Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Age Is More Than Just a Number

1. When I was in college, I was innocent and naive enough to believe that my future career as a teacher would be like one of those inspirational teacher movies: some of the students might be difficult at first, but eventually, they would come around; I would inspire them to love literature and writing, like my English teachers inspired me.

Although I have taught many wonderful students and succeeded in inspiring them (and they, in turn, inspired me), there have also been many other students who never came around. In particular I was unprepared for some students' attitude that grades mattered more than learning. Before I started teaching, I didn't realize I'd get many nasty e-mails from students (and occasionally from their parents), demanding that I change their grades. I didn't anticipate the face-to-face confrontations with undergrads who threatened to get me in trouble with my bosses, unless I gave them the grades they wanted. I was shocked at many people's firm belief that if the students failed, it wasn't because of anything the students did wrong; it was the teacher's fault because she or he was a bad teacher (and yes, people have said that to my face).

I grew up (and I grew stronger) when I learned to stop letting them push me around. I learned to stand up for myself. I refused to back down, in spite of all the complaints, excuses, and threats, and I refused to change people's grades. I will admit, though, that some of these encounters left me shaken, angry, and frustrated as a result.

2. When I was in my twenties, I thought I could avoid credit card debt and student loans by working multiple jobs.

I grew up once I realized that even two or three part-time jobs were not necessarily enough to cover all my bills, and working so much often left me feeling exhausted and stressed out as a result. When my hours were cut at the stores where I worked or when I wasn't assigned enough classes, I couldn't earn enough money to pay my bills. As a result, I had to use credit cards (though I only used them for emergencies), and it took me years to pay off those debts (though I did pay them).

I grew up even more once I learned how to clip coupons, buy things on sale, to turn down some (though not all) offers from more affluent friends to go out on expensive outings, and save money.

I also finally broke my vow of avoiding student debt and applied for a small loan, though I was careful to set aside a third of it. That way I can use that amount to help pay off the loan once I complete my degree. I really DIDN'T want to get a loan, but after years of working multiple jobs, I knew I had to give myself a break.

3.When I was younger, I thought that even if I struggled financially as an English teacher, it would be worth it, as long as I loved my job.

I grew up once I realized that a passion for my work did not necessarily make up for all the financial struggles. When I was in high school and college, I didn't realize that I would have to work so many jobs just to make ends meet. I came to understand just how exploited, overworked, and underpaid most teachers are. The only thing that got me through was the fact that I genuinely loved teaching, and I still love it. It's the best job I've ever had, and I hope that I can continue doing it for the rest of my life.

But I know that I can't keep doing this forever. I can't keep working so hard at jobs that pay by the hour (which usually means the pay is extremely low) or accepting teaching jobs that don't provide long-term security or health insurance. I've finally realized that as much as I love teaching, I might have to pursue a different career if I don't find a full-time teaching job. It's SCARY, especially because all these years in academia have made me overqualified and underqualified for most jobs. I HATE the idea that I might not get to teach anymore, but it's a decision that as an adult, I might have to make when the time comes. (I still hope I won't have to make that decision.)

A lot of people claim that age is just a number. I don't agree with that, because who I was ten years ago isn't who I am now. You go through things as you get older that change you and that make you view the world in a different way.

It's my birthday today. I'm thirty-three years old. I still have a lot of growing up to do, but I definitely feel more grown-up now than I did ten years ago. It's not just because of my age; it's largely because of my work experiences, which made me see things from a more mature perspective.

What about you? What made you grow up, and how did that experience differ from what you thought it would be when you were younger?

16 comments:

  1. Having kids made me grow up. Financial struggles as well. Sometimes you can't avoid the problems you swore wouldn't happen to you. But you can work through them and keep going, and that's what matters. :)
    Happy Birthday!!

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    1. Hi Rachel,
      Thanks! Parenthood is definitely an important part of adulthood, because kids are the most important responsibilities that an adult will ever have. I've been trying to work through my problems; I wish I had a "how-to" book that could help me get through adulthood.

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  2. Happy Birthday. And I hear you...now I also feel really grown up. Not age but life experience does that.

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    1. Hi Romance Book Haven,
      Thanks! I thought I was grown up when I was in college, but my sense of adulthood has changed since then.

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  3. Happy birthday! I've been following your blog for quite awhile now and feel like I've been through some of these experiences with you. Wishing you a wonderful year!

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    1. Hi Karen,
      Thanks! And thank you for following my blog for so long; that really means a lot to me! I hope my 33rd year will be a good one, and I hope that it will be better than the last couple years.

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  4. I'm older than you and I still haven't grown up. I plan not to in some areas ;)

    Happy birthday!

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    1. Hi Lynda,
      Thanks! I think my iPod playlists are evidence that I haven't completely grown up either, because the music I like is also enjoyed by teenagers. :)

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  5. Happy birthday week :-)
    You're right - it's experiences that make us grow more than the passage of years. Wonder what I'd say to my 21-year-old self now?

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    1. Hi Deniz,
      Thanks! I wish I could talk to my 21-year-old self, because then I might have been able to steer the younger me in a different direction and avoid certain mistakes.

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  6. Happy belated birthday! I'm going to be sixty four this summer. Advice to my much younger self...Don't worry so much and don't be afraid of failing. You really can pick yourself up.

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    1. Hi Carol,
      Thanks! I wish I didn't worry so much; I've been neurotic for so long that it's hard to break the habit of worrying. And happy early birthday to you!

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  7. Happy Belated Birthday! I don't think I *really* grew up until I turned 30 and got married. Until then I drifted around to different jobs looking for whatever it is that I wanted to do. While those years felt wasted, I know I wouldn't be where I am if I hadn't had those experiences.

    Now I'm 40 and I feel OLD, but I know that it's all in my head. The best is yet to come.

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    1. Hi Kari Marie,
      Thanks! And sorry about my late reply! It's been a very long day. I hope that the best is yet to come for you and for me too, because the past few years have been very difficult for me. I feel like I've been drifting too, because I worked so many jobs. I did learn a lot from those jobs, but it would have been easier if I could have just had one job.

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  8. Perspective can only be gained through experience, and experience can only happen over time, so yeah, age definitely does matter. I'm still in the process of growing up...so I'm not sure it'll ever happen.

    I remember the year I turned 33---I went to Europe for the first time. I couldn't afford it, and I got judged by so many people because I abandoned my two pre-schoolers for a week (hey, what are grandma's for if not to babysit?) but I was tired of waiting and was afraid that if I didn't do it right then, I never would. And I've never, ever regretted it.

    I don't think you're ever going to regret any of the decisions you make either, because you do it all with a very level head.

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    1. Hi Nicki,
      Thank you! And I think it's wonderful that you went to Europe; that sounds like it must have been a great experience. Those people shouldn't have judged you, especially because it might have been more difficult for you to once your kids got older. I went to Europe when I was twenty; I've always wanted to go back. The people there seemed to be so much more relaxed, and when I was there, it was the closest I ever came to feeling relaxed.

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