Monday, February 15, 2016

What It's Like to Have a Crush...When You're a Neurotic Workaholic Like Me

1. You spend more time on your physical appearance, because you want to avoid what happened the first time you ran into him: you neither brushed your hair nor your teeth that day. You start wearing makeup, even though you always hated wearing it, and you style your hair and choose outfits more carefully. Then you look in the mirror and think, "Wow, I look good!" And that makes you feel good.

2. The day you are supposed to go out for dinner with him and his friends, a ginormous zit will suddenly appear on your nose or your chin. When you sit next to him at dinner, you feel as if your zit is growing larger by the second, to the point that it might jump off your face and attack Small Town Guy or his friends.

3. You do something you rarely did for anyone else before: you give up time that you normally spend working in order to hang out with him and his friends, who socialize regularly.

4. When you come home from hanging out with him and his friends, the stack of work on your desk will make other zits pop out on your face in response.

5. You find yourself thinking more about him than about your work. You like that he's been kind enough to include you in his circle of friends, which really helps after moving to a town where you did not know anyone.

6. You find yourself obsessing over small things, like the time you texted him and he didn't text you back. When he apologizes a couple days later for forgetting to text you because he was busy with work, you resist the urge to say, "That's okay. It's not like I was waiting by the phone, picking out the names of my future cats."

7. You start to feel hope again, which is something that you haven't felt for anyone since your Grad School Crush last year, who liked you back but also liked playing with your heart as if it was a yo-yo.

8. After all the bad dates and failed relationships, you half-convince yourself that there is no reason to feel hopeful. Small Town Guy hasn't asked you out; he's just friendly to newcomers like you. You think, If it was going to happen for me, it would've happened by now. A great guy like him could have his pick of any other woman in town, like a thinner, more attractive woman whose mind is not like an eternal Seinfeld marathon. 

9. You think that maybe eventually, your life won't revolve around work and that maybe it could be about much more than that.

10. You also think that if by some miracle Small Town Guy ever feels the same way about you, it could interfere with your professional goals. He is established in his career in this town, but you plan to eventually move on to a more secure teaching position at another school who knows where. Your work has always been the most important thing to you, and you're not sure you'd be willing to give up everything you've worked for (and everything you're still working for), even for someone like him.

What about you? When you had a crush on someone, what were the positive/negative aspects for you?

15 comments:

  1. I could relate to this as I'm also a neurotic workaholic. And the ginormous zit...it always happens like that, doesn't it?

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    1. Hi Chrys,
      I know, right? I already feel self-conscious when I break out right before I have to teach, because then I feel like all my students are staring at my acne. Fortunately, several of them are actually staring at their phones. :)

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  2. I don't miss crushes! Although mine always lasted way too long.

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    1. Hi Sarah,
      I know what you mean! I think that's often what makes it harder to get over those crushes.

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  3. I totally feel you on #8! But my brother tells me that sometimes if guys already have a lot going on and don't see immediate competition from other guys, they may wait a while and keep things low key while they let the friendship/relationship develop. I don't know if that helps, but as another girl with a possibly requited crush from a very friendly, social guy, I am cheering for you!

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    1. Hi SolariC,
      Thanks! That does help, actually (and good luck with the guy you're interested in!). Even though a part of me thinks that nothing will ever happen, part of me hopes that if the guy and I get to know each other as friends first, it will lead to something more later on.

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  4. Well well well...what do we have HERE? Do I sense random blushing? I think I do!! If this is real and totally legit you have me squealing over here!! Girl. Totally ok. Totally worth it. Totally got to get it!!!

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    1. Hi Tammy,
      Yes, I definitely have a real crush on this guy. :) But I don't think he feels the same way; right now, I think he just sees me as a friend, which is why I'm reluctant to say anything. We've only recently become friends, so maybe eventually...?

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  5. Yeah... your thoughts, fears and actions pretty much mirror my own. :-)

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    1. Hi Misha,
      At least now I know I'm not alone! I think a lot of people feel nervous or scared when they have crushes, because they don't know what will happen.

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  6. I do have a crush on someone. Thankfully he had a crush on me too and popped the big question. We've been crushing on each other for a good 19 years now--but I remember those feelings. Every. Single. One.

    Here's what it boils down to: patience. Enjoy the ride. It's fun to be in like. If things go a more serious direction, you'll be ready when they do. If they don't, there will be another guy who is actually the right guy. Don't take yourself too seriously and see where things go.

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    1. Hi Crystal,
      I like your description of your relationship with your husband; it's very sweet. :)
      I'll try to be patient, especially because what you say is good advice. I've been thinking that there is no right guy out there for me, though, but I also hope that I'm wrong about that.

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  7. I've definitely used my crushes to learn how to talk normally to people I have crushes on :-)

    I've got my fingers crossed for at least a date for you!

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    1. Hi Annalisa,
      Thanks! My fingers are crossed too, but there's a part of me that's afraid to hope. I wish I could talk normally to the guy I have a crush on; then I'd be less likely to embarrass myself.

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