tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post162538094998262185..comments2024-02-07T11:07:10.219-06:00Comments on Obsessions of a Workaholic: (I Wish I Could) Just Say NoNeurotic Workaholichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-23429185545153279602011-07-11T14:00:40.129-05:002011-07-11T14:00:40.129-05:00Hi Teddi,
I avoid using the "emergency"...Hi Teddi,<br /> I avoid using the "emergency" excuse for missing work/school unless there really is an emergency. I know that if I were to miss class on a regular basis, my students would not be okay with it; they're paying to be there, after all, and it's important that I do my job to help them learn. By a similar token, I figure they should make the most of their college experience by not missing class too often. <br /><br />Hi Wanton Redhead Writing,<br /> I'm so accident-prone that I'd probably end up tazing myself. It's too bad I can't read people's minds, though; that would make teaching a lot easier.Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-6129790566605104242011-07-11T13:31:43.812-05:002011-07-11T13:31:43.812-05:00I think you taze the students who lie to you about...I think you taze the students who lie to you about family emergencies. Just wait until class is dismissed and you don't have witnesses. <br /><br />As for the others, well, people just suck?<br /><br />Glad to find your blog.Wanton Redhead Writinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05971702384041741216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-2285755731779609702011-07-11T01:42:26.714-05:002011-07-11T01:42:26.714-05:00I used to have a very difficult time saying "...I used to have a very difficult time saying "no" and it was mostly in response to doing someone a favor, helping someone out or taking up another responsibility for a "good cause". I'm still really bad at saying no, but I've come to a place where I learned that if I take on too much, I won't do that thing well. If it needs to be done and it needs to be done well, sometimes it means ME not doing it.<br /><br />By the way, a grandmother who dies 3 times? I'm not a perfect student by any means, but I have never made up a family emergency to get out of a class/assignment; perhaps I've had enough REAL family emergencies that I don't want to put a jinx on myself!Teddihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17999045840464509297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-14164508784910325482011-07-07T20:17:48.732-05:002011-07-07T20:17:48.732-05:00Hi Sara,
I reread your comment and I realized th...Hi Sara,<br /> I reread your comment and I realized that you were disagreeing with me about the attendance policy. Sorry about that! Anyway, the reason I have an attendance policy is because the classes I teach (freshman composition and literature) aren't just reading based; they're also based on writing and class discussions. And I believe that I am treating the students like adults, by holding them accountable for their actions; when they start working, a lot of employers won't allow them to miss too many days of work. But I guess we can just agree to disagree on this issue. <br /><br />Hi Alice X,<br /> I haven't seen that Jim Carrey movie, but it sounds interesting. I like him; he's always made me laugh ever since I saw him in that Ace Ventura movie.Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-36770681609743969492011-07-07T15:58:47.714-05:002011-07-07T15:58:47.714-05:00I have a horrible habit of of agreeing to do thing...I have a horrible habit of of agreeing to do things i'd rather not because i hate saying no. I too feel guilty, i feel like i'm letting people down, but i don't think i should feel guilty. Why spend life doing things you don't want to just for the sake of others, it's not fair. <br /><br />We all need to learn the art of saying NO sometimes, the film Yes Man with Jim Carrey comes to mind.Alice Xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16126775978614384719noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-79249703624865994532011-07-07T09:15:16.083-05:002011-07-07T09:15:16.083-05:00Actually I dont think I was clear...I am disagreei...Actually I dont think I was clear...I am disagreeing with you. <br /><br />I liked professors with no attendance policy but said, if you dont come you dont get to make up the work. Your an adult. Your choice. If you dont come to class and fail I have no sympathy for you. <br /><br />I disliked the professors that made going to class part of the grade, who I felt were trying to treat us like teenagers, who are not old enough to make responsible decisions.Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10444784814793987285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-66272940350952610022011-07-06T18:06:37.373-05:002011-07-06T18:06:37.373-05:00Hi Theresa,
At most of the schools where I've...Hi Theresa,<br /> At most of the schools where I've taught, I was told that I could set my own attendance policy; I just had to include it in my syllabus and make sure that the students understood it. I always give them a thorough explanation of the policy, but every semester students will come up to me with more excuses and expect me to make exceptions for them every time. Sometimes they'll even have their parents e-mail me. What bothers me is that I'll let them have a certain number of excused absences; several students who haven't been absent yet will tell me they're going to be absent on a specific date, but then they'll say that they don't want that absence to count towards their excused absences. <br /><br />Hi Libby,<br /> Saying yes to stuff that are obligations is anything but fun; when I feel obligated to do something that makes it that much more difficult to do it. That is, it's more difficult to do something when I don't really want to do it. <br /><br />Hi Sara,<br /> I bet your boss keeps asking you to take on more work because she thinks you'll say yes if she keeps asking. <br /> Like you, I also liked the professors who were strict about attendance. That made me feel like they held their students up to high standards, and it motivated me to fulfill their expectations in class and in my work.Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-87171449550680735702011-07-06T08:45:23.631-05:002011-07-06T08:45:23.631-05:00My boss has a thing where she will ask us to do so...My boss has a thing where she will ask us to do something crazy (like take on another project with a tight deadline when you've already asked for an extension on the seven other projects your doing) and we will say no, we have to much other work to do, then she will just ask us again. <br /><br />Although I must say that I have gotten better at saying no to people with work things. I recently told someone, "Sorry, but I have four deadlines today, I will probably finish this around 6pm, if you are still here and need help I can stay with you as late as you want to stay." <br /><br />As for students, I might be more liberal than I should be, I had classes at University where there were attendance polices and I would always get mad at them. Especially for classes that were heavily reading based. As in the professor I had who asked us to read materiel, than would read it out loud in class. <br /><br />But then I enjoyed Professors a lot more who said, if you miss a day you will not be allowed to make it up unless you have a legitimate excuse (note from a DR etc), no exceptions. Your paying to be here, you are an adult, if you dont come to class you will probably fail, and that is your choice.Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10444784814793987285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-87853704658060640872011-07-06T07:18:29.635-05:002011-07-06T07:18:29.635-05:00I wish I could say no to anything that feels like ...I wish I could say no to anything that feels like an obligation and not like fun.Libbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14323538213636795216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-84804217845435834022011-07-06T07:15:55.280-05:002011-07-06T07:15:55.280-05:00I hate when grandmothers die multiple times. It&#...I hate when grandmothers die multiple times. It's hard on the family to keep reliving that grief. It's like, stay or die, but don't keep dying. <br /><br />Does your school have an attendance policy? It would help back you up with a #. You could be a badass in the beginning of the semester, asking for death certificates when grandmothers repeatedly expire. You'll (maybe) get some laughs, and make your point. Give them a max # with no exceptions.<br /><br />I hated working in retail. I hated having to be flexible. They always gave me more hours than I wanted. I had a hard time saying no in situations like that.<br /><br />I also have a hard time saying no when people want to pile work on me, but I've gotten better. <br /><br />Saying no to my kids? I'm excellent at that.Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-88903591021263395302011-07-06T00:12:22.632-05:002011-07-06T00:12:22.632-05:00Hi Emily,
It is definitely difficult to say no to...Hi Emily,<br /> It is definitely difficult to say no to family. They should help you with dinner, though; at the very least they should help with cleanup or bring extra dishes for everyone to enjoy. Maybe you could secretly hire someone to help set up the dinner before everyone shows up. That way you'd have a chance to have fun at dinner too.Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-3797163161800402482011-07-05T22:23:48.227-05:002011-07-05T22:23:48.227-05:00My instances involve my family. "Will you hos...My instances involve my family. "Will you host the next family dinner?" I want to say no instead of running around like a mad woman cooking, cleaning, and ensuring everyone's having a good time while I do all the work, but I can't. Because they're family, ya know? I wish I could tell them no and not hear about it for the next five years.Emily R. Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03892444969625637064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-50960710802508969402011-07-05T22:14:45.377-05:002011-07-05T22:14:45.377-05:00Hi mmarinaa,
That's interesting about what &...Hi mmarinaa, <br /> That's interesting about what "wee hours" mean; thanks for the definition! I always specify that I won't work after midnight, though, because I am more likely to wake up early than to stay up late (and stay awake). <br /><br />Hi Karen,<br /> It'd be nice if there was a special place in heaven for retail workers. I think it'd be a place where we'd get to rest for as much as we wanted. It'd also be a place where we'd actually be able to afford to buy the stuff we sell in the stores where we work. :) <br /><br />Hi notesfromnadir,<br /> At one of my retail jobs, I tried cutting down on the number of hours that I was available to work; it was just getting to be too much. But then I started getting fewer shifts as a result, because the employer preferred to give the shifts to people who were available to work more often. But either way, you're right in that I can't work too many hours. I'd rather get fewer shifts than too many.Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-22563964348246555522011-07-05T11:13:32.677-05:002011-07-05T11:13:32.677-05:00The same grandparent died 3 times? Family emergenc...The same grandparent died 3 times? Family emergency means hanging out w. friends in the quad? Wow! :)<br /><br />1 thing I learned was to avoid using the word FLEXIBLE on my resume. That just opened the door to problems. But in retail I guess that is 1 of the problems. <br /><br />Most retail stores are generally open at least 12 hours per day, 7 days per week so it's harder to fill that schedule. But you can only work so many hours & when you gotta say NO you gotta say NO.notesfromnadirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09904500676081267972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-74840448512305473102011-07-05T11:07:05.820-05:002011-07-05T11:07:05.820-05:00I hope you come down hard on those slackers in you...I hope you come down hard on those slackers in your classroom. Grrr! That would really irritate me. It isn't high school! The retail situation on the other hand is to be expected, because that's the kind of job it is. An executive at a major grocery store told me once that there's a special place in heaven for those who work in retail.Karen Jones Gowenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01153821980625034810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-48345712928912350632011-07-05T10:23:08.424-05:002011-07-05T10:23:08.424-05:00It's called the wee hours because it refers to...It's called the wee hours because it refers to the hours right after midnight, i.e. small numbers. Also, totally interested in the literary significance of the word portfolio. I'm sorry, what were we talking about, haha...mmarinaahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16530766837837932504noreply@blogger.com