Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Reading to Strangers

Apparently there's a big poetry scene in some of the bigger towns and cities nearby (but not in Small Town, unfortunately), and there are a lot of poetry readings and open mic nights hosted by local coffee shops and bars.

I heard about a monthly open mic night at a bar in a big city that's a considerable driving distance away from Small Town, but at this event people can read whatever they want, not just poetry. I've never been really good at poems. If I wrote a poem, it'd be like this: Roses are red, violets are blue. Donald Trump is destroying this country, and I blame you. (And then I'd make copies and tape them to the doors of all the Trump supporters.)

I decided to drive out to the big city and read a flash fiction piece I wrote a few years ago that I've always been proud of but has never been published. I've never read my work in front of anyone, except in writing classes.

Part of me wished that I'd brought at least a few of my friends from Small Town with me, but somehow it felt like it might be easier to read in front of strangers rather than people I knew. My writing is very personal to me, and it's something I keep secret from most people, whereas reading in front of strangers is different because then I never have to see them again if they don't like it. On the other hand, I was afraid of negative reactions from the audience that night, and I was tempted to turn back and drive home. But I kept driving forward.

The bar turned out to be a brewery, so that it looked like one big warehouse with just a small section cordoned off for the bar. When I came in, there were several rough-looking older guys playing pool and drinking beer but no women there, and they all looked at me curiously as I came in. I wasn't sure if I had the right place at first, though I had arrived early for the reading. Being there in an unfamiliar place with a bunch of men I'd never met made me wish I could say, "If any of you come near me, I will not hesitate to kick you in the crotch." (You may call me paranoid, but I did just spend the past several years living in a big city where people tried to mug or attack me on a regular basis.)

But none of the guys tried to hurt me, and soon, more people (including women) arrived. Most of the people attending the reading looked like they were hipsters, the kind of people who would groan and kick me (though their skinny jeans might cause them to trip and fall down instead of kick me) if they knew how many Britney Spears playlists are on my iPod (and yes, I have more than one, and I'm "sorry not sorry" because she's FABULOUS).

I signed up to read my story, though a part of me still wanted to run out of there before it was too late. When the host called out my name, my hands shook as I looked down at the pages I'd written.

As I read my story, people smiled and laughed at several points, which was exactly the response I was hoping for. When I finished reading and sat back down, the host of the reading said, "Duuude! You need to freakin' come BACK to the next reading, seriously!" Afterwards, several people, including other writers who also read their work, approached me to tell me that they were impressed by my writing and that I did a good job.

I felt relieved that I had finally done what I'd been wanting to do for a long time. I felt pleased that other people liked my story, and I felt happy to be around other writers who were reading their work. I felt excited to go home and write another story. And another one, and another one...

What about you? Do you feel more comfortable at the idea of sharing your work with strangers or with people you know?

16 comments:

  1. Way to go! I'm so proud of you, getting out like that and sharing. It just goes to show you never know what will happen if you take a plunge.

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    1. Hi Crystal,
      Thanks! And I'm glad that I went to that open mic night; like you said, I wouldn't have known what it would have been like otherwise, and I'm glad that I finally know. It went better than I thought it would. :)

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  2. Hooray!! Good for you for doing that. I HATE reading my work out loud and would have been so intimidated. Giving you a round of applause. :)

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    1. Hi Julie,
      Thanks! I've always felt self-conscious about sharing my writing with others; that's partly why I'm anonymous on this blog. But it was a good experience.

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  3. I am so proud of you! Definitely keep writing! Sharing my work in general, even with people I know, puts my anxiety in overdrive. Wow! You are made of awesome. Don't ever forget that.

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    1. Hi Murees,
      Aw, thanks! I was definitely anxious during my reading; I think I was shaking even while I read. But the positive response from the audience was good, and I figure in a way it was good practice. That is, it was good to find out how an audience responded to my work.

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  4. You know it was good because if it wasn't, strangers wouldn't want you to come back. Congrats!

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    1. Hi Charly,
      Thanks! And I think I will go back, once I write a new story. It was fun!

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  5. That's awesome! I'm so glad you went through with the reading. It can be so nerve-racking to read your writing in front of other people.

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    1. Hi Sarah,
      Thanks! I was definitely nervous, but it was worth it. I think I would have regretted it more if I hadn't done it.

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  6. That's awesome! Well done. You must be walking in the clouds right now :-)

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    1. Hi Annalisa,
      Thanks! And I was walking in the clouds; I smiled the whole drive home from the reading. :)

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  7. I find it much easier to share with strangers than with people I know. I guess it's because my writing comes from somewhere in my soul, so the thought of people I really care about rejecting my writing is terrifying.

    Kudos for doing that reading, though! Are you going to do it again?

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    1. Hi Misha,
      I'm so sorry that it took me so long to respond; it's been a very long week and I've been so absentminded lately. And yes, I definitely relate to what you said about people I care about rejecting my writing, which is why I haven't let any of them read my writing yet. My Small Town friends wanted me to read my story to them, but I just wasn't ready yet.
      I am going to do the open mic night again, though not this month. I've been working on a new story. :)

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  8. That's awesome. I would definitely be petrified to read anything that I'd ever written in front of a crowd of people, even if they were strangers. Good job to you times a million!!

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    1. Hi mmarinaa,
      Thanks! That event was definitely the highlight of 2017 for me so far, especially because outside of writing classes and this blog, I'd never shared my writing with anyone before. It felt good to finally do so.

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