Monday, April 22, 2013

Trial and Error

At the end of every term, I usually bring doughnuts, cookies, or cupcakes for my students. The fact that they are also filling out course evaluations on the same day that I bring treats for them is purely coincidental.

Before I started teaching, I was naive enough to think that it would be like one of those inspirational teacher movies. If you've ever seen one of them, then you know what they're usually like. The teacher is confronted by angry, disrespectful students at first, but by the end of the movie they're singing together, starring in plays that the teacher directs, writing in journals that the teacher provides, or eagerly reading more books, studying, and earning A's because their teacher inspired them to.

Well. Several years and many classes later, I still work hard to teach and inspire my students. But I'd also love it if they would look up from their cell phones more often without my telling them to do so.

College teachers do not usually receive the same training that high school teachers and elementary school teachers do. I took one class on how to teach college writing, and that was it. I think one reason is that professors have to be scholars and teachers, and most of the focus is on our research. (And yet most grad students spend a lot of time teaching, not to mention all the teaching we'll be doing once we complete our degrees.)

Although I do think that college teachers should receive more training, at the same time a lot of what you learn from teaching can't be learned from books or lectures. A lot of it is based on trial and error. Each class helps me figure out what works and what doesn't. A lot of the mistakes I made that first year (including the one I most regret, which was that I let a few disrespectful students walk all over me) are mistakes that I would never make now.

That's one reason why those course evaluations that the students fill out are helpful. The students provide feedback on what they thought of the course and my work as a teacher. Sometimes they do write constructive criticism, like what they thought of the books we studied, or they'll suggest other books they thought should have been included.

When I first started teaching years ago, I did receive some negative evaluations. One of them said something like, "I think we should spend more time watching movies in class and less time reading books." Another student wrote, "I don't see the point in studying grammar. It's really not that important." More than one student wrote, "I don't think it's such a big deal if I show up late or don't show up at all sometimes." (Seriously. I'd love to hear those students say that to their bosses.)

There were some evaluations that were more than negative; they were nasty. One student said the department should fire me, because I was a terrible professor. He said that he knew more about teaching the class than I did, even though he wasn't even an English major and he had no teaching experience. (Right. And the fact that I had majored in English in college, graduated with honors, earned a master's degree in English, and had taught several classes by then meant that I was less qualified.)

When I was still starting out as a teacher, the negative evaluations crushed me. It wasn't like I didn't receive any positive evaluations during my early years in education, because I did. But somehow the negative comments stayed with me. I talked to other teachers, and they said that they received bad feedback too; it was part of the college teaching experience.

I still receive a few negative evaluations here and there, though a lot fewer than before. Usually the negative evaluations are from students who are unhappy because I refused to give them grades they didn't earn. (Side note: The strong sense of entitlement that several - though not all - college students have surprised me the most once I started teaching. I never thought that students would try to argue with me over their grades, or that they would try to pressure me to change them. I never thought that students would threaten to go to my boss and complain if I didn't change their grades. But I stood my ground and refused to back down. I told them that the grades I gave them were the grades they earned, not the grades they thought they deserved.)

I recently read the evaluations that were filled out by the students in classes I taught last fall. I was pleased that the majority of them were positive. One student wrote, "She's so funny! And she's always so animated in class." (It's true. I'm happiest in classrooms, bookstores, and any place that sells a lot of caffeine.)

Another student wrote, "She was always available to help, both in class and after. I love her." (I'm sure that when the student wrote, "I love her", it was meant in a platonic way, and not in one of those creepy Lifetime movies of the week that has a title like Forbidden Love way.)

One of the students wrote, "I really learned a lot from her. I didn't even like to read before I took this class, but she helped me understand the books more easily, and I actually enjoyed it. She's a great teacher." (That comment in particular made my day. I'd been feeling discouraged over my dissertation, so it made me feel happy to know that at least I was doing something right.)

Teaching is a difficult job. It isn't like one of those inspirational teacher movies, but it can also be very rewarding. I've learned more from teaching and from my students than I have from anything else. It's the one thing that has kept me going through the nine circles of Hell (also known as grad school) all these years. I just hope that I can get my dissertation approved eventually, so that I can finally JUST MOVE ON to the next phase of my life, and continue doing what I do and love best: teach.

What about you? What kinds of things have you learned from your job? How do you feel about feedback, whether it's positive or negative? For example, if you're a published writer, how do you feel about those online reviews of your work?

24 comments:

  1. This is an excellent post. I was a TA while doing my MSc. Fortunately there were workshops to help TA's do a better job, but it really wasn't the same as the training teachers go through. No wonder professors aren't usually the best teachers.

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    1. Hi Stina,
      I've heard from other grad students at other schools that it's sometimes difficult for them to get in touch with their professors, because their professors are often off campus working on books and articles or attending conferences. Research is something that they have to do to get tenure and make a name for themselves, but teaching is important too. I was so nervous before I taught my first class years ago. I was afraid that everyone would be able to tell that I was still learning how to teach.

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  2. When I was a TA in college, I found the evaluations helpful and wished I had more training to teach. It's all, "Publish or perish." Then when I went to school for teaching, I got more training, but little feedback. At the end of the year, I created my own evaluations for the students, so I would know how I was doing.

    It's nice to be loved, especially if it's in a not-scary way!

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    1. Hi Theresa,
      I wish there wasn't so much emphasis on academic publications, because I think that teaching makes a difference. But then again, I'm biased because I enjoy teaching a lot more than academic research.

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  3. I am so happy that you got such positive evaluations from your students! That should prove that you're on the right career path. Now just to make it through the last bit and you'll be on your way.

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    1. Hi Karen,
      The meeting with two of the people from my dissertation committee made me doubt the path that I've taken, but reading these evaluations from my students made me feel better. I plan to devote this summer to my dissertation, because I really want to get it done.

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  4. Awesome comments from your students. The biggest thrill in my day job as a gym instructor is when a customer asks for me by name to do their next review, and then don't use another trainer :-)

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    1. Hi Annalisa,
      That's great when customers ask for you; that shows that they trust your judgment and that they know they can learn from you.

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  5. Before I got reviews, I thought I wouldn't handle reading them very well. But now that I get them, I'm totally fine with it. Everyone has a right to their opinion.

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    1. Hi Lynda,
      It's true that everyone has a right to their opinion, especially because a variety of perspectives can be very educational. There have been a few students in the past, though (though none from the classes I taught last fall) who made false claims about me in their evaluations. For example, one student claimed that I wasn't available to meet after class, but I always set aside extra time to help students.

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  6. As I was reading this I was thinking that receiving those evaluations must be very much what it feels like to read an online review of my books. And like you, even when the bulk of the comments are positive, of course I dwell on the negative.

    These were wonderful evaluations you posted here - only a good teacher could receive them.

    I've tagged you in a blog award thingy at my place. No pressure to follow up on it, but if you do, I'd love to read your answers. :)

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    1. Hi Nicki,
      Thanks for tagging me! I'll pop over to your blog later and check it out.
      It's hard not to dwell on the negative comments, but I think that if I dwell on them too much, I'm letting the students who wrote them get to me. And I don't want to do that.

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  7. I was a high school teacher right before kids started having smartphones. They had the little flip phones but I can't even imagine dealing with the smartphone distraction!

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    1. Hi Nina,
      I think that if cell phones were banned altogether from the classroom, the students would learn a lot more because they'd be less distracted. And I would be less stressed out, because I wouldn't have to keep telling them to put down their cell phones.

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  8. You must be doing something right! It feels good to be praised now and then, doesn't it? But at the same time, it's good to know what you're doing wrong, too. If no one tells you, how can you improve?

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    1. Hi Emily,
      The evaluations that include constructive criticism are helpful, because they let me know which books the students like and which ones they think I should include next time. The ones with mean comments, though, aren't helpful; I think I read or heard somewhere that those mean comments reveal more about the people making those comments than about the person they're talking about.

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  9. Having been on the other side, I always struggled to say something positive. Why is it easier to comment on an evaluation if you have something to complain about? I don't know. I was lucky that I never *did* have anything to complain about, but I could never seem to say anything better than "thanks, great class." Which isn't very constructive...

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    1. Hi Deniz,
      I remember that I didn't have a lot of suggestions for those course evaluations when I was an undergrad. One reason was that I was afraid that if I wrote something that was negative the professor would figure out that it was me, even though the evaluations were anonymous.

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  10. "less time reading books"? "didn't like to read"? Why are these kids even in college, let alone studying English??

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    1. Hi Deniz,
      I think that one reason some students wrote stuff like that was because some of the classes I've taught have been part of the core requirements. The students are required to take these classes, but some of them would rather take other classes.

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  11. I had similar delusions of importance when I started working as a news reporter. I thought I'd instigate societal change like all the journalism greats and have a great working relationship with readers and sources.

    It didn't quiiiite turn out like that.

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    1. Hi Stephanie,
      People like those journalism greats should write more books about what it was like for them when they were starting out. Then it would give readers a chance to find out what journalism is really like. I wish I had read more memoirs about teaching before I started working; they're usually more realistic than those inspirational teacher movies.

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  12. Good job! Teaching is such a tough gig that I'm always super impressed when someone can do it well. :-)

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    1. Hi Misha,
      Thanks! Teaching was toughest for me during my first year or two. It got a little easier over time, but I don't think it'll ever be free of challenges. That's the nature of the job, I suppose.

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