1. If your college roommate tells you that she doesn't smoke, what she really means is, "My friends and I will make the dorm room smell like an ashtray."
2. It's okay to say no if friends ask if they can "share" your dessert. It's not okay to stab their hands with your fork and/or bite them if they reach for your food.
3. You don't have to do everything your parents tell you to do, and it's good (and important) to make your own decisions, no matter what they say.
4. Take notes every time you go to class, and don't lend your notes to people who are always absent.
5. Dating is not like a Hollywood romantic comedy, and Prince Charming does not exist.
6. Dating is more like an improv show where a lot of people don't know what they're doing. It's likely that you and your "costar" won't have chemistry, which will make it less entertaining and more "If I pretend to throw up, that might get me out of this earlier."
7. If "friends" tell you all about the fun they have with other friends but don't have time for you, stop listening to them and stop calling them.
8. If you decide to major in English, also major or minor in something
"lucrative," so that you won't ever have to say something like, "Would
you like to sign up for our store credit card?" or "I'm sorry, but you
have to put your shoes (and your shirt) back on if you want to shop
9. When you start teaching, don't let your students walk all over you, and don't let them get away with their "excuses."
10. Eat less fast food, and cook your own food more often.
11. It's okay to prefer museums and bookstores over parties and bars, even if it means you'll go to those places on your own.
12. If your friends ignore you every time they're in romantic relationships, don't be there for them when the relationships end.
13. It's good to work hard, but it's not good to let your life revolve around work.
What about you? What do you wish you had known when you were eighteen?
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