My Thirties Are Showing

1. In 1995, when My So-Called Life was still on the air, I was a year younger than the show's main character, Angela Chase. I, like, totally related to her teenage angst and her crush on Jordan Catalano.

In 2015, I am now closer in age to Angela's mother, and I think that Angela was a little too self-centered and spoiled. I also think Jordan Catalano needed a haircut.

2. I do not think guys in their early to mid-twenties are attractive, because they make me feel old.

3. I have no idea what Snapchat or Yik Yak is. I also don't understand why Instagram is interesting, because I really don't care what other people are having for lunch.

4. Listening to twenty-two-year olds talk about their weekend plans makes me think I would need to drink several energy drinks just to be able to stay up as late as they do.

5. My students stare blankly at me when I make pop cultural references to the nineties, because most of them were born at the end of that decade.

6. I started browsing online and in stores for beauty products that will make me look younger, because my face has wrinkles, probably from all the times I scowled at younger people who got on my nerves.

7. I can't even understand half of what younger people say, text, or Tweet these days. It's like they have their own language, using abbreviations like "OMG" and "ILY" and words like "totes" and "bae." I looked up the definition for "bae", and I found out that it means "Before Anyone Else." It's supposed to refer to your significant other. But "bae" is also the Danish word for "poop." (I don't think most younger people are aware of that.)

8. I didn't grow up using a cell phone like young people today do. So when students send me irate e-mails demanding to know why I haven't responded to their other e-mails, which they sent two or three hours before, I tell them it's because I don't check my phone 237 times an hour like they do.

9. I've always hated posing for pictures, which is one of the reasons I don't post any pictures of myself on my blog. So I don't get the obsession with taking selfies. It's like, "Hey, I'm out to dinner with my friends! I'm going to take a selfie," or "Hey, I'm shopping for new clothes! I'm going to take a selfie," or "Hey, I'm standing outside a café where people are being held hostage! I hope I look good in my selfie."

(I swear I'm not making the last one up. I heard about a situation where people were held hostage in a café, and while law enforcement officers were trying to rescue them, random civilians were standing nearby, posing for selfies. Could they be more insensitive and despicable? I wish I could have whapped their cell phones out of their hands with those selfie sticks that people are buying these days.)

10. Forty no longer seems old to me, since my thirty-fourth birthday is this Wednesday, which means my fortieth birthday is just six years away. I do, however, still hear the Jaws theme song whenever I think about turning forty.

What about you? When do you feel like your age is showing, or are there ever times where you don't understand the latest trend?