Monday, January 18, 2016

Bad First Impressions

When I'm not working, there isn't a lot for me to do at night in Small Town, other than try not to cringe and scream, "SHUT UP, KNOW-NOTHINGS!" at the people on Fox News, which is always showing on the majority of the TVs at my gym, or go to Walmart and see how many Confederate flags, mullets, and/or pickup trucks I can spot in one visit (last count was twenty-seven).

That's why I was glad when a guy I met invited me to go out for drinks with him and his friends. It wasn't a date, just a friendly invitation. One thing about the people in Small Town is that they're generally pretty friendly (though I still get stared at suspiciously from time to time by random people, who can tell that I'm an outsider) and are always inviting me out to socialize with them. Coming from a big city, where strangers are more likely to rob you, attack you, or chase you down the street for no reason, this was very unsettling to me. (Even a simple "good morning" from some stranger on the street is still enough for me to grab my pepper spray or my keys, just in case.)

I have to admit, though, that even though it wasn't a date, I wouldn't have minded if it was. I won't say how I met this guy, just in case he comes across this blog and recognizes himself, but I will say I didn't meet him online. I've only socialized with him a couple times before with other people, never alone, but I know him well enough to know that I like him. I like the fact that he's attractive, smart, and just a little bit nerdy without being creepy.

Of course, whenever I'm around a guy I'm attracted to, one of two things will happen: 1) I clam up and act like I'm indifferent to him, or 2) I do or say something completely stupid, which will usually make him cringe inwardly and suddenly lose my phone number.

Unfortunately, when I went out with this guy and his friends, the second thing happened, despite the fact that I drank soda, not alcohol. If I drink alcohol I will: 1) fall into a crowd of people ; 2) start talking extremely loudly and stupidly; or 3) start singing and encourage other people to sing with me (all of this has happened).

We were talking about online dating at one point, and then all of a sudden it was like my brain floated out of my body, leaving my mouth unrestrained.

My mouth: And then my mother called me and said that I'm 34 and my biological clock is ticking, and...
My brain: Oh, my God! Stop talking stop talking stop talking!

My mouth: On the other hand, I would like to have at least one or two kids, hopefully soon, and...
My brain:  What are you doing? You might as well tattoo the word "IDIOT" on your forehead!

My mouth: I would like to get married someday, but I'm not sure if I could stay faithful to someone for the rest of my life, because...
My brain: YOU WILL BE SINGLE FOREVER.

I've been on enough dates to know that you NEVER talk about marriage or babies on the first date, because that's enough to make any guy run in the opposite direction. And the thing is, this wasn't even a date, like I said. But I was nervous, shy, and I hadn't been on a date in months, and unfortunately my brain could not get my hand to slap myself in the face to stop myself from talking.

I'm worried that I've totally ruined any chance I might have had with this guy, especially because it's been a few days and I haven't heard from him. But I will get to socialize with him and his friends, who, despite my babbling, invited me to hang out with them again soon. Hopefully I'll make a better impression the next time, though I'm not sure if it'll be enough to make up for what I said before.

What about you? Have you ever made a bad first impression on someone? Were you able to overcome it, and if so, how? 

16 comments:

  1. I've never had anything quite like that happen, but probably because I know I'm so awkward that I just try not to say anything at all. If you put a few drinks in me, though, I'll start babbling. I've revealed some way too personal stuff that way.

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    1. Hi Sarah,
      Alcohol should be called "truth serum" in many cases, because it does get a lot of people to reveal secrets that they might not have revealed otherwise. That's why I'm a teetotaler, because I'm very secretive in my offline life. :)

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  2. I'm sorry but I had a chuckle over that dialogue. I'm shy too but that means I don't talk at all. I don't even babble when I drink. lol If this guy likes you, he'll forgive your babbling.

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    1. Hi Chrys,
      No need to apologize! I like making people laugh! I wish this guy did like me, but I have a sinking feeling that I'm in the "friendzone" as far as he's concerned.

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  3. I think you should blame it on working with kids, who say anything that comes to mind, but their thoughts are usually more inappropriate or weird. Just a simple, "Yeah, I've been teaching all day" and people go, "Oh, sure" and nod sympathetically.

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    1. Hi Charly,
      I just might do that; sometimes my brain is fried after teaching all day, especially because I have to sound articulate and coherent to my students at all times.

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  4. Oy! I hope he was laughing inwardly because all people make that mistake. Here's hoping for you anyway.

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    1. Hi Crystal,
      Thanks! There is a small part of me that still feels hopeful about him, but the rest of me thinks that what I said was just too much for him to take.

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  5. I probably have, but honestly, I've moved past the point of caring. I guess I've come to accept that I'll be different from almost everyone I'll ever meet.

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    1. Hi Misha,
      I wish I could be like you and not care about stuff like that; that would make socializing a lot easier and less stressful for me. I think that's one of the reasons I've always been a loner: I tend to tense up and say/do the wrong thing in social situations.

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  6. PS I hope things work out with this guy. :-)

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    1. Hi Misha,
      Thanks! I hope so too, but at this point I kind of have my doubts.

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  7. Oops. Oh well. He might have found it endearing. And, hey, you get to hang out with him again - make the most of it :-)

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    1. Hi Annalisa,
      Unfortunately, I think he might have just thought I was weird. But I have hung out with him and his friends again since then; they're all really nice.

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  8. If he is worthy of you, he will over look your slip-ups. If not, he's an idiot! And you don't have to worry. Though, I hope he gets back in contact with you because I feel this means a lot to you. I tend to be too honest and scare people on a daily basis. No matter how many events I attend, I never am able to stop myself from mentioning that not everyone should be a parent, whenever the topic of children comes up. Those few words certainly makes people mad and argumentative. Have a great week ahead.

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    1. Hi Murees,
      I'm not sure if he'll overlook what I said; we have hung out since then, but only in a group with his friends. It kind of seems like he's just not that into me, but there is a small part of me that still has hope, at least for now.

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