tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post2361259841562155656..comments2024-02-07T11:07:10.219-06:00Comments on Obsessions of a Workaholic: The Disappearing ActNeurotic Workaholichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-13424916186819996152013-06-07T21:47:24.584-05:002013-06-07T21:47:24.584-05:00Hi Johanna,
Thanks for the advice! It helps! A lo...Hi Johanna,<br /> Thanks for the advice! It helps! A lot of those guys claim that they're looking for relationships, but I think that they're just looking. I think that the right guy for me will be someone I can be myself with and who will still love me in spite of (or because of) that. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-53181284398083558822013-06-07T21:43:27.852-05:002013-06-07T21:43:27.852-05:00That's so weird. I think Talli is correct. Som...That's so weird. I think Talli is correct. Sometimes men are just browsing around, but ewww! You wouldn't want to go out with those browsers anyway. OMG I totally sound like my mother. The next piece of advice is 'just be yourself'!! Johanna Garthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15515478890074610814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-60244452717722665872013-06-06T23:02:13.257-05:002013-06-06T23:02:13.257-05:00Hi Charmaine,
I can't believe that one guy&#...Hi Charmaine,<br /> I can't believe that one guy's second date showed up before his first date was even over! The nerve of that guy! On the other hand, that scene could turn into an interesting story...I think it's okay to date more than one person at the same time (though not on the same day); when I was going on first dates, there were a couple occasions where I scheduled dates with different guys in the same week. But if I were in a committed relationship, obviously I would only date that one person. What you said about how they start narrowing the selection down makes sense, though I think they should only e-mail the girls they're truly interested in meeting. A lot of them claim in their profiles that they're looking for a serious relationship, but I think that several of them still want to play the field. <br /> I definitely would never go on a date with a guy who didn't post any pictures in his profile. Some of them claim that they work in "public" professions that prevent them from revealing their identities online, but that doesn't make any sense (unless they're in the CIA, but that's more of a private profession). A lot of people join dating sites; they don't need to keep it a secret, unless they're involved with other people. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-1857076506192564032013-06-06T20:08:49.600-05:002013-06-06T20:08:49.600-05:00There are different quality dating sites and the o...There are different quality dating sites and the ones that are easy to connect on attract the predators, married/involved men, Cassanovas, etc. Most guys I've know who use the dating sites, set out and find themselves a few candidates - it's not so much to be cruel or sleazy, they look at it as being productive and saving time. They email several girls at once and start narrowing the selection down. They'll meet up with a few different women on coffee dates - one friend told me she got one well with the fellow, they talked for ages and then he was in a rush for her to leave... his next date had turned up at the coffee shop!<br />They really don't think they're doing anything wrong and may actually be hoping to commit with one girl, they just want to make sure they find the right one. Women tend to move through one at a time instead. <br />And don't date anyone who won't put their pic up, the most likely reason is they're afraid someone will recognise them and tell their wife.<br />Be selective. Have an awesome and honest profile and let them come to you. They will, make them earn a date :)<br />Wow, I think my post just turned me into Aunty Edna.Charmaine Clancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18059559142070140041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-39153650779468355622013-06-05T23:35:16.540-05:002013-06-05T23:35:16.540-05:00Hi Nicki,
I've heard of websites that are spec...Hi Nicki,<br />I've heard of websites that are specifically for married people who are "looking", but match.com is not one of them. You're right that the others are misguided. I think that they're insecure about how they look, but a lot of people, including me, are insecure about how they look. I'd rather be with a guy who's a genuinely good person and who I really care about (and who really cares about me), even if he's not the best-looking guy. It'd be better than being with a great-looking guy who's a jerk and doesn't care about me; I've dated guys like that and it never ended well.<br />Maybe that guy does have something going on in his life. I wish he had at least e-mailed me to let me know what was going on, rather than leave me waiting and hoping all week. What he (and all the other disappearing acts) did was mean and insensitive. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-87876765243777824342013-06-05T19:12:57.065-05:002013-06-05T19:12:57.065-05:00Should have been "I'll bet" at the b...Should have been "I'll bet" at the beginning.Nicki Elsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11412032684225126973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-92112729699348316912013-06-05T19:12:25.884-05:002013-06-05T19:12:25.884-05:00I'll be some of the guys not posting pictures ...I'll be some of the guys not posting pictures are the marrieds---want make sure the wife doesn't catch him when she cruises the site, ha. And the others are just misguided - for most women it's not about a beauty contest, it's about the connection, and sometimes you can tell a lot by a kind pair of eyes. <br /><br />As for the disappearing act---no idea. Probably different reasons for different guys. If this latest has disappeared from the site entirely, my guess would be that he's got something going on in his life that's keeping him from pursuing dating right now.Nicki Elsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11412032684225126973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-74269905799370837942013-06-05T18:24:34.396-05:002013-06-05T18:24:34.396-05:00Hi Theresa,
I tried speed dating a few years ago...Hi Theresa,<br /> I tried speed dating a few years ago, before I tried online dating. I did end up with one "match"; he e-mailed me after the speed dating party and invited me out for a drink. I e-mailed him back, but then I never heard from him again. So even in speed dating there are disappearing acts! <br /> The guys who don't post pictures of themselves often describe themselves as "honest", which seems kind of ironic, I think. I never respond to or e-mail anyone who doesn't have a picture in his profile.Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-74720813616273112642013-06-05T17:58:44.298-05:002013-06-05T17:58:44.298-05:00That is demoralizing. I'd assume anyone who do...That is demoralizing. I'd assume anyone who doesn't post a picture doesn't want their wife/girlfriend to find out what they're doing. I don't understand why it's so complicated. What about speed dating? <br /><br />That's weird they post their cars. Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-9805647815497828462013-06-04T18:19:14.213-05:002013-06-04T18:19:14.213-05:00Hi Annalisa,
The disappearing acts are definitely...Hi Annalisa,<br /> The disappearing acts are definitely weird. I don't know what their problem (or problems) is; I just wish they would leave me alone instead of get my hopes up. <br /> Most of the guys I've gone on dates with have been athletic; even though the jocks teased me when I was in school, I found myself dating jocks when I got older. :) Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-10102832388691224862013-06-04T18:17:37.334-05:002013-06-04T18:17:37.334-05:00Hi Julie,
I finally stopped hoping that that guy...Hi Julie,<br /> I finally stopped hoping that that guy would e-mail me back, because now I know he never will. And you're right. He's not worth my time. I'd rather meet a guy who would never lead anyone on.Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-87890921015745050512013-06-04T18:16:33.100-05:002013-06-04T18:16:33.100-05:00Hi Natalie,
Online dating would be easier if it ...Hi Natalie,<br /> Online dating would be easier if it weren't for the disappearing acts and the guys who are two decades or more older who keep "winking" at me. I wish I could have my own online dating success story. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-41611694671516101332013-06-04T16:48:21.977-05:002013-06-04T16:48:21.977-05:00I got married before internet dating took off in s...I got married before internet dating took off in such a big way, so I can't help. It does seem like bizarre behaviour, to bother to write long emails and then vanish. I hope you find a few good ones soon, preferably actually toned and athletic ;-)Annalisa Crawfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14943610814274794998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-59603468472748320452013-06-04T15:14:41.996-05:002013-06-04T15:14:41.996-05:00That's so annoying! But there could a zillion ...That's so annoying! But there could a zillion reasons why they disappear. Don't focus on wondering... just think "they're not worth my time" (because they're not) and move on to the next. Onward!Julie Daohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13814052162359300933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-62220862528880253822013-06-04T15:06:28.328-05:002013-06-04T15:06:28.328-05:00Well I wish you luck. Well I wish you luck. Connecting to the soulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17880943173532146894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-33733604346742592312013-06-04T14:42:37.041-05:002013-06-04T14:42:37.041-05:00Sorry, but I've never tried this type of servi...Sorry, but I've never tried this type of service. I do know people have met people successfully through them though. Sorry you're going through a rough time with it.Natalie Aguirrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03756087804171246660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-77800855663077855772013-06-04T12:17:45.978-05:002013-06-04T12:17:45.978-05:00Hi Debi,
I'm thinking of signing up for a mem...Hi Debi,<br /> I'm thinking of signing up for a membership with plentyoffish if match.com doesn't work out; I've never tried that site before. And at least plentyoffish is free, because I can't afford to spend money on another membership right now. I hope someone is out there for me, and I hope he's a good person. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-11418314243677654952013-06-04T10:13:45.839-05:002013-06-04T10:13:45.839-05:00I don't do match sites like match or eharmony...I don't do match sites like match or eharmony, although I did plentyoffish for a bit, met some interesting people both male and female. But I used to go to chat rooms, when Yahoo had chat rooms and meet my husband there. we were able to talk daily, both in the room and privately.Just celebrated 8 yrs. <br /><br />Keep trying there is someone out there just waiting for ya, I can feel it.<br /><br />DebiConnecting to the soulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17880943173532146894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-43522778427814545982013-06-04T07:51:50.678-05:002013-06-04T07:51:50.678-05:00Hi Misha,
Guys like to complain that they can...Hi Misha,<br /> Guys like to complain that they can't understand women, but I don't fully understand guys either. I can guess at some of the reasons for their bad behavior, but that doesn't excuse any of it. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-71021006052845647882013-06-04T05:16:21.650-05:002013-06-04T05:16:21.650-05:00Can't help you. The only men I understand are ...Can't help you. The only men I understand are the ones who live in my head. Real guys... nope. <br /><br />Misha Gerrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06364173848456424521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-54940591622849194232013-06-03T22:47:41.719-05:002013-06-03T22:47:41.719-05:00Hi mmarinaa,
That's a good question. On matc...Hi mmarinaa,<br /> That's a good question. On match.com and most other sites you can sign up for one month memberships, three month memberships or six month ones. I always sign up for three months, but I don't always stay active for the full three months, usually two months at least. I know that he had to have been a paying member, because you can only send e-mails if you pay the full fee. Nonpaying "members" can view profiles and send winks but not e-mails. I did see several profiles where guys mentioned that their memberships expired or they weren't willing to pay the fee; they included their regular e-mail address for women to e-mail them. I didn't contact them; I figured if they wanted to participate in a paid dating site, they should pay for a membership just like everyone else. But I don't know what the stats are; they always just say if the person was active within the past 24 hours or past week or so. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-10155879408029494492013-06-03T22:26:02.660-05:002013-06-03T22:26:02.660-05:00Well, the one time I did a dating site, I was only...Well, the one time I did a dating site, I was only on it for a short time. Do you know the stats on whether or not the guy was a long time user? I was definitely just trying it out. I exchanged a few messages with a few people, but mostly I was just on it to see how it worked. I wasn't opposed to going on a date, but nobody that I exchanged messages with kept my interest enough to take it to that level in the short time I was active. And then I saw an exboyfriend on the site, freaked out and deleted my account. I'd be curious to know how long the average user is active on a dating site.mmarinaahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16530766837837932504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-39935978383491606882013-06-03T15:50:08.322-05:002013-06-03T15:50:08.322-05:00Hi Emily,
I'm not sure why there are so many...Hi Emily,<br /> I'm not sure why there are so many guys' profiles that feature pictures of their dogs. But that's not as bad as a profile I saw the other day with a fake picture; I know it was fake because the picture was of Macaulay Culkin. I'm pretty sure he's not a member of match.com. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-26496226978511665902013-06-03T15:48:41.979-05:002013-06-03T15:48:41.979-05:00Hi Tammy,
I know! I've read several articles...Hi Tammy,<br /> I know! I've read several articles online where men are given advice on online dating (apparently, women aren't the only ones seeking advice). But most of those articles don't tell guys not to pull disappearing acts; they should tell them that, though. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-65852917506869774992013-06-03T13:47:06.936-05:002013-06-03T13:47:06.936-05:00LOL! Pictures of their dogs. You really should tel...LOL! Pictures of their dogs. You really should tell them that. I love it!Emily R. Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03892444969625637064noreply@blogger.com