1. Try not to think about Cathy from the comic strip, who was known for being single but eventually got married, because that means even a comic strip character is ahead of you.
2. When your mother calls to tell you about ANOTHER woman your age (or younger) who's getting married, tell her, "Yes, she may be getting married, but does SHE know all the lyrics to every one of Britney's hit singles? So it's not like I haven't accomplished ANYTHING in my thirties."
3. Watch episodes of Sex and the City, because although it did focus on the women's pursuit of love, it also showed that being single in your thirties wasn't the worst thing in the world.
4. When your unrequited crush starts talking to you, imagine that he's Honey Boo Boo giving an interview, so that you're much more likely to cringe and walk away quickly.
5. Eat some of the candy that goes on sale after Valentine's Day, and then go to the gym so that you don't have to feel guilty about eating all that chocolate.
6. The next time some creep on the street yells out something profane to you, yell back, "I've already picked out the names for our children!" Then laugh as he runs away.
7. Hang out with your other single friends and rant about all your married friends.
8. Compose a new online dating profile that says stuff like, "I'm looking for a guy who is okay with the fact that I will never be a size 4" or "I'm looking for a 30-something guy who actually accepts the fact that he's getting older and doesn't reject all the 30-something women for all the 20-something women" or "I'm looking for someone who I can grow old and mock people with."
9. Think of all the wrong guys that you dated, and congratulate yourself for not ending up with any of them.
10. Make a list of all the things that make you happy, so that you don't have to focus as much on the one thing that's missing from it.
What about you? Do you celebrate Valentine's Day? And if you do, how are you going to celebrate it?
Links worth clicking - I woke up on Friday feeling absolutely overjoyed with the world. And then the Internet proceeded to give me roughly a million more things to be happy about...
1 day ago