1. Is to have the money to hire someone to clean my apartment, preferably someone who looks like Joe Manganiello and who flexes his muscles and bends over a lot when he cleans.
2. Is to get through one visit to my parents' house without my mother criticizing my looks/my clothes/my job/the fact that I'm still single.
3. Is to be able to eat a piece of cheesecake or pizza without cursing myself for it on the scale the next day.
4. Is to get through one visit to my parents' house without my father trying to control where I drive my car/how I should do my job/where I should live and work next.
5. Is to pay off my student loans before my students are old enough to retire.
6. Is for students to spend more time reading books than whatever is on their cell phones.
7. Is for Donald Trump to SHUT UP and GO AWAY.
8. Is for my double-parking, space-stealing, loud-partying, chain-smoking, mooching off their parents neighbors to be forced to live with Voldemort, Donald Trump, and Mama June.
9. Is a life where I only have to work one job instead of two or three.
10. Is to have more time to write.
What about you? What do you want for Christmas?
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