Friday, December 17, 2010

The Blame Game

Dear Professor,
  I just wanted you to know that if I don't get at least a B in this class, my parents won't pay for my tuition anymore. I really don't want to have to drop out of school and flip burgers for the rest of my life just because of your class. I just thought you should know about my situation.

Dear Professor,
  I hope that my grade won't be lowered just because I was absent for three weeks. I think my absences shouldn't count against my grade because I always had a good excuse for not being in class. It's not my fault if my alarm clock doesn't work. And besides, as long as I get the homework done, does it really matter if I'm in class?

Dear Professor,
  I'm writing to let you know that I'm going to report you to the department chair if you don't raise my grade. You weren't always clear in your instructions to the class, so that's why I didn't do very well in my assignments.

Dear Professor,
  I don't think you calculated my grade correctly. It really shouldn't be that low. I didn't buy the textbook for this class, but I got most of the information from Wikipedia. That's pretty much the same, isn't it?

Dear Professor,
  Did I get a C because I was sleeping in class? I wasn't really sleeping. I was just concentrating with my eyes closed.

At the end of the term, I always get a handful of "grade complaint" e-mails from students who are so SHOCKED because they didn't get the stellar grades they felt they were entitled to. (What really bugs me is when they say, "You didn't give me the grade I deserved." Hearing that makes me want to go out and steal someone's snowman.)

I always write detailed feedback on their assignments, and I talk to students regularly about their progress in my classes. That way, there are no surprises at the end of the semester. Nevertheless, I still get grade complaint e-mails from students who are always convinced that I did something wrong. What bothers me is they don't take responsibility for their own work (or lack thereof).

When I was in college, I got a D on a major math test. Although I excelled in my English classes, I was so bad at math that the sight of a calculator was enough to make me run away screaming. I went to my math professor for help and set up extra appointments to go over stuff in class that I was struggling with. I also got help from math tutors, and I spent hours on my homework. By the end of the semester, I ended up with a B as my final grade.

And fortunately, I do have some students who are like this. They try hard, and they ask me, "What can I do to raise my grade?" and not "I think you made a mistake with my grade." (But I do hear that statement a lot.) When students ask me the first question, it shows that they're taking responsibility for themselves and that they're taking the initiative to work hard and earn good grades. And that is something.

I'd like to say that I never played the blame game. But I have, and sometimes I still do. For example, I've been feeling upset lately because I haven't made as much progress on my dissertation as I should have by now. It would be easier to place the blame on anyone else but myself.

"It's not my fault I didn't finish a draft of my dissertation. The department puts a lot of pressure on the graduate students to accomplish a lot of things in a limited amount of time."

"I couldn't work on my draft. I had to go to the gym every other day, and it's important to work on my health. Going to the gym had NOTHING to do with all the cute guys who work out there. I barely even notice them."

"How could I do research when I had appointments with students, papers to grade and classes to teach? I can't just ignore my students, because how are they supposed to learn if I don't teach them? Not to mention I don't want to end up on one of those rate your professor websites. Again."

"Since I don't earn enough to live on as an instructor, I had all these extra projects to complete for my website job. What, am I just supposed to tell my employer no? I do that and I lose that extra paycheck."

"I can't help it if I didn't get as much work done as I could have. I've been working on a very intricate plot to rule the world, and I should be able to carry it out within the next two years or so. I've been busy."

It would be very easy to blame anyone or anything but myself. And sometimes things really were beyond my control. But one thing I've learned about growing up is that I have to accept responsibility for my mistakes and not blame them on someone else. Like I wrote in an earlier post, I can't make excuses, and I can't keep blaming other people. How else will I learn from my mistakes, so that I can get it right the next time around?

14 comments:

  1. I loved your examples... are those real (I'm praying they're made up for your sake).

    I totally do this. Everyone does. Blaming someone else will make you feel better for a minute, but in the end it always comes back to you and what you have to do to get stuff done.

    Good luck on your dissertation by the way!

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  2. Smiles on the blame e-mails. People are funny, aren't they? Best of luck on your dissertation and thanks for the great and thought provoking blog. Cheers~

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  3. They'll find out later on that the more they try to excuse their faulty decisions, the more trouble they'll have. It's really sad that they come up w/ such lame excuses. I'm sure you could cite lots of other reasons but you only have so much space!

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  4. Hi Lisa,
    I didn't quote the students' e-mails verbatim, but I have received some variation of these types of messages more than once. And actually, I've received messages that were even worse than these ones.

    Hi Nancy,
    Thanks! Maybe one day I won't have to worry about getting e-mails like this anymore. If only, right?

    Hi notesfromnadir,
    Oh, I could cite a book full of reasons. And you're right about how they'll have trouble in the future. I'm willing to bet that they won't be able to get away with writing e-mails like those to their future employers.

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  5. Thanks for the visit and the comment! I'm new here, so reading your first "Dear Professor" emails I thought it was you and was cracking up. I can't believe people actually write them! It's got to be hard not to lower their grade once you receive one of those. ;)

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  6. I wasn't really sleeping. I was just concentrating with my eyes closed. ahaha that's a good one!

    Thanks for visiting my blog, i'll be popping by again for a read this post is hilarious!

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  7. Dear Professor - nice post. (And as I was kept busy reading it, it's your fault I'm not getting on with my marking ...)

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  8. Hi FreeFlying,
    I always have to wonder if those e-mails actually work with other instructors; they never convince me to raise their grade, though. What's worse is if they don't even wait until the end of the term to send me the grade complaint e-mails. I've gotten those types of e-mails after every single assignment from some students who believed their grades should be changed.

    Hi Alice X,
    Thanks! I always make a point of waking students up, but then they fall asleep again in the next class. Do they think I can't see them? Did they forget that I woke them up the last time? I don't know.

    Hi Fran,
    Tee hee, sorry about your marking. Whenever I'm grading students' work I get distracted because I'd rather do anything but grade their work.

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  9. I love it. "How can I work on my dissertation when I'm also teaching?" Um, what about when you have to finish your book project to get tenure with a 3-3 load? Perspective, people!

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  10. Hi Anna,
    I almost forgot about the book. As soon as I finish my dissertation I'll have to start writing other book-length projects, sigghhh... But maybe least one of those books could end up making a contribution to the field, which would be really cool. :)

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  11. It is so easy to blame others, isn't it? No one likes to admit they've contributed mainly to their own failure - or lack of progress, etc.

    I admire people who take on board their own shortcomings and work hard to overcome them!

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  12. Hi Talli,
    It's definitely harder to overcome one's own shortcomings. I think if everyone were able to do this, the world would be a lot different. I know that I need to do it more often.

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  13. It's always what we give them vs. what they deserve. We're so mean!

    In my k-12 education, 4 years of college, and MA + 30, I've only blamed a professor 3x for bad grades.

    1) A science professor who said he could f*ck a chicken and not be fired because he had tenure. You can imagine what an excellent teacher he was. I dropped the course.

    2) A sociology professor who dropped out midyear because of a brain tumor. He lost my midterm paper, lowering my grade to a C+. I didn't find out until the end of the term and this was before I saved papers on the computer.

    3) I had the meanest graduate professors for my MA paper. They made fun of us and explained little. And they didn't love my research paper. Since they provided little guidance, another B+.

    I always worked during college. I never missed a class because of an alarm. I never slept during class. I rarely skipped a class. I got extra help when I needed it.

    It's a called a work ethic. As a workaholic, I know you understand.

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  14. Hi Theresa,
    I bet that one reason some universities are trying to do away with tenure is because of professors like the one you mentioned. That's awful that your graduate professors made fun of you. It's one thing for them to critique the students; it's another thing altogether for them to belittle them.
    The students that I admire are the ones that have a good work ethic. Even if they don't always get A's, they try hard; that always makes a big difference.

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