Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Why I Am a Teetotaler

Last weekend, Chicagoans celebrated St. Patrick's Day early by dyeing the Chicago River green and having a big parade in the Loop. I didn't go to the parade, but I did see people all over my neighborhood dressed up like giant leprechauns.

Even though I had a lot of work to do (as usual), I agreed to go barhopping with a group of friends. I rarely drink alcohol; in fact, the last time I had a drink was a year and a half ago, when I attended my cousin's wedding in New Orleans. The night before the wedding, my younger cousins dragged me to Bourbon Street with them and made me have a cocktail; I drank a third of it and then secretly poured out the rest in the street when they weren't looking.

Last Saturday, I caved in to my friends' teasing about how I am a teetotaler and drank a few cocktails. I didn't get drunk, though; with each cocktail I drank, I drank a Coke, because I figured that the stimulant (caffeine) would counteract the depressant (alcohol). Each time I ordered a Coke for the first time at a different bar, the bartender would get this puzzled look on his or her face for a moment; one of them said, "Okay, but what do you want me to put IN the Coke?"

My friends and pretty much everyone else at the bars we went to, however, DID get drunk. I watched as everyone else's movements grew looser and more relaxed. I listened to their voices become slurred and louder. A lot of people became really rowdy. Some other guys at the bars got really aggressive, which happens at every club and bar. It's like, "Just because you're drunk, that does NOT mean you have the right to paw at me, so get your frickin' hands OFF me before I make you walk around with a limp for the next three days!"

I had been having fun hanging out with my friends, laughing and talking about what was going on in our lives and with our work. But the tone of the evening changed after they got drunk.

It reminded me of when I was in high school and attended my first "drinking party", which was held at a farm, and everyone got drunk in a field (what? I grew up in a small Midwestern town). No one was driving that night, because everyone slept over at the host's house. I was the only one who didn't drink any alcohol, and I watched as everyone guzzled beer, ran around, and yelled at the top of their lungs. I drove home early (I was sober, after all) so that I wouldn't have to watch them anymore.

When I was in college, I went to parties where there was alcohol. When I was in my twenties, I went with friends to bars and clubs that served alcohol too, of course. Occasionally I gave in to peer pressure and drank a cocktail, a beer, or a shot. I never had more than one or two drinks, though, and I never got drunk, only "tipsy". I didn't like the way alcohol tasted. I didn't like the way it made me feel when I drank it, because I knew that it lowered my inhibitions and it meant I wasn't fully in control of my actions. As a Type A personality, I am a total control freak and I HATE it if anything or anyone tries to control me.

I used to think that part of being young meant clubbing and barhopping; often, TV shows that feature young people show them drinking and having fun. For example, the characters on How I Met Your Mother apparently spend 90% of their time at a bar.

I used to think that I was "boring" compared to them, because I never felt comfortable in that kind of atmosphere. I preferred to hang out in a cafĂ© or a bookstore, or go out for dinner with a few friends. Caffeine became my vice instead of alcohol, which is why I have become addicted to coffee and Coke (not "coke" with a lower-case C! I feel like if I ever did any of THOSE drugs I'd end up trying to climb the walls of my classroom and then my students would think I'm even MORE weird!). One of the reasons I moved to Chicago was because there are so many things to do here that DON'T involve alcohol.

So I stopped pretending to like alcohol, clubs, and bars. I still go to bars occasionally with friends, though I order soda 99% of the time. But I don't feel like I should have to apologize for the fact that I am a teetotaler, and I don't think it gives people the right to make fun of me or pressure me to "loosen up" and drink. I admit, though, that even though I resent people who judge me for being a teetotaler, I couldn't help judging people at the bars that night for getting drunk.

What about you? What do you think of the bar scene and drinking?

16 comments:

  1. Like you, I grew up in a small midwestern town where drinking was about all kids had to do. Every year, kids in the Senior class, often star athletes or promising students headed to college, died in alcohol-related accidents. In college drinking parties was how everyone unwound on the weekend. My first drinking party at college swore me off alcohol for the same reasons you mention-- seeing the behavior of those around me and not wanting to be like that. I distinctly remember looking around me and seeing everyone as either obnoxious, party-mentality out of control "woo-hoo let's have some fun!!!!" (what does that even MEAN anyway?), or depressed and morose. I didn't fit into any of those categories nor did I want to, so I decided right then I'd not go to any of those parties or even drink at all because what was the point?

    The fact that people who do drink keep trying to "loosen" everyone up who is NOT drinking is appalling to me.

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    1. Hi Karen,
      That's so sad that those kids died because of alcohol; you'd think that with everything we know about alcohol abuse these days, the accidents wouldn't happen as often anymore, but they still do.
      I think it's okay if other people want to drink every now and then, but it's tough to be the only sober person at a party where everyone else is intoxicated. I joke about how caffeine affects my behavior, but I still don't like it when some people use alcohol as an "excuse" to do stupid things.
      I'm glad that I'm not the only one who avoids parties like the ones you described as much as possible.

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  2. I like alcohol - okay, that sounds weird. I like beer, and single malt scotch and a fruity cocktail if it doesn't cost 12$, but I don't like the idea of getting blitzed out of my mind and on the odd occasion when my friends do that it's always me that watches out for them. Getting kinda tipsy is fun as long as I'm 100% sure of how I'm getting home!
    They dyed the whole river? Along its entire length? How? (And was it environmentally friendly? :-))

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    1. Hi Deniz,
      Yup, they dye the river green; it's been a Chicago tradition for decades. I think it wasn't always environmentally friendly, but in the 90s they started putting something in the dye so that it wouldn't negatively affect the river. The dye only lasts for a few hours.
      It's not weird to like alcohol. There's nothing wrong with drinking; I just meant that for me, it's never been something I've liked, and for a long time I thought I was weird for not liking alcohol. Now I know I was wrong.

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  3. Ha! I thought this was the first time they'd dyed it. Kind of a neat tradition!

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  4. I hate that culture. Hate the NZ culture of binge drinking. I don't mind the very odd girly drink (maybe a couple times a year) but aside from that I like to stay away from caffeine, booze, etc.

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    1. Hi eemusings,
      I don't mind the girly drinks either, especially because they're usually sweet and cover up the taste of alcohol. I can't stay away from caffeine, though, because I work so much and need to stay alert. I try not to drink too much caffeine every day, though.

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  5. I like pubs, I like wine and lager and cider. I also know my limits - although it took me a while to figure them out! There's nothing that screams "SUMMER IS HERE" like a fruity glass of Pimms... Ah, summer....

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  6. Meh. To each his or her own. I personally am a huge fan of alcohol and think that it is a great equalizer and shows a lot about a person's true self. Chatting with people over a few drinks helps lubricate the situation and make us reveal more and is generally just a jollier time. Obviously sometimes people get out of hand, but most of the adults I drink with know how to drink responsibly, thankfully, haha.

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    1. Hi mmarinaa,
      I think that alcohol to some people is what coffee and Coke are to me; that is, a lot of people don't like caffeine and can't understand why I like it, and I have the same attitude towards alcohol. So like you said, to each his or her own.
      By the way, are you on Twitter? I thought I saw your username on there, but I wasn't sure if that was you.

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  7. Well, I do enjoy a good glass of wine, but I hate getting drunk. Plus, I get killer hangovers, so it's really not worth it!

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    1. Hi Talli,
      You remind me of people I met when I visited France years ago; they enjoyed a glass of wine every now and then, but I never saw them get drunk. I thought that was cool.

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  8. Wow, I could have written this post almost verbatim. I have never been a drinker--even in my younger days. Alcohol does nothing for me except render me feeling like garbage. Not that it never happens, it's just exceedingly rare.

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    1. Hi Tara,
      Alcohol doesn't make me feel good either. I prefer caffeine, which definitely makes me more alert and hyper (though I know I shouldn't drink too much of it), but at least when I drink coffee or Coke, I still have full control over my actions, unlike on the rare occasions I drink alcohol.

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    2. I was thinking the same thing (I could have sworn I wrote this post)! I do not like the taste of alcohol at all, and clubs and bars bore me within 10 mins. For the longest time, I felt like there was something wrong with me, especially when most of my friends couldn't wait to pull out the beer (or stronger). The last time I got tipsy was in September of last year--and that "lovely" moment should last me a few decades. I think I'm a failure to my Irish ancestors.

      It's nice to know there are others who don't feel the need to drink either. :-)

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    3. Hi Mind of B,
      I don't think you're a failure to your Irish ancestors; after all, Irish people are known for a lot of other cool things too.
      Like you, the drinks I had the other night should be enough to last me for a while...a long while.

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