Monday, January 6, 2014

I (Do Not) Resolve

I resolve to write fiction and creative nonfiction more regularly.

I do not resolve to write fiction and creative nonfiction every day, because I have to work on my other book (my dissertation), which may as well be titled The Book with One Million Footnotes or The Book That No One (Including Me) Will Want to Read.

I resolve to use my envy of other people's success to motivate myself to achieve my own goals.

I do not resolve to never be envious again, especially since I wish I had other women's hair at least 537 times a week and I can literally feel my eyes turning green whenever the other grad students go on and on about their academic accomplishments. I think that jealousy is part of human nature, and it's impossible to say that I'll never envy anyone again. I think the important thing is to learn to deal with it in a more productive way, rather than in a "I'm going to kick you if you make me feel bad about my lack of academic accomplishments ONE more time" way.

I resolve to send my work out to more literary magazines and writing competitions. I'm still working on two novels, but a lot of writers have advised fiction writers like me to send short stories out to literary magazines first. They say you don't need an agent for those, and this way I can assemble a portfolio to show potential agents when the time comes. For a long time I kept my writing hidden away in my notebooks and on my computer. But this past year, when I sent a story to a literary magazine, I received an encouraging rejection letter. The editors said that they were impressed with my writing and that even though that particular story wasn't right for them, they encouraged me to send them another one. And THAT made me feel good. Even though I got rejected, it made me feel like a writer.

I do not resolve to tell certain people about my dream of becoming a writer, especially because I prefer to keep my writing life a secret (outside of the blogosphere, that is). I tried to tell a few people before, but they either ridiculed my goal or made me feel like my writing would never be good enough. Obviously, I told the wrong people.

I like making resolutions every year, because it makes me feel like the new year is full of promise; in a way, it gives us a chance to make a fresh start. But I also think it's important to be realistic about the kinds of resolutions you make, which is why I would never resolve to win American Idol (especially because my voice makes people cover their ears and run away) or to win the heart of the new Bachelor (especially because I really DON'T want someone who murmurs sweet nothings in the ears of two dozen other women at the same time that he's "dating" me).

What about you? Did you make any resolutions this year? 

8 comments:

  1. I love these resolutions! I think they're completely realistic and well thought out. Good for you! If I could, I'd wish you another woman's hair, so instead I'll wish you a very fruitful and fun 2014!

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    1. Hi Emily,
      Thanks! I hope that 2014 will be fruitful and fun; 2013 was a difficult year for me, so I'm going to try to make sure that this year is better.

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  2. I didn't make any resolutions this year, but only because I'm lazy.

    I think your list is doable. Even more, I think it's important that you recognize your strengths and weaknesses. It's hard not to get jealous, but it does us no good. Inspiration versus coveting. Inspiration is good.

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    1. Hi Theresa,
      I've been reading more good books lately, which definitely inspires me; it inspires me to write my own good book. You're right that it's important to recognize my strengths and weaknesses. My problem was that I spent most of 2013 focusing mainly on my weaknesses and not enough time on my strengths. I want to do the opposite of that in 2014.

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  3. please don't kick me!! you're one smart cookie...you know that?? I hope you do. I love that you are tough with your goals to say yeah I set them but I can also show that I'm not to be played. man, I love you tenacious attitude!!

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    1. Hi Tammy,
      Thanks for your kind words! Sometimes being in grad school makes me feel like I'm not smart, though; everyone else seems like they know what they're doing and I usually don't. But this year I'm trying to focus more on just getting my work done so that I can finally be free of graduate school.

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  4. Good luck with the short story submissions - I love competitions and literary magazines :-)

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    1. Hi Annalisa,
      Thanks! It's hard for me to write short stories, though; the manuscript for my first novel was originally a short story but I kept coming up with more stuff that I wanted to write about.

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