tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post1060091776080350007..comments2024-02-07T11:07:10.219-06:00Comments on Obsessions of a Workaholic: Reaching Out to OthersNeurotic Workaholichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-82898884272892722132013-03-16T11:40:52.400-05:002013-03-16T11:40:52.400-05:00Hi Charmaine,
I especially like your statement a...Hi Charmaine,<br /> I especially like your statement about how situations do not define us and how we recover from them does define us. That meeting with my professors made me feel like I was being defined by my situation; I felt like everything I had done so far wasn't enough. But now that I've talked to several different people, I've realized that there is more than one perspective on this situation; at the time of the meeting, it felt like my professors' perspectives were the only ones. <br /> I actually used to enjoy doing research when I was an undergrad and when I was in the M.A. program. But once I entered the PhD program and learned that my research had to focus more on theory rather than literature, it because less enjoyable. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-62324832348753170852013-03-16T08:44:27.954-05:002013-03-16T08:44:27.954-05:00Just read through your last post as well. Sorry yo...Just read through your last post as well. Sorry you've had a hard time of it, but be proud of yourself for how you've handled it. You've set about straight away for solutions, and you've taken care of yourself emotionally as well by reaching out for support. Situations do not define us, how we recover from them does.<br /><br />There can often appear to be a gap between the academic view and the reality. Research only shows your value as a researcher. It's a skill not a talent and all skills are attainable. You have more than one aspect to your life and that's healthy, it's also generous of you. Your efforts will pay off.Charmaine Clancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18059559142070140041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-77749177063278156342013-03-15T07:03:14.038-05:002013-03-15T07:03:14.038-05:00Hi Theresa,
Academia is definitely a hard busine...Hi Theresa,<br /> Academia is definitely a hard business. If I'd fully understood how difficult it is, I might have chosen a different career, even though I love teaching. I hope I do find my way to the other side; I just wish it didn't take such a long time to get there. I feel like I've been waiting for so long already. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-88108055887858120862013-03-15T05:15:58.727-05:002013-03-15T05:15:58.727-05:00I'm so glad you've reached out to other pe...I'm so glad you've reached out to other people to help you. And I'm glad you approached your professor and received some encouragement. You've chosen a hard business, as you know. Your life rests in few hands. I hope you find your way to the other side soon. I'm rooting for you!Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-733591418738295232013-03-14T23:12:09.032-05:002013-03-14T23:12:09.032-05:00Hi Anna,
The snow storm was Chicago as usual, th...Hi Anna,<br /> The snow storm was Chicago as usual, though I did come close to falling down in the street more than once. Every winter I always slip and fall on the ice or snow at least once. <br /> I most likely will be writing more about how things progress, because I'm so wrapped up in the dissertation right now. I think I've become even more of a workaholic as a result. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-38987751343398729692013-03-14T21:01:09.585-05:002013-03-14T21:01:09.585-05:00I'm so happy to hear that you are feeling bett...I'm so happy to hear that you are feeling better about the situation with your committee! Keep us posted on how things progress :) I hope you survived the snow storm last week, too.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00961332983813359209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-41511606079377488222013-03-14T10:55:50.346-05:002013-03-14T10:55:50.346-05:00Hi Annalisa,
Thank you for your encouragement! I...Hi Annalisa,<br /> Thank you for your encouragement! I like Maroon 5 and Britney, even though people made fun of me for liking Britney's music when she first got started. But she's been around for more than a decade, and she's still successful. And I like songs by musicians like her because they make me feel like dancing. I don't want to run away, but I hope they don't make me leave the graduate program either. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-19200880141325146912013-03-14T07:00:01.435-05:002013-03-14T07:00:01.435-05:00I haven't been here for a while, so I just scr...I haven't been here for a while, so I just scrolled down and read your previous post too. Bad news is hard to take, but running away never works. You've worked so hard - I never even got to university! When you're feeling really down, dancing around the room really helps - drag out all the Maroon 5 and Britney tracks you have and dance until you're exhausted. It does help - all that blood rushing around your body! Best wishes to you.Annalisa Crawfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14943610814274794998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-84937283246547213812013-03-13T23:43:16.812-05:002013-03-13T23:43:16.812-05:00Hi Jessie,
I definitely was suffering from heart...Hi Jessie,<br /> I definitely was suffering from heartache; because I'm so invested in my work, my heart broke when I was told that my work wasn't good enough. And I couldn't relax in bed for too long, anyway, because I just kept thinking of all the work that I still had to do. Talking to other people made it feel less overwhelming. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-90779691888710966642013-03-13T23:40:50.574-05:002013-03-13T23:40:50.574-05:00I'm glad that you didn't crawl into bed! I...I'm glad that you didn't crawl into bed! I think the best way to get over heartache is to reach out. You totally did the right thing. Getting active and looking toward the future will help brighten your spirits every time...in my opinion :)Jessie Humphrieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11096043821002254348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-90749362393544075522013-03-12T21:40:56.422-05:002013-03-12T21:40:56.422-05:00Hi Emily,
Thanks for your encouragement! And I&#...Hi Emily,<br /> Thanks for your encouragement! And I'm glad that I called my friend too. I believe that friends are the first people you think of when you need someone to talk to. They're the ones who are there for you, just like you are there for them if they need you. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-82742130912696241992013-03-12T20:24:51.169-05:002013-03-12T20:24:51.169-05:00I'm so glad you called your friend! I think we...I'm so glad you called your friend! I think we need to do that to keep ourselves centered sometimes. Leaning on others isn't a weakness, in fact, I think it takes tremendous strength. Whenever I used my friends or family as a crutch, I'm so grateful for them.<br /><br />Keep working on that dissertation and stay in grad school! You won't regret it!Emily R. Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03892444969625637064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-29284698957660590542013-03-11T19:56:15.421-05:002013-03-11T19:56:15.421-05:00Hi Julie,
Thank you! It was hard at first to rea...Hi Julie,<br /> Thank you! It was hard at first to reach out to them, because I was embarrassed to admit that I'd been struggling. I always thought that everyone else was so sure of themselves, but I was wrong. And it does help to have people listen. I spend so much time rushing around from place to place, so it felt good to stop and just talk to other people about what I was going through. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-32485379356706314812013-03-11T17:16:05.306-05:002013-03-11T17:16:05.306-05:00I'm really proud of you for reaching out to ot...I'm really proud of you for reaching out to others because it takes a strong person to do so. It's sooo much easier to curl back on yourself and shut the world out (I'm an introvert too, so I know) but it's nice to have people listen, even if it's hard to take that step to confide in them in the first place. I'm glad you had that professor encourage you. And like I said the other day to a friend whose PhD in cell biology took her almost twice as long to achieve as anyone else she'd began the program with: there's no set timeline that works for everyone. You're here and you're trying and that's all that matters. Hugs to you!!! Keep your chin up, girl.Julie Daohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13814052162359300933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-16466053036129696202013-03-11T15:32:06.674-05:002013-03-11T15:32:06.674-05:00Hi Johanna,
Thanks! Talking to other people helped...Hi Johanna,<br />Thanks! Talking to other people helped me see that there are other ways of looking at the situation; I had been so focused on what my professors thought of me and my work that I didn't think of alternative views.<br />A new playlist would be awesome! You can e-mail it to me at neuroticworkaholicgmail.com.Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-45693519260706800512013-03-11T11:18:34.030-05:002013-03-11T11:18:34.030-05:00I am soooo proud of you! I think you're really...I am soooo proud of you! I think you're really finding your way and it makes me amazingly happy you reached out and got different points of view!<br /><br />btw, I have a cool new playlist that's all angsty and British hip from a 20-something guy friend if you want me to send you some music suggestions to add to your playlists :)Johanna Garthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15515478890074610814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-62674664895636800022013-03-11T09:35:01.672-05:002013-03-11T09:35:01.672-05:00Hi Deniz,
It does help to hear from other people...Hi Deniz,<br /> It does help to hear from other people who have already made it; it gives me hope that I will make it too. Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2445163857888749606.post-81432903166058844362013-03-11T08:55:07.034-05:002013-03-11T08:55:07.034-05:00Such a good reminder to reach out! I tend to try t...Such a good reminder to reach out! I tend to try to work through things on my own a lot, but every once in a while it's good to get out there and hear from others who are in the same boat, or have already landed on a safe shore :-)Deniz Bevanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17134553551048836979noreply@blogger.com