. I think she's right. :-P I often times forget how old I am.

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    1. Hi Rachel,
      I thought I would feel wiser once I got older too, but sometimes I feel like I still have a lot to learn (and I do). On the other hand, there are some things that I know now that I wish I could tell my younger self.

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  3. I just had this thought today at the grocery store. I still buy adult products, eat healthy and such, but if I buy wine, I feel like I have to look over my shoulder like I'm going to get busted. I'm 35.

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    1. Hi Libby,
      Haha! Actually, I think they have this rule at some grocery stores that they'll card anyone who doesn't look 40, even though the drinking age is 21. I'd like to say that I buy healthy products, but I just ate a handful of M&Ms and I was tempted to buy Lunchables when I went to the store today.

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  4. I went to the Benefit counter at Macy's when I was in my mid-20s and told the woman I had no experience with makeup and that I needed four or five (no more) makeup essentials. She gave me the foundation of my makeup routine and, perhaps more importantly, the confidence to play around with my face.

    This, combined with a proper bra fitting, made me feel like a true woman. But when a friend offered me another kitty recently, I just didn't think I was responsible enough for two pets. So maybe it's all just a facade of grownupness.

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    1. Hi NGS,
      Once I have more money saved up, I will go up to one of those Macy's salespeople and ask them for help. I think it'd be kind of fun to shop for makeup.
      Two pets can be a lot of work. I wish I could have a dog, but my building doesn't allow them. Someday, though, when I'm rich enough to live in a nicer building that does allow pets, I'm going to get a dog.

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  5. I'm older than you and I'm in no hurry to 'grow up'. I still find jeans are more comfy than anything tailored and I don't wear makeup.

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    1. Hi Lynda,
      I love wearing jeans. They're so much more comfortable than the dress pants I wear for work. When I was younger I was in a hurry to grow up; I had this idea that it would be glamorous, like the thirtysomethings' lives on TV. Of course, I was wrong.

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  6. The child in you would be the best of friends with the child in me. Why cant we say what we feel instead of being grown up and polite. If your students think you look like them that's a compliment, if you "look like them" maybe you will be able to relate to them. And ummm didja think to ask if I might want the backstreet boy posters huh didja?

    The music I listen to is along the same lines as you. As the commercial says being a kid gives you the freedom adult hood never can. Maybe we need a few more adult kids who are free enough to make great changes. look at all the great and powerful oz accomplished with one microphone.


    Deb

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    1. Hi Deb,
      Actually, when I first started teaching, there were some students who gave me a hard time because they didn't like the fact that I wasn't a lot older than them but I still had authority over them. But you're right about how it can be a compliment to be told that I look younger; I suppose I'd rather look younger than older. And sorry about the Backstreet Boys posters, haha! I don't even listen to them anymore, though I still have their CDs somewhere.
      I tried listening to music that other people liked, but I always went back to my favorites. Anyway, it's not like anyone else uses my iPod. If they did, they'd see my "nothing but Britney" playlist.

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    2. well if you ever want to get rid of the cds ... think of me, I'll happily give them a home. Sometimes its not so much who sings them as the lyrics ya know? I love love songs whether pop rock or country,

      But for studying its classical for studying. It is a good feeling when you can walk in order a drink and them ask for id because you don't look old enough. I first found it offensive til I considered the alternative. .. the dreaded getting older and losing it...... yikes...

      Hope your year stays successful

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  7. Nah stay young at heart. The fact is as cliche as the saying might be, life is short. Have fun, smile as often as possible and be you every chance you get.

    I'd say the important parts of being an adult, you have covered.

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    1. Hi Brandon,
      I still need to learn how to cook, especially since I keep burning frozen pizza. But thanks for the advice! Sometimes I feel guilty about having fun; I always feel like I should be working instead. But I usually don't regret it when I take time off to have fun, especially since I'm working 90% of the time anyway.

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  8. I'm with Brandon. I love being my age, because suddenly I can do all sorts of stuff I always wanted. And it's great to suddenly have an inkling as to where you're headed. Especially since I'm the one calling the shots. :-)

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    1. Hi Misha,
      I feel like I'll be calling the shots on my life once I finally finish my dissertation; then I'll feel free and I'll have a better sense of where I'm headed.

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    2. Then fingers crossed that you'll get it done soon!

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  9. I was surprised to find that I'm the same me I was as a kid. I still like and do what I did then, although of course with more responsibilities. I guess there just came a time in my life when I decided I liked who I was and there was no point in changing. So go ahead and crank up that music and celebrate all that makes you, you.

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    1. Hi Melanie,
      That's great that you're happy with who you are; a lot of people aren't able to do that. It was hard for me to be comfortable with who I was when I was younger, especially in high school. One good thing about being a grownup is that high school is over. :)

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  10. Ha! I really struggle with this. But since I have kids, it's more acceptable for me to act like one. Or at least, when I'm around them I can. :)

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    1. Hi Emily,
      I think it's good that you act like that with your kids; that tells them that you can relate to them. I remember how I loved drawing pictures and playing board games when I was a kid; if I ever have kids, I'll draw pictures and play games with them.

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  11. Just yesterday I was waiting in line at the post office and observed two adult women, roughly my age, wearing pretty, light summer blouses with cute fitted linen shorts, and I suddenly felt like such a slouch in my baggy cargo shorts & red T-shirt. I should wear pretty, grown up blouses. But I love plain t-shirts & cargos.

    Let's see, what I dislike most about being a grown up are financial worries, what I like best about it is realizing that I don't ever have to grow all the way up, not in my heart.

    Next time, I think you should go with the mustache response, haha.

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    1. Hi Nicki,
      I like cargo shorts and pants too, especially because I can keep things in the pockets; the problem with dress pants is they often don't come with pockets.
      Financial worries bother me too, especially because I've never earned a lot of money, despite my multiple jobs. When I'm able to earn a good living from just one job, then I'll be "rich".

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