1. I think it might be time to stop dating guys in their twenties (the Model was in his twenties, and after things ended with him, all I was left with were a broken heart, empty pints of ice cream, and lingerie that I had to hide when my parents came to visit). When I did online dating the last time, some of the worst guys I was "matched" with were in their twenties, like all the guys who wanted me to invite them over to my apartment after we'd only been talking for five minutes, or the guy who specified in his profile that his girlfriend could only wear her hair in a ponytail once or twice a week (That would just make me show up for the date with my hair in a ponytail).
2. I need to learn how to say "no" more often. That is, "No, you can't have a two-day extension on your paper just because you have a lot of other homework to do," or "No, it's not okay for you to be rude to me, Retail Salesperson, just because you hate your job and are married to Satan," or "No, I will NOT send you nudes, Creepy Guy on Tinder!"
3. I think it might be time to start dating more guys in their thirties, except the problem is that while a lot of the guys in their twenties, at least the ones that I was matched with on Tinder and Bumble, are mainly just interested in sex (although to be fair, Tinder is a well-known hookup site), most of the guys in their thirties (at least the ones around here) either want significantly younger women (which would make me "too old" for them, even if I'm the same age as them), or they want to "settle down" and find stepmothers for their multiple children. I've never really been the maternal type. I don't even know what to say to children. I think the last time I talked to a friend's five year old, I said something like, "You're so lucky that you get to take naps at school."
4. It's time for me to manage my time more effectively so that I can have more time to do the things I want to do, like write, travel, and spend time with friends. I never thought I'd say that I should spend less time at work, but when I look back on my twenties and thirties, I regret how much time I spent working and all the things that I sacrificed or missed out on.
5. I need to choose my friends more carefully. I spent too many years with "friends" who blew me off at the last minute, expected me to spend hours listening to their problems but criticized me for talking about mine, or claimed they "weren't hungry" and then asked if they could "share" my dessert (do you want to lose a hand? Then NO!).
I turned thirty-seven a few weeks ago. In addition to stocking up on anti-aging cream and Googling "How much is Botox?", it made me think of how I want my life to be different from now on, and so I have to make it different. I think that doing the things above will make my life easier, and maybe I'll even be a little happier, too.
What about you? As you get older, what kinds of things have you started doing differently?
Side note: I haven't blogged in several weeks because of blogger's block, too many papers to grade, and e-mails from students who think that homework is for quitters.
Crafts and Nature Photos and Michael Palin
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[image: C]rafts!
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[image: N]ature!
*Two secret gift exchange projects, in Our Flag Means Death colours!*
*A house and a park made by the six-y...
3 days ago
Belated Happy Birthday. Wishing you all good things as you contemplate a new direction on your life's journey.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you teach?
Hi Sandra,
DeleteThanks! I hope my 37th year will be better than my 36th; it's been a difficult year. I teach writing and literature.
Happy birthday! I hope you had epic cheese to celebrate. I get what you're saying. I pay less attention to the news, social media, and anyone who doesn't add value to my life or the lives of my children. Is that sad? The older you get, the more you learn to value your time and sanity, eh?
ReplyDeleteHi Crystal,
DeleteThanks! I didn't have cheese, but I did have ice cream. :) And paying less attention to people and things that don't add value to your life isn't sad at all; it's the right thing to do. I spent too many years on people who were not true friends, treated me with insensitivity and carelessness, and showed no remorse for their actions. I don't want those people in my life anymore.
Happy Birthday!!!
ReplyDeleteThe fact guys in their thirties want significantly younger women is stupid. Women their own age bracket are far more experienced and settled with other aspects of their lives. To me, that would be a plus.
Hi Chrys,
DeleteI know, right? When I was on match.com, people could specify their desired age range for their dates. The vast majority of the guys in their thirties did not want to date anyone over the age of thirty. In fact, many of the guys in their late thirties specifically stated that their desired age range for their dates was 18-27. To dismiss women their own age in order to pursue girls barely out of high school showed that they were very arrogant, superficial, and just plain clueless.
Good plan. Happy belated birthday!
ReplyDeleteI notice that in the last couple of years, my trip-planning has gone into turbo-drive. It's like, there's all these things I've always wanted to do, and now I want to start doing all of them at once. Maybe after my next birthday I'll learn how to pace myself.
Hi Nicki,
DeleteThanks! I know what you mean! It's hard not to want to do them all at once because the prospect of doing these things is exciting. I always wanted to travel around the world, but I didn't really do much traveling during my twenties. I always wanted to travel around Europe and go on a cross-country road trip around the U.S. I'd still like to do that sooner rather than later.
Happy belated! Isn’t aging fun? Putting aside the physical limitations that we face with time, I’m loving it. I’m about to be 35 and I love my gray strands of hair, the crow’s feet at the corners of my eyes, and other signs of aging. With time comes wisdom and I would never exchange it for my youth. Since I turned 30, I’ve started doing things I was afraid to do in my 20s. I joined a running club and started participating in races. I stopped sweating the small stuff - for the most part anyway. I embraced being a homebody, I set boundaries with my family, I started valuing the things that truly matter. On my 35th birthday, I’m finally leaving the South and heading out west to build a new life my hubby and our furbabies - something I only dreamed about doing in my 20s.
ReplyDeleteHi nomdeplume,
DeleteGood for you! A new move can be good because it means a fresh start in a new place. And I think it's good to be a homebody; I think in our twenties we often feel pressured to be more extroverted because we see twentysomethings on TV and in the movies living it up at clubs and parties. But I never felt comfortable clubbing when I was in my twenties. And good for you too on joining that running club. I think that running with other people helps motivate you to keep going.
I must admit though, that every time I see a white hair on my head, I pull it out. I really need to stop doing that.
Happy belated birthday! I'm still writing and hoping to publish, but one crazy thing I do to myself is constantly going back to school. It might have been better to do it all in one shot like you did :-) Rather than getting a BA, working for a while, going back for an extra certificate, working some more, then deciding I need an MA and starting on it while working full time...
ReplyDeleteHi Deniz,
DeleteSorry about my belated reply! I didn't see your comment. Anyway, I think it's actually good that you worked after graduation rather than go straight through to grad school like I did. I went through so many years of grad school that I became burned out, and it negatively affected my work sometimes.