Monday, August 27, 2012

Writing Classes

For the past few years I've been taking one-night classes at StoryStudio, a great place that offers writing classes. I've also gone to a couple "write-a-thons", where for twelve bucks I can eat snacks and work on my manuscripts in the company of other writers. I'd like to take one of StoryStudio's longer writing workshops, but those cost more money that I don't have.

I've mentioned before that my first experience with a writing class was less than favorable. I took a workshop in college, and one of my classmates accused me of plagiarizing my story in front of the whole class, which I definitely did NOT do. The irony was that another classmate had actually plagiarized her story by copying an entire chapter from a popular novel. (I was apparently the only one who caught it, but unfortunately it was long after the class ended. To this day I wish I could confront that plagiarist for what she did.) I didn't like that class, not only because that other classmate had humiliated me in front of everyone else, but also because several of the other students were unkind in their criticism. The stories I wrote weren't very good, but there's a difference between constructive criticism and brutal honesty. 

But fortunately, it's not like that at all in the StoryStudio classes I've taken. The instructors and the other students have been very encouraging, and I've enjoyed the writing exercises. One of my favorite classes was called "Quickies", where we learned to write flash fiction (very short stories). Another favorite class was taught by a former staff member for The New Yorker, who told us what it was like to work for the magazine and gave us submission tips.

It made me think about other things that I wish writing classes would cover, but I've never had the nerve to voice my suggestions. Here are a few of them.

1. How to deal with your jealousy of other more successful writers in ways that do not include writing their names in the stalls of public bathrooms.

2. How to stop procrastinating so much, because it can drive you to watch episodes of Jersey Shore. The problem with that is that some of your characters may end up talking, looking, partying, and falling down in public like Snooki.

3. Why writing parodies like 50 Shades of Tie-Dye may not be the best idea.

4. Ideas for what to do when you take a break from writing that do not include watching episodes of Keeping up with the Kardashians or Mob Wives.

5. Ideas for good songs to write to, because the problem with writing to the music of people like Britney and Lady Gaga is that your characters may end up wearing weird clothes, being married for only fifty-five hours, or breaking out into synchronized dance moves.

6. How to deal with distractions like noisy neighbors in ways that do not include sending them "YOU SUCK" messages on Twitter.

7. How to balance writing and your daily responsibilities, so that you don't end up tripping over piles of dirty laundry or eating candy for dinner.

8. How to write in cafes without whapping Wi-Fi freeloaders in the face with your notebook.

9. Good day jobs for writers that do not make you want to primal scream at the end of each workday.

10. How to deal with writer's block so that you don't feel tempted to give up on writing and audition for a reality show, because then you might become friends with the Kardashians or the Mob Wives.

What about you? Have you ever taken any writing classes? What do you think of writing classes in general?

Here's a funny clip of Ellen DeGeneres reading excerpts from 50 Shades of Grey:

 

16 comments:

  1. If you see the name "Neurotic Workaholic" in the ladies room down the street, you know I left it there. :)

    I think staying educated as a writer is as important as any other craft or vocation. The more knowledge, the better!

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    1. Hi Emily,
      Tee hee, you could write, "For a neurotic time, call..."
      I've definitely gained a lot of useful knowledge from the writing classes, even the one that I took in college. I always brought a notebook with me so that I'd be able to jot down the writing advice given by the teachers.

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  2. I LOVE your list! I would love to see a blog post on each of these topics when you find out the answers :)

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    1. Hi Angela,
      Thanks! I think that if I did have a Twitter page, I just might send mean messages to my noisy neighbors. It'd be interesting to see if they respond.

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  3. Oh my God, that writing class sounds horrific! Yours sound much more relevant - I'd definitely sign up for one of them! I've never taken any official classes but I have gone to several workshops through the UK's RNA. People are lovely and supportive there.

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    1. Hi Talli,
      I think it'd be cool to go to a workshop through the RNA; it'd be interesting to read the love stories that other people wrote. Workshops are more productive when people are supportive of each other, especially since we're all learning how to write.

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  4. HA, yes, answer #7, writing classes!

    That woman who accused you of plagiarizing was obviously having some guilt-ridden crisis. There's nothing worse than a bad writing class and nothing more wonderful than one that make you a better writer.

    That said, I haven't taken too many classes. I've done workshops at NE-SCBWI conferences, which have all been great experiences. Way back I shared a story of the jock who accused me of being a lesbian because I said we couldn't ship all gay people to their own island to get rid of gays. That wasn't fun. But it was his essay-not mine.

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    1. Hi Theresa,
      Actually, the woman who falsely accused me wasn't the one who plagiarized, but I wish I had caught the plagiarism sooner so that I could have confronted the so-called writer who was guilty of it. I remember reading the stories of the woman who accused me in class; she wasn't that much better at writing than I was, though she acted like she was.
      That's mean that that guy accused you of being gay; people like that should be held accountable for what they say.

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  5. Haha - let me know if you ever get any answers to those questions. That Ellen bit is also hilarious.

    I tried taking a creative writing class at the local community college a loooong time ago, but I dropped it. I can't remember exactly why now - either it wasn't what I'd expected or it just didn't fit into my schedule. Apparently I haven't felt compelled to take another since.

    I'm very happy you found a better set of classes now. :) I can't understand why anyone would intentionally plagiarize - what fun is that?

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    1. Hi Nicki,
      I love Ellen. She's so funny. You're right that plagiarism takes the fun out of writing. I mean, a plagiarist can't even really take credit for her work (though that student in the class I took certainly did), because it's not really her work. And part of the joy of writing is the writing itself.

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  6. Your list is awesome! And I love that video of Ellen. I haven't taken too many writing classes. I would be livid if anyone accused me of plagiarism.

    I LOVE Neurotic Workaholic :)

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    1. Hi Carol,
      Aw, thanks! :) It really bothered me when that girl accused me of plagiarism, especially since it's something I would never do. I told that girl that I didn't plagiarize the story, but she made it clear that she didn't believe me. I want to be recognized for my own work, not someone else's.

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  7. lol, I love your list of things writing classes should cover. Maybe you could start up your own class!

    I have attended a few classes. Some were awesome, others not so much. It varies.

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    1. Hi Lynda,
      One reason I took several one-night classes at StoryStudio was because I was trying to decide whether or not to sign up for a longer workshop. I wasn't sure if it would be awesome. But after taking all those classes, now I know that taking a longer workshop at StoryStudio would be really cool. It would've sucked if I had committed to a longer workshop somewhere else and ended up not enjoying it.

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  8. Argh... if only I was better at avoiding distractions...

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    1. Hi Deniz,
      It is hard to avoid distractions; the Internet is one of my biggest distractions. I seem to recall that I had a lot more free time before I started using the Internet on a regular basis.

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