Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Conversations with Writers

When I go to book signings, I'm usually too shy to talk to the authors and ask them questions about their books, even though I want to. But if I could speak to them one on one, it'd be different.

If I could sit and talk with Dave Barry, I'd tell him that he was the first humor writer I ever read. His work inspired me to try to write stuff that made people laugh so hard their drinks came out of their noses.

If I could sit and talk with Ruth Reichl, I'd ask her how the people like her ex-husband and former friends felt about the ways she portrayed them in her memoirs. I'd ask for advice on how to portray people who hurt me without provoking them to yell, "It's ON now!" before chasing me down the street while hurling my book at my head.

If I could sit and talk with Beverly Cleary, I'd tell her how I read and reread her Ramona Quimby books when I was a little girl, and how I once got in trouble with my teacher for signing my name followed by "Age 8," like Ramona did.

If I could sit and talk with Jen Lancaster, I'd talk with her about the most annoying people in Chicago, like the neighbors who blast their music so loud in the middle of the night that I want to post fake eviction notices on their doors the next morning.

If I could sit and talk with Amy Tan, I'd tell her that one of the greatest moments in my life was when I told her how excited I was to meet her at a book signing, and she leaned back and said, "Thank you!" before smiling at me. I'd tell her that her descriptions of daughters' difficult relationships with their mothers made me feel less alone, because it always seemed to me that everyone else's relationships with their mothers were so much better.

If I could sit and talk with Stephen King, I'd tell him that I made the mistake of watching the film version of his book Children of the Corn on a farm surrounded by cornfields. I was so terrified that I kept looking around at the fields and shrieking, "The evil children are coming out of the fields! I can see them! AAAAAHHHH!" And then I'd ask him if his writing ever scares him.

If I could sit and talk with Jhumpa Lahiri, I'd say that I love the way she describes loneliness (even though she rarely uses the word "lonely") without any of the usual cliches. She does it in a way that many people, including me, can recognize the same signs in our own lives, like in her story "This Blessed House," with her description of the man who only used the top fork and knife in his silverware drawer.

If I could sit and talk with Judy Blume, I'd tell her that I had to hide her young adult books from my mother, due to the depictions of puberty and sex. My mother wouldn't even let me watch the movie My Girl, because she thought the one-second kiss between Macaulay Culkin and Anna Chlumsky would inspire me to get pregnant before junior high.

If I could sit and talk with Emily Gould, I'd tell her that she writes like a true New Yorker, and how much I envy her for living in New York. I live in a small Southern town where everyone apparently goes to bed by 9 P.M. and people drive around with large Confederate flags flying from their pickup trucks.

Most of all, if I could sit and talk with all of these writers, I'd sit back and listen to them talk about writing and books, and I'd feel happy just to be with them. 

What about you? If you could sit and talk with a writer that you admire, what would you say?

14 comments:

  1. Ooh, that's such a lovely list. I always feel too shy to say what I'd really like to say to authors I meet (since it would basically sound like a tween gushing over a boy band), so either I say nothing or, on the odd chance I can think of an intelligent question, I ask that...

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    1. Hi Deniz,
      It's hard to come up with something to say to those authors, especially at a book signing with a bunch of other people waiting to talk to the authors too. That's why it would be a dream come true to be able to have a one-on-one conversation with an admired writer.

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  2. The next time you get the chance to meet a writer, ask the question you want to know. Trust me, it means a lot to a writer to know their book meant something to someone. You might just make that writer's day.

    If I ever met Gena Showalter, I would probably feel so overwhelmed, no intelligent question would come out. I would probably just end up staring at her and coming across as a creepy stalker:)

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    1. Hi Murees,
      I'm just always afraid that I might say the wrong thing and offend the writer. But on the other hand it would be great to make a writer's day, especially since the good books they write often make mine.

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  3. Just do it. Please. You have no idea how much those questions/comments mean to writers. It's why we do what we do.

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    1. Hi Melanie,
      I think I just might do it at the next book signing I go to. I just have to come up with some questions, though unfortunately not a lot of authors come to the small town I live in.

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  4. I'd totally be asking for tips and pointers. Having been on the other side of the publishing line, I know how much it means when someone gushes about one of my stories or goes on about how they can't wait for the next, or poses questions I have to reply to with, "Spoilers!" Sure it can be intimidating to speak with someone you admire, but in the end, they're just another human being--as flawed as any other.

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    1. Hi Crystal,
      I'd love to get advice about writing and publishing from writers I admire. It's always fascinating to find out what their writing process is like, because it's like getting a glimpse of their daily life.

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  5. I know what you mean. To me, authors are like rock stars. When I do try to say something, it comes out like babble.

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    1. Hi Theresa,
      Once I saw some authors, including Dave Barry and Amy Tan, perform with their band, the Rock Bottom Remainders. I think I read somewhere that they formed the band partly because of their dream of becoming rock stars, though they mainly just perform for fun. Amy Tan was hilarious. She dressed up as a dominatrix and "whipped" the other guys onstage.

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  6. Lovely and interesting post indeed. Thanks for sharing, and greetings!

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    1. Hi Blogoratti,
      Greetings to you too. And thanks for reading my blog!

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  7. You know... I've never even thought of it, since my favorite authors hardly ever come to South Africa.

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    1. Hi Misha,
      They should come to South Africa; I bet they'd get a good audience there. A lot of authors I liked came to Chicago, but unfortunately that's not the case at all here in this small town I've moved to.

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