Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Why I Keep Teaching

There has been more than one instance where I wanted to quit teaching. There was the day a student, who had been disrespectful to me for weeks, nearly drove me to tears in front of all my students. There was the time another student screamed at me (it got so bad that male instructors who were nearby tried to intervene to make him calm down) because I didn't give him the grade he thought he "deserved". There are also the days when I struggle with my dissertation and the less-than-positive feedback from my committee. I know that if I can't make it as a scholar, I cannot continue being a college teacher; professors are teachers AND scholars.

On days like those, I find myself thinking, Maybe I should quit. I'll drop out of graduate school, give up teaching, and pursue a different career, like professional wrestling. I also occasionally think, If I give up teaching, maybe then I can get a large tattoo that says, I eat scholars for breakfast.

But even after everything I've been through and even after all the sacrifices I've had to make, I still can't bring myself to quit. When I was on campus to teach the other day, I looked at the undergrads chatting with each other as they walked to class. I went into my classroom, looked at my students, and thought, This is where I want to be. This is still what I want.

Teaching is the one job I've ever had that I am truly good at (though I know I still have a lot to learn), and it's the one job that I can see myself doing until I get too old to work (other than writing, of course). (But I'm hoping that by the time I get old, they'll come up with some kind of "workaholic serum" that allows old workaholics to continue working, so that we don't have to - gasp! - retire. Because what would I do when I retire? Spend the rest of my life not working? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Why not just take chocolate away from me, while you're at it? Why not just make me move in with Joan and Melissa Rivers, too?)

The connections that I've made with some of my students are also why I don't want to quit teaching. When I taught high school students, several of them confided in me about how they were bullied by other students or showed me the poems and stories that they had written for fun, which they hadn't shown to anyone else. It touched me that they trusted me like that, and it made me try to do everything I could to help them.

A lot of college students are less open about their feelings than the younger students were, but some of them have confided in me about their dreams for their future. Several of them have come to me to talk about the books that we're studying, and they often bring up questions and issues that I hadn't even considered. They talk enthusiastically about the characters as if they're real people, which shows that the books have come to mean something to them. And that gives me a lot of satisfaction to know that I helped them to recognize the value of literature, and it also makes me proud that they developed their own insight.

Recently, a former graduate student sued her school because she received a C-plus in one of her classes. She demanded an apology from her professor and that her grade be changed to a B. She also demanded more than a million dollars, because she claimed that that low grade kept her from completing her degree; the money was what she would have earned from her career as a - wait for it - therapist.

Never mind that she had gotten free tuition because of her father's job as a professor at that school, and never mind that she got another graduate degree and found a job in a different field. She claimed that she had been discriminated against and graded unfairly. It apparently didn't even occur to her that her grade may have actually been based on her own work and her own mistakes.

When I heard about this lawsuit, it made me think of the students who have blamed me for their bad grades, though none of them have sued me, thank God. If this student won this lawsuit, it would have set a dangerous precedent; then any of my students could sue me for giving them grades that they didn't "deserve". Every time a student complains about his or her grade and blames it on me rather than his or her own mistakes (it doesn't happen to me that often, because not all the students are like this, but it happens), I lose a little faith in teaching; it makes me wonder whether these students see me as just a grade distributor or an educator.

The judge ruled against this student, and her grade remained a C-plus. When I heard that she lost, my first reaction was to march up and down the street singing Kool & the Gang's "Celebration" song.


I also wanted to thumb my nose at her and say, "Maybe next time you'll realize that you have to earn your grades! Ha!" I know I shouldn't take pleasure in other people's losses, but I couldn't help myself this time.

The judge's ruling made me think that maybe people do realize that educators' jobs are important, and that they really are qualified to make judgments on students' work. It made me see that for once, the educators won, which was refreshing after reading so many articles that blame the teachers (though I do acknowledge that there are teachers out there who shouldn't be teaching) for everything the students do wrong. Reading about the judge's ruling also came at a good time for me, because I recently read an article about a professional basketball player who was paid more for playing one game than I (or any other teacher, for that matter) would have earned in several years.

Sighhhh...

What about you? What keeps you from giving up on your work, whether it be your day job, your writing, or anything else that you're passionate about? 

16 comments:

  1. Teaching--at any level--is a calling. The pay is disproportionate to the work required, which is something a lot of people can probably say about their jobs. But most of those jobs don't require a minimum of a bachelor's degree to do, and the higher ed jobs that require master's and above don't pay all that much more.

    The point is: teaching tends to be a love it or don't do it proposition There really isn't much room for halfway doing it. (And you certainly won't be any good at it if you are 'halfway' into it.)

    You've found your niche, and that's something to be very proud of. :-)

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    1. Hi E.J.,
      I definitely agree with you about how teaching is a calling, and how you have to love it in order to keep working as a teacher. Teaching is a difficult job, partly because teachers are extremely underpaid and overworked, in addition to other challenges. But loving the good things about teaching makes it worth doing. I do wish that teachers got paid more, though. Then I could afford to work just one job rather than two or three.

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  2. I applaud you and your desire to teach. I am a student at this moment working to get my English Degree. This is my life long dream and if it wasn't for the teachers that are right now in my life, and have been I would have given up along time ago. Writing isn't what I do it has become who I am, and without it there is an emptiness nothing can fill. From a student to you, stay strong and Thank you.

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    1. Hi Connecting to the soul,
      I wish you luck in your pursuit of your degree, and it's great that you have teachers who inspire you. I had great teachers both as an undergrad and as a grad student; they inspired me too, partly because of their passion for their work and their encouragement of my own dreams.

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  3. I keep at it mostly for lack of a better idea.

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    1. Hi mmarinaa,
      In a way, I went into teaching partly because I didn't have a better idea of what I wanted to do with my life; I had worked jobs in other fields, and I had also done internships when I was in college. But teaching was the only job that "stuck" with me.

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  4. I've taken time off from teaching to write, and while I've loved getting my book out there, I'm missing the classroom. I've decided to return part time, love the enthusiasm and energy of the kids. Although professional wrestling does sound tempting...

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    1. Hi Charmaine,
      Haha! I'm not sure I could do professional wrestling, because I'd probably just end up running from the ring in terror. Also I've noticed that a lot of wrestlers wear skimpy costumes, so I'd be afraid of accidentally flashing people.
      Like you, I would miss the students the most if I were to take a break from teaching.

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  5. Any career is going to have it's bad, what-it's-all-for? days, and if you've found something that feels right despite the frustrations, then my guess is you're doing way better than most people.

    It's very sad when a student can reach college age and still genuinely believe they deserve to be rewarded for sub-par work - but in a society where kids grow up getting a trophy every time they blow their nose, what else can we expect?

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    1. Hi Nicki,
      There has been more than one student who urged me to change his/her grade to an A just because they showed up to class every day; I think it's partly due to the fact that they were rewarded for attendance when they were in grade school or high school (or both), so they think that that should be enough to get them a higher grade. Attendance is important, but so is everything else. You're right that kids get rewarded too often; there's too much emphasis on their self-esteem (though I recognize that self-esteem is important) and not enough emphasis on hard work and discipline.

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  6. That suit incensed me too. Yes, it would be a dangerous precedent.

    I'm glad you receive enjoyment and feel passion for teaching. There's a lot about any job that's uncertain and stressful, but if it feels right for you, it is.

    All I want to do is sit around and write.

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    1. Hi Theresa,
      I would love to spend most of my time writing; teaching was supposed to be my "day job", but as you know, it can be all-consuming. But in the back of my mind I still dream of a day when I'll be able to make a living at writing.
      That lawsuit made me mad, though I do admire the professor who was sued for standing her ground, even after everything that student put her through. And it wasn't just the professor who felt the student had earned a C-plus; before she filed the lawsuit, the student appealed her grade to the department, but the department sided with the teacher. With all the time she spent suing the school, she could have just retaken the class and worked hard to earn the grade she thought she "deserved".

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  7. Holy cow, seriously? Sue because you don't like the grade? I can't believe this happened. Unfortunately, a lot of kids (and adults) don't take responsibility for their own actions. Not cool. I'm glad you'll keep teaching. Teachers are so valuable!

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    1. Hi Julie,
      I think that one reason the C-plus was so serious for that student was that because she was a grad student, she needed at least a B in order to get credit for that class. But she still could have retaken the class, tried again, and worked harder, just like most other students have to do. But she obviously had a strong sense of entitlement; she thought she deserved the grade and knew more about grading than the teacher. (Clearly, she didn't.) Cases like that make me mad, which is why I'm glad that she lost her lawsuit.
      And thank you for how you said that teachers are valuable. I wish that more people shared your perspective that students should take responsibility for their own actions; they're going to have to learn how to take responsibility for themselves sooner or later, or they'll have a rude awakening once they finally grow up.

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  8. Well... between you and me, I have a MUCH easier job than you that I enjoy.

    But the harder stuff I keep doing, I stay with for the same reason as you. They're my passion.

    Best of luck!

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    1. Hi Misha,
      Thanks! I don't think I would have been able to keep teaching if it wasn't so important to me; I saw a film once that stated that a lot of teachers don't stay in the profession for more than five years. The work is a lot different from those "inspirational teacher" movies.

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